Seth couldn't believe it. He had never felt this happy in his life, except for that one night in California that he spent with Tommy. Scott and Julie didn't hate him. They weren't going to judge him. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have such amazing friends. But as he sat there, alone on his bed, thinking about what happened only hours earlier at Julie's house, the euphoria of the moment started to wear off. It was being replaced with fear. 'What if no one else accepts me?' He couldn't help but tremble at the thought. For someone who had never had to worry about his social standing before, he was troubled now. He knew how gays were treated in society. He also knew that it was usually much worse for them in high school. He knew that Julie and Scott were okay with it, but there was no way that all of his other friends were going to be. 'What about the rest of the team? What are they going to think of their captain liking it up the ass? I am supposed to be their leader; will they just kick me off the team?'

Seth knew that his teammates had openly made fun of other gay kids at school. Seth had even joined in on a few occasions, not wanting to be seen as a pussy. He had never thought about what those kids had to go through. Having everyone judge you, and having very few friends to help you cope with it...Seth admired them for the courage to be so open about it, despite the consequences. He gulped as he thought about his dad.

When Seth's parents had gotten divorced, he had the choice to live with either his mom or his dad. He knew that his mom would be fine, but his dad was a wreck. He didn't think his dad would have been able to support himself without his son's help. Seth couldn't imagine how his Albertan father would take the news that his son was gay; he only knew that it wouldn't be good. He wished he had a dad like his uncle Aaron. But thinking about California only hurt him more.

For the last week of Seth's summer vacation in California, he spent most of his time with Tommy. Seth remembered the butterflies he got in his stomach every time he would see Tommy. They would spend entire nights together on the beach. Tommy was Seth's first kiss. He remembered the way Tommy was looking at him. He remembered how he smelled. How good he looked in his white LaCoste polo, stretched tightly over his muscular frame. Seth couldn't believe how absolutely perfect Tommy was. His light grey eyes had such warmth; they lit a fire deep inside Seth's soul every time he saw them. He remembered the way Tommy's soft pink lips felt against his own. How he had slowly let his mouth open and Tommy's tongue snaked its way inside his mouth, rubbing against his own. The way Tommy had put his arms around Seth, pulling him closer, and rubbing his hands all over Seth's body. Seth couldn't help but get turned on as he remembered the way Tommy's big strong hands had pulled his own sweater and Seth's shirt off of Seth's body. Tommy had rubbed his nipples, making the darker skin hard. Seth had somehow managed to pull off Tommy's shirt without breaking the kiss, and his own hands started exploring the older boy's body. He had been fascinated by the ripples of muscle on Tommy's body. He loved that his skin was totally smooth and hairless, except for a patch of perfect hair trailing seductively from right below his navel, all the way down into his jeans. Tommy had broken off the kiss to undo Seth's belt, pulling his pants all the way down, and then finally off. He had laughed lightly at seeing Seth's tight white SpongeBob boxers, with quite a sizeable bulge underneath. Seth, turning a little pink at the cheeks, had pulled Tommy's pants off as well, revealing his own tight black briefs. He remembered gasping as he saw the older boy's huge bulge. Tommy had laughed again and pushed Seth lightly on to the sand, as he got on top of him and resumed kissing him, lightly running his breath all over Seth's face and neck. Seth had gasped for breath as Tommy lightly bit down on his neck, kissing him passionately. He had then flicked his tongue all over Seth's chest, stopping at each nipple to gently bite and suck on each one. Tommy had continued down Seth's abdomen, kissing each muscular ridge, and finally made his way down to his navel. He had spent a few minutes running his tongue all around the younger boy's belly-button, nipping lightly at the flawless skin, and nearly perfect treasure trail running down his abdomen. Seth had started to lightly moan as Tommy's wonderful tongue had worked him into a state of ecstasy. Tommy had finally moved down onto Seth's boxers and started to mouth his throbbing member through the fabric. Seth had started moaning louder. Tommy had stopped then, and looked up at the beautiful boy he was driving crazy. "Are you sure you want me to keep going?" He had said. "God...yes...stop teasing me, just suck it already!" Tommy had grinned at this and hooked his thumbs underneath Seth's boxers. He pulled them right down, finally releasing the huge tool that his mouth was craving. He licked his lips and gently kissed the head of Seth's penis. "You have a beautiful dick...god, every part of you is fucking gorgeous!" He finally put Seth out of his misery and took the head of his cock right into his mouth, gently probing his piss hole with his tongue, swallowing the copious amounts of pre-cum that started to run out of the rock hard pole. "Oh my god, this feels amazing!" Seth couldn't believe how good it felt to have Tommy's mouth on his dick. Smiling, Tommy started to take more of the younger boy's member down into his throat. He finally felt Seth's balls against his chin and was surprised; he didn't know he'd be able to take all nine inches into his throat. Seth had started moaning loudly, he knew he wasn't going to last long at this rate. "Shit...oh god, Tommy...I'm going to...ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Seth's cock stiffened in Tommy's throat and he felt the boy's large ballsack rise up. Suddenly he was swallowing like crazy as Seth released his giant load deep into Tommy's throat. After licking up every drop of his delicious cum, Tommy gingerly kissed the head of that big dick. "Jesus Tommy...that was incredible!" Tommy had smiled and pulled Seth's face towards his own. They had kissed passionately again, sharing Seth's fresh load. Seth decided that it was time for him to repay the favour. Pulling down Tommy's briefs, he went right to work on Tommy's eight thick inches of rock hard cock. It wasn't the greatest blowjob Tommy had ever had, but he relished it knowing that such a hot stud was giving it to him. He blew his load quickly, and Seth nearly choked on the cum oozing down his throat. He swallowed quickly, managing to get most of it. He had wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, and returned to Tommy's face. They kissed again, more gently than before, but Seth felt the passion of that kiss.

Seth knew that night that he had fallen in love. Nobody had every made him feel that way before. He spent as much time with Tommy as he could before he had to leave. He lost his virginity to Tommy only two nights later, and it was incredible for both of them.

It was on the last night of his vacation that Seth's life was turned upside-down. He had gone over to Tommy's house that night, hoping to surprise him. He knocked on the door, waiting for almost three minutes with no answer, he walked in, surprised to find the door unlocked. He walked down the hall and he heard some noises coming from upstairs. Thinking that Tommy was probably just watching tv or something, Seth crept silently up the stairs. He went slowly down the hallway, the noises getting louder. He went right to the last door in the hallway, the door which led to Tommy's room. 'Why is his door closed?' he wondered to himself. He grabbed the doorknob and gently pushed the door open. He had gasped when he saw what was making the noises. There was Tommy, lying on the bed, his body undulating on top of somebody else. At first Seth couldn't see who it was, but as the person turned their head, he realized it was his cousin, Tucker. With tears flowing down his beautiful cheeks, Seth turned and ran. "Wait! Stop, I can explain!" Tommy was trying to stop Seth, but it was too late. Seth had practically jumped down the stairs and bolted out the door. He didn't stop running until he got to the docks. He looked around, the tears still streaming down his face. He walked to the ledge, slowly letting himself fall to the ground.

"How could I have been so stupid?" He couldn't believe it. He had been betrayed by not only his cousin, but also by the first person he had ever fallen in love with. He couldn't stop crying that night, he sat there, sobbing silently well past midnight. The flowers he had brought with him to give to Tommy were lying at his feet, wilted and dying. He had started wishing he had never come, wishing he had never met Tommy. "I can't believe they did that to me..."

It was shortly after two in the morning when his cousin found him at the docks, and he sat down next to him. "Listen...cuz...I'm sorry." Seth couldn't even look at him. "I know we hurt you. It was stupid, but Tommy should have told you. He doesn't do relationships. He just likes to have fun. It was unfair to you, but he did care about you, just...he didn't love you. And I know I should have told you we were sleeping together before, but you didn't even know I was gay...and I was scared to tell you." Seth finally looked into his cousin's face. He had always thought of Tucker as being his hero, his role-model. He was a great looking young man, and just like himself, he had been the captain and quarterback of his football team; the envy of everyone else in high school. Finding out that he was also gay was a shock...finding out they were sleeping with the same guy was beyond disturbing. "I thought you loved me...I thought he loved me..."

Tucker tried to embrace his cousin, but Seth just pushed him away. He had never wanted to hurt him, but he also just liked to have fun, and he didn't really think that Seth was really in love with Tommy. "I know you're hurt, and I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you cared about Tommy, but cuz...you have to understand, we're just two guys who were looking for something to do. It was just casual sex; I thought it was the same for you. I never meant to hurt you, and I do love you, and I know Tommy cares about you. But it takes more than a summer to fall in love with someone. I think when you get home you're going to realize that it was just a fling, and it didn't mean as much to you as you thought."

Seth couldn't stand to hear his cousin's voice anymore. He couldn't believe his cousin was trying to persuade him that it was ok what he had done, because it was just casual sex after all.

He got up and went back to his uncle's house. He slept until the next afternoon, not talking to anyone. When it was time for his aunt and uncle to drive him to the airport, he grabbed his bag and walked through the door, without so much as looking at his cousin. As he stepped through the security gates, he gave his aunt and uncle a hug and thanked them for their hospitality over the summer. "Don't mention it; just make sure that you don't wait too long before coming back! We all miss you too much!" Seth tried to smile at his clueless uncle; he didn't want him to know that it was going to be a long time before he felt ready to come back here. All he was able to manage was a weak grimace. "Goodbye uncle Aaron, I'll talk to you really soon, thanks again, and you too aunt Janice!" And with that, Seth gave his relatives one last look and stepped onto the platform to board his plane.

As he sat on his bed, thinking this all over in his head, Seth realized that he was alone. He had Julie and Scott, and that was it. He had no one to love, and no one to love him. He was scared to love again; he knew he was just going to end up getting hurt. He wished he could have the self-confidence of someone like Corey.

Corey Silvers was a boy in Seth's calculus class. The whole school knew he was gay, but he didn't seem to mind. He was one of the nicest kids in the school, 'and he's really cute too' Seth thought. He just didn't see how he was ever going to be able to deal with things the way that Corey could. He knew that Corey's parents owned the nicest restaurant in town, and they were fairly well off. They knew that he was gay, and they were very supportive. They helped him out in anyway they could. They had a lot of connections, and when Corey started getting interested in acting, his parents hooked him up with one of their many contacts who ran an advertising agency. After helping him find an agent, he auditioned for a role in a Pepsi commercial. He had been very nervous, but he knew he could do it. Seth knew that only two days later Corey got the call; he was going to be in the commercial. From being nobody to being in a Pepsi commercial was huge. Since then, Corey had many jobs in advertising, including a huge job as a model for a Calvin Klein commercial. After that he got his big break and got a supporting role in this fall's breakout hit television show called 'Empty Spaces'. He played the role of Aiden, a teenager who had lost his father in the first gulf war, and his mother was a raging alcoholic. He had been thrust unwillingly into the role of breadwinner for his family, and had to single-handedly take care of his younger brother and sisters. Aiden was the next-door neighbour to the main character, and so Corey received a lot of airtime, making him a big celebrity for such a small town.

Since the show came out, he had gotten a lot more popular at school. In fact, Corey was the only gay guy in the entire school who was respected and even admired by the football team. He didn't care about popularity though, and that's what made him so different. Seth, being so self-conscious, couldn't imagine how Corey managed to be so carefree. He was also one of the smartest kids in the senior year. He was lined up to go to Queen's University, Canada's version of an Ivy League school. He never seemed to have any problems with anything, and for some reason, his best friend was the least likely girl that was like him yet different. Her name was Lauren Greenwood. It wasn't as if people didn't like her, it's just that she refused to conform to the ideals that made every other girl in the school popular. She refused to get shit-faced at parties, she wouldn't make fun of others, and she didn't act like a slut. Her boyfriend was a college student, and she didn't care what people said about that. She was very pretty, but she hated when people were made fun of others for things that they had no control over, so she couldn't stand girls like Michaela Church. She was the most popular girl in school, and she was going out with Seth's friend Josh. Scott's girlfriend Julie was friends with her, but only because Josh and Scott were such close friends. Seth didn't really like her either, but he valued his friendship with Josh, so he never said anything about her. She was a total bitch who hated Lauren simply because she was kind of a threat to her. She would always make comments towards her, but Lauren shrugged them off and laughed, knowing that the only reason that Michaela didn't like her was because Lauren was nicer, prettier, and basically better than her in every way.

 

Corey was really upset about the way that Michaela was treating Lauren, so one day he went up to her and told her off. Being a popular guy, no one said anything to him, and she stopped being rude to Lauren. She still couldn't stand Lauren, but she knew that there was no reason to start something with Corey.

Seth had heard all of this from talking to Josh, and he really respected Corey for what he did. He didn't know where he got the balls to stand up to someone like that. Seth knew that if he wanted people to respect him after he came out, he was going to have to start acting more sure of himself, and far more confident. He wanted desperately to be friends with Corey; he just wasn't sure how to go about it. How do you approach someone who's gay, knowing that they probably don't like you because you have a reputation for making fun of gay people? He also didn't want to out himself by hanging out with Corey.

Seth desperately wanted to get his secret off of his chest, he just wasn't sure how, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with the repercussions. He knew he needed Corey's help, and to get Corey's help...well...Seth had no idea what he was going to do...

 

Josh Volland

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