Taylor stared at the house from inside his beat up Chevy. Not much seemed to have changed, though the place looked like it needed painting. It had been nearly 5 years since he last saw the place, and lots had changed since then. To begin with he would be a senior at College next year, something many never expected to see him reach. Least of all his father, and siblings, but his Mother had pushed him hard, and though she wasn't around now to see, he was doing what she had always thought he could do, to be someone.
He never expected to ever come back here, and his memories of that day when he had left with his Mother, hearing the shouts and anger coming from the rest of his family, still hurt, but he had become accustomed to the dark memory. It was part of what had driven him to succeed, and he took some satisfaction in knowing his older sister and brother had failed while he had succeeded.
Still it wasn't much of a comfort now. The loss of his Mother to Cancer had changed all that, and was why he was back here, where he had learned what it meant to be Gay in a family of devout Catholics. All he had grown up believing in had been taken from him when his father had found him with his long time friend, Chase.
Just thinking of Chase gave him a boner. The guy had always been a looker, something Taylor wasn't, least in his own eyes. Others would disagree but then they didn't know Chase. That was a perfect match of face, body, and personality rolled into one sweet package. Chase was a natural blonde, long hair that always stretched down his back and around his slender neck. His lips were pale and thin, that matched his nose. The eyes were always a sparkling deep aqua marine green color that used to make Taylor's heart skip a beat or two.
Back then Chase was slender, but with muscles. He wasn't skinny, but his body was a perfect match for him. He moved gracefully, even then. The legs were long and the thighs were solid mass, and you could see the muscles when he was running in his gym shorts. It really was an image that Taylor missed seeing in person.
Back then they were friends, had grown up together and gone thru Catholic School together. They shared many classes and would always joke about the Nuns or Priests that taught them. It was all part of growing up, and so naturally, they had experimented with each other. It wasn't like they were screwing each other either, but they touched and just enjoyed each other.
Taylor thought he had felt it more, had wanted to do more, but he was always scared that if he said anything, Chase wouldn't understand. Even that day, when his Father had caught them, it wasn't anything serious. They were just playing and so what if he had a hard on? Didn't make him evil, but he had seen the look on Chase's face while his father was cursing them both and calling on God to wreak his vengeance on them. It was one of fear, of complete desolation. It was also the last time he had seen Chase.
The rap on his window startled him and he turned around quickly. He had been so lost in his memories he hadn't even noticed the tall lanky young man that now stared at him through his car window. His heart skipped a few beats as he rolled down his window, to once more look into the twinkling eyes of his childhood friend.
'Thought it was you man, so, you staying in that wreck of a car, or you coming out?'
He smiled at Chase as he listened to the voice greet him. It was a bit richer in tone than he recalled, but the look and expression was exactly as he had remembered. Nothing seemed to have changed and the smile was warm and inviting. He grinned as he opened the door, making Chase step back a step or two.
As he climbed out of the car, he took it all in. His eyes moved up and down to see what had changed, and if anything Chase looked hotter than ever. His body was still lean, but more defined and the face was still a perfect match. The hair was a bit shorter, but still hung below the collar of his open shirt. A few chest hairs showed that somehow made him grin even more.
His eyes had wanted to stay glaring at the tight bulging package too, but he resisted the temptation. Still it looked fuller and more inviting than he remembered. Chase was still Chase he though as he stuck his hand out.
Instead of grabbing it, Chase merely smiled and reached around to hug Taylor. The press of his body up against his own made his heart race even faster. He was surprised by the sudden embrace and felt the hard press of Chase's groin into his own, and his body reacted naturally. Panic gripped at Taylor as he felt his hard cock pressing up against Chase's warm body.
'Still the same horny bitch, I see' Chase remarked as he stepped back, his hands still holding onto Taylor's shoulders. The eyes still sparkled as they stared at each other for several minutes, the unspoken words hanging over their heads like swords.
'You know me, easily excited' was all Taylor could manage in response. He felt uneasy, wondering about all that must have happened. They hadn't spoken since that day, and all he could recall was that look of horror on Chase's face. Yet he still hoped, as Chase dropped his hands from his shoulders, smiling at him.
'Yeah, you learned any control since?' The evil little grin on Chase's face made Taylor feel a bit weak at the knees. He could feel his old friend laughing at him, on the inside. It was always a joke between them, at how easily Taylor would always cum. He hadn't the nerve then to tell Chase, that it was simply because of how much he wanted Chase. That his presence, his naked body, was too much for him to have any control at all. Looking now into Chase's face, he realized that Chase knew.
'Some, depends on what I am looking at'
'Yeah? So no special friends waiting back at the College?'
'Special? No, no not really, just friends, but nothing special'
'Really? Figured you'd have a half dozen or so under your thumb, doing your bidding'
“Yeah right, as if. And you? You got yourself anyone special? Bet you have a whole slew following you around.'
'Me? Never, I am the shy type'
'Oh Christ, you shy? You? Hell that is almost like saying the Pope supports Priests being married! Come on, anyone special?'
Chase looked down at his feet, then back up at Taylor. There was a strange sadness he had never seen before and it made Taylor suddenly stop grinning. It hurt to see that look, and he wished he had something smart to say. Instead he just stared as Chase looked back at him, letting the silence grow for a few seconds.
'No Taylor, no one special, not even close to being special, least not since you left'
The words just hung in the air. Taylor didn't know what to say or do. He wanted to reach out and hug Chase, but he could feel the eyes of the neighbourhood on him. Hell, he could feel the piercing eyes of his father boring on his back, as the sound of a door opening and slamming shut, echoed. It was almost as if a wall had suddenly descended between them, as they just stared at each other, unsure what to say or do next.
Suddenly they were surrounded by his family. His brothers and sisters were all slapping him on the back, including his father. Chase had stepped back, that same sad look across his face as Taylor was welcomed home. It was as if the past no longer existed, as if nothing had ever changed. Even when his father had hugged him, welcoming him back it all felt unreal. Only the look on Chase's face was different, was what somehow seemed to matter the most to him, as he was swept up in the charade of being back.
He was being swept up in the moment by his family and he found himself suddenly back inside his childhood home. Nothing seemed to have changed much, other than the furniture was a bit older, more rickety but still the same tired old stuff he remembered. The pictures were still all there, the various school photos on the mantle, including his own.
While the pictures of his siblings grew older, his remained the same. New pictures were there of his family, showing them getting older, but his seemed frozen in time. It was a sad reminder of what had happened and still, over the whole parade of pictures, was the wooden cross he had always remembered. Still weathered looking, and still seeming to be watching over them all.
Despite numerous attempts, it took him several hours before he could slip away from the family. Darkness was already falling as he stepped out of the house and stared along the forlorn looking street. He sighed, staring at all the places where his childhood memories had been made, seeing it all look a bit dirty, a bit rundown.
He began to walk along the street, noting how nothing much had changed on the block. The houses all looked the same, and yet while some had fresh paint, none seemed to be quite as he had remembered. Thinking still of Chase, he began to seek out their old haunts, to try and recall all that they had done at each place.
None of it seemed to help, as he couldn't shake that image of Chase looking so pained. Nor could he ignore the words that still rang in his head. Maybe he should have tried to contact him before now, but he never knew what to say. He was also afraid.
Without even realizing it, he had walked to that one spot, where he and Chase had always escaped to when troubled. It was a small secluded spot, overlooking the neighbourhood. It was part of the cemetery and as he walked up the little embankment, he realized someone else was already there. He quickened his steps as he hoped it would be Chase, and as he reached the top, where the huge tree stood silently on guard, he recognized the lone figure, sitting quietly.
Chase looked up as Taylor approached. There was pleasure there, but also sadness that made Taylor hesitate for a moment, before he too sat down under the tree. The darkness was growing as they sat there, staring out at the neighbourhood. He didn't know what to say and the silence felt oppressive as he kept wondering, kept hoping.
He could feel Chase's presence, and yet he didn't know what to say, or do even. Taylor felt uneasy as he thought back to all the times they had met here. The fun they had shared, wrestling under this very tree, the times when they had talked about all sorts of things, including their hopes. It was also here where they shared their pain too. When Chase had been whipped by his father for coming home with poor grades, or the time his father had slapped him for staying out too late. All that had easily passed between them, and yet now, it all seemed like a dream.
Slowly he let his hand move from next to him. Taylor was afraid, but he couldn't let it go either. Thinking of Chase for all those years had been what kept him going, though at times he had tried to push those thoughts away. His hand moved until it was next to Chase's. He could feel the warmth and no matter what, he couldn't let it go again.
Taylor reached out and placed his hand over Chase's hand. He felt it jerk a little, then relax as they sat there. As the street lights began to turn on beneath them, Chase finally spoke, in a soft sad tone that made Taylor quiver.
'I waited here, that day, you never came'
'I couldn't, the fighting and yelling went on for hours'
'and after the yelling? I stayed up here, waiting'
'I didn't know, it seemed like I would fall asleep to them yelling at each other, at me, and I'd wake up to it. It went on for days, until well, you know'
'yeah, sucked then, sucks now'
'you still pissed at me?'
'for what? Leaving?'
'well, that too, but for, well, your folks must have gone nuts too, specially your dad'
'No, it wasn't your fault we got caught, besides it wasn't like we were really doing anything. And no, the old man surprised me, he didn't go ballistic on me, hell he didn't even yell at me. It was all kind of strange really.'
'What? I would have thought he would have taken off after you, he did for far less shit.'
'Yeah, but no, he hardly said a word, and its strange, but ever since then, I don't know Taylor, he changed. He hasn't even come close to trying to smack me or mom around.'
'Well that's good at least. I was worried about that. I know I should have called or something, but I was too scared. I thought he might come after me, and then my own dad, he was nuts back then. I think my Mom thought he would hit me or worse.'
As he spoke, Taylor reached out, his fingers wrapped around Chase's hand and he held it tightly. The touch of his hand around Chase's made him quiver a little, as he tried to figure it all out. He had never really thought about the 'what if's'. He had been too absorbed in his own pain to give more than a casual thought to what it might have been like for Chase.
'And after? You didn't even let me know you were leaving. I heard it from the gang at school. It was like you totally forgot about me.'
Taylor turned to stare at Chase. He saw tears running down his cheeks, and it hit him. What he had always dreamed of, hoped for, had always been there. Only he was too scared to realize it. How stupid could he have been?
He moved himself over, to let his body lean next to Chase. His heart was pounding as he brought his hand and Chase's, up to rest on his lap. Chase's hand suddenly held onto his tighter and he could hear the deep breathes of his friend, as he tried to regain his composure.
'I never forgot about you, Hell Chase, I even dream of you, from before I left, to even now.'
'Really? I can guess what kind of dreams those were.'
Chase suddenly leaned over, and rested his head just under Taylor's shoulder. Out of reflex, Taylor moved his arm up and over his friend, and held him close as Chase snuggled in closer. He could feel his warmth as he felt his body relax. It was more than he had ever hoped for, as he leaned towards Chase as well.
'I guess I never really thought it was possible Chase.'
'When we'd mess around, I used to wonder why you never said much, or tried to, you know, get uh, more, I mean, shit, you know what I mean.'
'Yeah, funny, I used to think that way about you too, then I'd think of the Priests at school, and wonder if I did do more, if you would run away, or get pissed and slug me, not like I couldn't take you or anything, but, well…'
'Oh right, you take me? Hell Taylor I could have kicked your ass with one hand behind my back, still can.'
Taylor looked down at Chase to see the sparkle had returned to Chase's eyes. He laughed as did Chase. Suddenly it was like nothing had really changed, and they sat there, holding each other and just simply enjoying the press of their bodies against the other.
Chase's hand slowly began to rub across Taylor's thigh and upper leg. He felt his muscles tingle and his body quiver at the soft caress of Chase's hand as he let the warm night breeze ease the tension in his mind. He sighed as he stroked the side of Chase's head, playing with the long soft hair that fell across his shoulder.
'Taylor? Uh… this sounds weird, but uh, you ever taken it up the ass yet?'
His hand stopped moving, as did Chase's. He looked down to see Chase staring everywhere but at him. He could feel the tension too, as Chase's body grew taut.
'No, no not yet. Mostly, I mean, so far, I have uh only uh, fuck, this is weird, but no, I haven't let anyone go there yet. You?'
'No, no one.'
'How come? I mean, you have messed around since, right?'
'Hell yes, I am no virgin, but I don't know, it just never seemed to feel right, I mean a few tried, but I wouldn't. It just, seemed like I wasn't ready for that, or for it to be them. You? I mean anyone try?'
'Yeah, some, but it just wasn't, same reason I guess.'
'We are a couple of weird queers, sucking cock and yet guarding our asses like sacred ground. Think we'd get our membership cards revoked or something.'
He laughed a little and looked at his friend. Taylor could see the glow, and he could feel his own desire becoming painful. His whole body was aching, and as he ran his finger down Chase's cheek, and then across his lips, he felt the soft press of the lips against the finger tips. Taylor sighed, feeling very comfortable with Chase in his arms.
'Truth is Chase, I didn't want just anyone to do it. I used to dream about what it would be like, to have a cock in my ass. Hell, I still do.'
'Then why didn't you?'
'Cause, well, they weren't you. Sounds silly, but Chase, it only made me want it, if I could imagine it being you. When I'd think of other guys doing it, it just didn't make me want it. Besides, we did so many things together, it just felt like, something like that, well, it should be you…'
Chase was silent and his hand had stopped caressing Taylor's leg. Then slowly he leaned up, and moved himself further up along Taylor's frame until his face was level with Taylor's. He looked into Taylor's face and smiled, as he bent his head forward and closed his eyes.
The press of Chase's lips on his mouth didn't surprise him and he opened his own mouth, as Chase let his tongue slowly move inwards. He pressed harder with his lips, while slowly tasting the insides of Taylor's mouth. He moaned as he wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him closer.
Even though his eyes were closed, Taylor could see flashes of light exploding across his vision. He moaned softly as he drank from Chase's mouth, swirling his own tongue across and under Chase's. It was like a deep drink after a hot long day.
His own hands moved down the front of Chase's body, touching and caressing the shivering body. His hand reached between the shirt and skin, and moved down. He could feel the muscles of Chase's belly rippling as he rubbed the hot skin with his hand. Taylor's mind was drifting off, almost as if he was reliving one of his many dreams about Chase. He groaned a little more as he felt Chase reach down, and push against his crotch. His cock was already hard as the hand moved across and over it.
The ache in his groin was growing, and he could feel his balls hurting too. The press of lips and mouth grew harder as they kissed. Chase would pull back, nibble on Taylor's lower lip and then suck on it, while Taylor would shake to the rolling sensations that it gave him. Then he would nip at the upper lip of Chase, sending those feelings right back at his friend.
Together they hung tightly to each other, kissing and touching, as if it was all new to them. Taylor could feel the beat of Chase's heart as his hand moved across it. He felt the sigh more than heard it, as his hand teased one of the firm nipples under Chase's open shirt.
The night grew dark as they held each other and kissed hard and often. Taking breaks to reach down and kiss or lick under the other's chin or against the exposed flesh of their chests. He would bite and tease the nipples, then pull back to feel Chase do it back to him. They laughed as they sighed, and he could feel the pain in his groin growing, just as he could feel Chase's own hard cock press eagerly against him.
Somehow they had managed to slide down, and lay prone on the hard dirt under the tree. The wind whistled through the heavy foliage of the tree, and the stars were beginning to show up in the sky, as Chase leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Taylor. His eyes were sparkling as he idly traced a pattern across Taylor's chest with his fingers.
Taylor opened his eyes to stare up at Chase. He saw the lips tremble a little as Chase looked back down at him. All he could feel though was a sense of joy that he never thought he would feel. The closeness, the scent of him only made him feel like he had just found the secret to eternal life. It was sappy to think of, but he couldn't deny the feelings he was having for Chase.
'I have a condom in my pocket.'
'I hope that means you want to use it'
'I do, uh, you have one in your pocket?'
'You want to use it?'
'I was hoping you would say that'
With that Chase leaned back down, and kissed Taylor again. He let his head move slowly downwards, kissing Taylor's body as his hand moved down, and began to unbutton the pants. Taylor sighed as he reached down, to take his condom out and put it where he could easily reach it. He had felt Chase already do that with his own, and he smiled, knowing that tonight they would both leave their special spot, having once more experienced something for the first time, together.
It was all just like his dreams had foretold him. Even the rustling leaves above were like he had dreamed as he felt his pants sliding off his body, his cock stretching at the fabric of his shorts.
Just like his dreams.