Finding my partner in life

The following days i skip school to overcome my ordeal or if i ever will , at first i thought at quiting school but Bruce convince me otherwise, but the memory keeps on playing back in my mind-the blurry memory as well as what Renz did to me. The two would possibly have a connection to each other since both are recurring in my dreams. Along those days Bruce would constantly text or contact me and visit me in order to help me pass through my problem and do my school works that i miss. I know he cares for me but sometimes i see the change in his face a troubled look or angry look that sometimes i feel bad for involving him in my predicament. I feel ashamed to have him with me cause i feel inadequate or unmatch to him that sometimes i feel i should let him go than to put him deeper in my troubled life. Those passing days just was not doing anything good to me cause i feel so alone and so out of place that i thought maybe it's better to be in a crowd. When the time i went back to school, i regress back to my original apperance and during that time pretty much people avoided me more than usual that made me think they probably knew what happened to me and curse myself. We were in the cafeteria when Bruce suddenly spoke to me "Hey L(short for love not for Louie since it is still a secret relationship), are you ok? You give off a gloomy feeling" I was shock and realize now what made them avoid me and spoke "I'm okay. Really I'm okay" chanting it over and over to reasure Bruce but more of myself then my vision became blurry and people are looking at me. Then Bruce pulled me away to a secluded area and hugged me. That is the time when my tears started falling and i hugged him back and said "Thank you, B(short for teddy bear cause he is cute like one). I d-don't know w-what i'd do w-without you and i'm s-sorry to p-put you in this s-spot" in sobs

"Shhh... It's okay. It's okay. You know i love you more than that even with this happened so stop crying cause i'll never leave you"

"i'm so happy that i met you and have you"

During class, there was something different with Renz, he was stealing glances throughout our class that made me feel uneasy. When it was end of class, he waited for me and pulled me in an empty room which made me shudder cause i think he will rape me again. I instinctively tried to get away from him and shouting at him "You BASTARD!!! was it not enough to rape me that day huh? What now?!!! You'll do me again?" and waited for his reply.

I heard a murmur and said "what? what did you say?"

"I said i'm sorry. okay i'm sorry"

"what? is that it i'm sorry? My very first is just worth a sorry. WOW!!! You just... grrrrr" and tried to leave.

He stopped me and said "Please wait! There is more"

"There is more? is there more humiliating thing to explain what you did?"

"The reason is i'm in love with you and new that now. That time i was confused and when i saw you looking like that, I-I just could not control myself"

"Love?!!! i can't believe you cause you know what you are straight and yah... possibly the reason would be your inhibitions in your lower region like any other jocks" and left him.

The next day of the first class, the same thing happened he was stealing glances but then in the middle of class he stood and walk to me. Everyone was looking at both at us and murmuring and the professor was making Renz to sit down so i felt very troubled and look him at the face. But when i look in his eyes, they were intense as if it is burning right through me and suddenly he shouted "I LOVE YOU!!! PLEASE BELIEVE ME I.LOVE.YOU" and kissed me in front of everyone. The class murmuring more then someone shouted "fagg" and the girls was angry at me for making Renz be like that. Renz suddenly shouted "Everyone shut the hell up and mind your own business" and look at them with a glare that made them silent. Renz went back to his sit and the class continued on but some looks both at me and Renz. Throughout all of that, i was just speechless and not moving cause i was confused as to what is happening to the guys that i made friends with. They were having feelings toward me while i'm still clueless as to what my feelings are toward Bruce if it is love and worst of all is a possibility i have feelings for Renz as well cause i felt something from that confession. The time slipped by then it was lunch time and had a meeting with Bruce but instead i went to the pool and text Bruce can't make it. Soon enough i got a text back but when i look, it was an unknown number then i read it...

"Do you still remember me cause i sure do, I miss all those times of our little 'fun' so i was wondering if we could continue were we left off. ^^"

After i read it, the image of that familiar person again and gave me a shiver so i erase the message and never replied. Bruce then texted me back with "ok be safe and make sure to contact me if you are in trouble". My thoughts were both of Bruce and Renz and much confused to everything that is happening. That night i recieved a text message and looked and was relieved that it came from my brother-in-law. The message said i need to go to my nephew's birthday cause he misses me and everyone was wondering why i was not visiting anymore. I texted back could i bring someone also and got an ok reply.

5 days passed and waited for Bruce to come so we could go together at my nephew's birthday. We took a taxi to my sister and brother-in-law's house and arrived at the door. I pushed the doorbell then was greeted by my brother-in-law so introduced Bruce as my friend and went inside. Throughout the party i greeted everyone-my family as my mother, father ans sisters, uncle, aunt, cousins,nephew and nieces along with my 2 sisters' boyfriends and introduce Bruce. I forgot to tell i'm the youngest and the only male child. When 2 hours has passed, there was a door bell and in came some guy i don't know but look very familiar then he greeted everyone as for me i was shocked cause everyone knew him except me and well Bruce. I followed the guy inconspicuously cause i can't get the feeling that i knew him and then suddenly i bump into my cosuin, Cindy and asked "Who is that guy over there?"

"You don't remember him?" I shook my head and look at the guy.

"Oh come on, Really?! He is our cousin. Remember... Christopher" at the mention of his name our eyes suddenly met.

Suddenly my head hurts, images came back to me but now more vivid, he first playfully forced masturbated me when i was 8 years old and he was 10 years older than me. As days passed he did more to me he licked my body while holding both my hands, he played with my ass by poking his fingers in, he made me suck him and much more perverted things. The last thing he did well almost did was when i was 12, he almost put his dick inside me but was stopped when fainted from such shear terror. I trembled and became wide-eye cause... you know from childhood the first crushes you get are your close relatives like cousins, he was mine but i never knew that cause i thought it was admiration till he did that to me that made me to be gay.

Christopher - 6'2" tall, got a bodybuilder body, the only playboy throughout the family. He got a child each to 3 women from all of the women he had. He got a divorce from his latest wife. The bad thing is not only was he my cousin, he was also my uncle cause my father is his half-brother while my mother and his father are siblings.

Cindy said "Louie, are you okay? You look pale... and trembling" She was about to grab me but it was too late, i fainted.

When i woke up, my family was beside me and we were at the hospital. My mother said "What happened? Are you okay, honey?" I nodded and started to sit up but when i saw Christ again at the door with a smirk. I screamed "B B B Please B answer me"

"Honey, mome is here"

"Bro, what is wrong?"

"Son, calm down"

I did not hear any of them but when i heard this words "L, I'm here" then i look at my side and saw him and hugged him with all my might. Everyone was calming me down but instead i made them leave me alone. When wveryone was leaving, i grabbed Bruce by the arm and said "stay". He smiled and sit beside me.

I had this fainting episodes and pretty much was screaming also at the hospital but no one got to calm me down except for sedatives so they put me to a psychiatrist/shrink. There was many sessions and everntually went well after and made me forget that memories. You know about confidentiallity between a shrink and his/her patient right? so till this very day my family does not know about that part of my life and would not want it to be known.