Fear, Love, and Hate

                                                                                                                                                     Nick

           “We need to get going soon if we wanna get your truck back to your mom.”

          -sigh- “Yeah I know”

          We quickly got dressed putting back on the same jeans we wore last night. Since they were dirty it didn’t matter if they got more so. I lent him a black wife beater to match my grey one, but he turned the over shirt down saying this felt just fine. By now my leg and throbbing body had turned to a dull ache and I was pretty happy which lessened the pain. We headed out to my car and when we got to the garage I caught him drooling over the Shelby. –Chuckle- He turns to me startled and I just climb in my car and put up the garage door. Once he is in and buckled up we head out, taking the same long path back to where his truck lay dead.

          We just relaxed listening to music with the windows down until we finally pulled up behind his truck. The old dirt roads out here were muddy as hell and we both tried not to slip and slide around. I grabbed my tool box out the trunk while he made his way and put up the hood on his truck. We worked for over an hour changing the spark plugs and giving the truck an overall tune-up that it needed badly. When he finally shut the hood and I started the truck it cranked right up and he beamed. That smile melted my heart a little, and even though I felt guilty for the feelings I was having I felt happier then I had in so long. He came around to the driver side and placed a soft kiss on my lips eliciting a small moan from somewhere in me that I don’t think I knew I had. Moving apart he pulled my left thigh and I slid out of the truck. Moving in the driver seat he said let’s get this over with, I’m hungry.

          Rolling down Route 3 cut off his house got closer and closer. Once we turned into the drive I could see his mother in a worn pair of jeans, boots, and tank top with a shawl over her shoulders pacing smoking a cigarette. He parked the truck and I parked behind him looking at the clock we were about 3 hours late and she looked every minute angry for those three hours. I could see now her eyes were blood shot and her face was red with anger.

          “Hey mom, the trucks running really…”

          “You worthless son of a bitch! Do you know how late I am! If you cost me money you mother fucker!”

          I go out of my car and she stopped and glared at me then my car and back at me. She took in every inch of me and it made a cold chill run up my back. She looked back at him and observed my wife beater. I like wife beaters they are comfortable, but all of mine are expensive, shrink resistant, with good breathability. Dean hadn’t paid it any mind not even a questioning glace, but his mother. She was a creature of a completely different kind. She took a drag off her cigarette.

          “So what boy, you made friends with a rich kid?! What you his pity case?! You think you’re better than this place now?!” Motioning around there run down but decent sized land.

          “Mam were just friends and…”

          “Shut the fuck up you bastard brat! I know exactly who you are, tell your father I said hi!”

          “Mom! That’s enough…”

          That hit me like a sack of bricks and I stumbled back slightly only saved from falling by my own car. How on earth did this woman know my father… I was interrupted by my thoughts by a scream. Deans scream. I looked up and could see her pulling a crumbled up cigarette away from him and him stumbling back away from her. She had burnt him and from the look on his face badly.

          “Get the fuck out of the way! And when rich boy don’t wanna play with trash no more don’t come crawling back here! Just as worthless as your father!”

          She spat the last sentence and it caused Dean to drop to his knees and hang his head. She got in the truck and sped off like she didn’t just hurt her son. Like this was as normal as saying ‘I’m going out for a spell and I’ll be back soon’. I ran over to Dean and dropped into the muddy dirt right in front of him pulling him into a hug. He placed his head on my shoulder and wept, which turned to cries which turned to screams. Violent and angry. I don’t know how long we sat on the ground like this. I told him I needed to see his arm; looking at it, it was far worse than I thought. She had burnt him and dragged the cherry leaving a long and angry looking line across his skin.

          “Fuck Dean we gotta get this fixed up. I got a first aid kit in my car, come on big man.”

          “Ok”

          We walked back to my car and I popped the trunk and let him sit on the lip while I tended his arm. Washing it off, disinfectant and pain killing spray, then cream, gauze, and bandage.

          “You’re pretty good at that you know.”

          “Yeah well you get good at patching yourself up with my dad. He gets even madder if he comes back and he can still see the bruises or wounds on you.”

          -sigh- “You’re gonna stay with me a few days, which room is yours and I’ll go get you some stuff.”

          “Don’t go in my house, it’s not like yours.”

          “I don’t care Dean, and I’m not letting you go inside alone.”

          “Remember I warned you.”

          He got up and we headed into the house. Front door screaming for WD40 as we went inside. The first thing that hit me was the violent smell of smoke followed by the overpowering scent of weed. It made my eyes water and once they were clear I looked around and followed Dean down the hallway to the right. The house was a wreck: boards coming up, bugs, mice, mold, holes in the walls, water damage. You name it and it was probably wrong in this house. I followed him into his room which was the best part of the house. It was painted dark blue and was immaculate compared to the rest of the house. I was in shock I’d only seen things like this on TV or in horror movies. I couldn’t believe Dean had to live like this. I began to smell smoke and it pulled back into the moment. Deans back was to me and he was smoking. I had no idea he smoked never a taste or smell or anything. It’s especially strange since he lives in his mom’s personal smoke factor.

          “You can leave now. I know you’re too nice a guy to say it. So I’m giving you the out. I won’t turn and look at you, I’ll just let you back out and leave now and this will never have happened.”

          I couldn’t speak, once again he had rendered my words useless. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him tight against me. Being just that little bit taller I could rest my chin comfortably on his shoulder. I didn’t speak I just held him. My right hand moved up until it was around his chest and he leaned back into me, placing his nonsmoking hand on top of mine. He continued to take drag after drag as his hands trembled. Once it was done he dropped it on the floor and stepped on it. We just stood. We didn’t speak or try and pull away for a long while. Finally feeling as calm as one can he grabbed an old army duffle bag and began to put cloths in it. He grabbed his toiletries and a cross hanging over his bed on a really expensive looking silver chain. It stood out against the contrast of the room and especially the house. He grabbed a pair of flip flops and put them in the bag and finished it off with a small tin box and three books from the shelf including his bible.

          “Just in case I don’t come back here I wanted to get the things that matter to me.”

          He took my hand, slung the bag over his shoulder and we walked out of the house. I prayed in my head as I turned to give it one more look that I’d never have to bring him back here.

Dean

          I was so overwhelmed. My mind rattled on and on and on with no end in sight as we walked outside. I put my bag in the trunk and closed it, noticing that Nick was on the passenger side. Tossing me the keys he go in and closed the door. I stood looking at the keys for a long time until I finally opened the door and got inside.

          “What’s this?” I asked questioningly.

           “You can drive; I’m not feeling up to it right now.”

          He smiled at me. He was sweet. He was trying to make me feel better and I didn’t deserve it. I was thinking he’d be long gone by now when I gave him the chance. Any of the girls would have been, hell they wouldn’t have stuck around long enough or kept me around long enough to even know I was struggling. Nick pulled me out of my head saying he was hungry and let’s head to the Angry Bull. I blinked at him in shock that he would go to a place like that. I loved it, but Nick? The Angry Bull was part bar, part pool hall, and part steak house. It was a frequent for truckers, drunks, and good ol boys and party girls looking for a good time out. The drawback was, if you were eating or drinking it was expensive and the bills could total 60.00 or more within minutes. I opened my mouth to protest and he just spun his finger around giving the sign to lets go. 

          Shaking my head I pulled the car forward, put the windows down and just drove. It was warm out and the air felt amazing. Driving this fancy car one hand on the wheel and one hand over his hand which sat on my knee. It was perfect. He reached in my pocket and pulled out my smokes. Cheap Paul Mall Red 100’s. He took two out and lit them, placing one in my mouth and keeping the other one he began to smoke. Now it was perfect and just couldn’t help but to laugh. I smoke and drove the whole way with one hand as the other hand never left his hand fingers now intertwined with mine. I never wanted this moment to end.

          All too soon we came up on the Angry Bull and had to release our grasp. He told me to pull around back so that no one would see his car. Reaching behind him he grabbed a black cap and put it over his hair and down slightly over his eyes. He looked so damn hot right now. We got out of the car and went inside. Grabbing a booth we sat down and a very perky and pretty waitress came right up with a low cut shirt to take our orders.

          “Yall are two of the best looking boys in this whole place tonight, I really got lucky.” –wink-

          -laughing- “Well thanks darling, I think were the lucky one’s. Could you grab us two beers and two orders of the skins (loaded potato skins) please?”

          He was giving her his best seductive smile and I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. But two could play at this game, I wasn’t a slouch in the looks or girls department before this either.

          “Two skins coming up, but I’ll need some ID’s for the beer sweeties.”

          “ We’ve been working all day on my family’s truck trying to get it back up to shape, I could really use a beer right now darling.”

          I was giving her my bad boy / tragic heart act and added extra drawl on darling.

          “Awww you’re such a good friend to help him and you’re a good son… ok boys but yall better behave and be good to me tonight.”

          We both gave her million dollar smiles and she turned so red and ran off to the bar to place our order.

          “Well look at you Mr sexy voice.”

          “Oh like your one to talk Mr sexy eyes.”

          We both laughed and got our beers and skins. We drained the first two beers and our waitress whose name was Holly had placed two more on the table with a wink. Nick ordered us both fried chicken, mac and cheese with bacon, and fried okra. I could feel drool forming in my mouth and I’m surprised it didn’t land on the table. I had never eaten here before because of the prices, but know I see why people pay for it. These skins were amazing. Over the course of the meal we laughed and told stupid stories and even convinced Holly to take a seat and have fun with us stealing one of our skins in the process. It was a great time. As the night wore on and we finished our meal Nick got the check and paid without showing me how much it was and we just hung back sipping on our beers and occasionally teasing Holly about the over eager and over aged men flirting with her.

          “Look I asked you not to touch me, it’s not a hard request! Or are you too stupid to understand English!” –smack-

          “Little bitch with a big mouth!”

          Nick and I both jumped up to run to Holly’s aid. The beer gut with a head was walking over to her. She flung her foot out connecting squarely with his balls which was followed by a howling scream of agony. Swinging the little tray she connected with his head hard enough to crack it. Two of his buddies had come to investigate and looked at Holly with the most unsettling gaze. Nick pushed one and I blocked the other.

          “Move boy! Before I have to hurt you!”

          When neither of us flinched they came at us. Stepping to the side an uppercut connected squarely to this Neanderthals jaw sending him to the floor. Nick had hit the other guy in the gut twice and then socked him squarely across the chin. We looked at each other for a minute. He looked so sexy in that moment, so manly. Hat hiding his eyes and making his blond hair curl around its edges, button down flung open and grey wife beater tight on his skin. The slightest bit of sweet moving down the light dusting of chest hair that was visible. Eyes shining with adrenaline. I couldn’t help but to lick my lips. –Crash- We both jumped and turned around fists raised at the loud sound only to see the original man fall to the ground with a thud as Holly held up a metal serving platter replacing the now useless plastic one. We both looked at her wide eyed as she flipped her hair and announced to the crowd she’d be here all week and then with a bow said but I’m done for the night. The regulars in the bar applauded the three of us and clapped us on the back as the bar tender and head waitress came to make sure Holly was ok.

          “Wow you two young strapping men really helped us out tonight. Thank you. Here take this card and come back and have a free meal with beers on me.”

          “Wow mam we couldn’t accept this, we would do it again if we had to, the only decent thing to do.”

           “I agree, no need to worry yourself with us. I’m just glad we were here to help. But by the looks of how good Holly is with a serving tray or two she might not have needed us. “

          “And don’t you forget it!”

          Laughing “Well that Holly is something else, but I must insist. It’s only in good manners to properly thank someone who has helped us out. You wouldn’t refuse this request coming from a lady now would you boys?”

          Blushing we both agree’d and headed back to our table to finish our night until standing in front of us was an armed and pissed off looking but still handsome cop.

          “Oh fuck.” I whispered under my breath. I could feel Nick looking at me, but I couldn’t move.