Falling from earth

During middle school, I was always the kid who never really fit into a group, but found himself in many nevertheless. Even though I mever really truly fit in, I was in sports, drama, choir, etc. I was very involved in school, but had a hard time dealing with myself deep down. There were people around, but I felt alone. I was inside myself, seeing the walls, but never being able to bring them down.

This continued to my freshman year of high school, where I'd found a group of friends, and stuck with them. But still, I felt secluded and isolated. I wasn't much to look at. At about 5'9, and sporting a good build from athletics, I had a head ash blonde hair which I always kept short on the sides. The top was kept longer and I styled it to my heart's content. It was around this time I became scared of my unusual liking to guys, so I quit the football team and wrestling, but stuck with swimming and track. I was struggling so much that I didn't know how to deal with it. I started to cry in my sleep, and in the shower at home, I'd take my nails and dig them into my skin, leaving big claw marks on my chest and stomach.

I also began to have body issues, and being in swimming, I felt exposed and ugly.  I swam fast and tried to forget about the eyes that burned with the judgement of others. All the hate was washed away by the water, and when I'd stop, I didn't care if I'd won. I'd seen the clarity and beauty of the water and know I'd be able to race in the breathtaking water again. As long as I got to relive that awakening moment, I didn't care about what time I got.

But it wasn't long until someone noticed the marks appearing on my body. I'd run out of excuses, and confided in my coach what I had done to myself. To my horror, she called my mom, who came from work and picked me up.

The ride was deathly silent. Her body language seemed normal, but her eyes were trembling and screaming with tears and fright. I saw fear, and I was scared of what she now actually thought of me. We reached our tiny home, and she told me to wait in the living room for her.

I sat there, and she emerged thirty minutes later, eyes red, puffy, and concerned. She sat beside me and asked why I'd done everything. She seemed lifeless and her eyes were almost dark and drooping with despair. She begged for an explanation why her baby, her sweet child, was wanting to hurt himself. I could only sit in silence as she pleaded with me now, asking what she did wrong, her voice trembling with agony. I couldn't take anymore, and I looked her in the eyes, and grabbed her hands.  I told her everything, from my loneliness to the inside of me being empty. I even mentioned my liking toward guys. I couldn't help but let out that I worried about her health, with her three jobs, and me not being able to do anything to help. She burst into tears, and we talked for what seemed like hours until we made the decision to not keep things from each other any longer. What I didn't know, was that Mom was hiding something from me deep down. Something that would change my entire life forever.

After all this, I started to see the school's counselor every week to try and improve my attitude towards myself. When I'd go, she'd ask questions about school and home, and then we gossiped like housewives about people at school. One day going to her office, I saw Leo. I've always liked him...he's been nice to me since I met him. He and his mothers moved to town. Yes. Plural mothers. He was very handsome in my eyes. He had big arms, nice hieght, and his legs were nice and trimmed. About 6'1, he was a broad shouldered guy with silver hair and grey-white eyes in the sunlight. The strange color was due to a birth trauma and a genetic disorder. I found it all very attractive, but he didn't like all too much. He said it drew attention to him, which he hated. I couldn't care less about his appearance, though he smiled like the world  around him was filled beautiful flowers. He looked at me with the most lovely gaze, like he saw something I obviously didn't. I smiled at him and got the same from him he said a quick "hi" to me and headed out of the office. The counselor appeared out of no where and smiled broadly at me making me blush hard as I scampered out of the office.

Just seeing leo made me grin for the rest of the day, even on the way home. I was singing and smiling on my walk to my home. When I got inside, I saw Mom had been home for a little, and had attempted to clean, but fell asleep on the couch. I put her in bed, and cleaned our apartment for her while working on my homework. Once I was done, I decided to go to the library for some books to read. Maybe this day is going to be really good one..

I woke up around 5 A.M and looked at the ceiling, deciding if I wanted to go for a run or not. I eventually decided to get up and get dressed, seeing as it was 6:15. If I hurried I could get in a good run for the day. I stop by the mirror in my room, seeing the light scars left by my most recent episode. I scowled at my reflection, with the image flooding into my mind of me laying in the bathroom,  bleeding heavily onto the floor. I shook my head back and forth, trying to get the picture out of my mind. My shirt went over my head, and I was gone, rushing out like I was running from a fire. I knew I had  limited time before I had to be home, so I went as fast as I could, putting in my drug store headphones, and shoving my MP3 in my pocket. Forget phones, this thing's batteries are much better. I took off running down the street towards the bike path, and as I neared the bike path, I saw Leo taking a rest under a gazebo. I tried to not make it obvious that I was looking,  but I guess I wasn't quick enough. He got up and greeted me

"Hey, Aristotle," said Leo.

"What's up Lionel?"

"Don"t call me that, please? Just call me Leo, please bud."

He called me bud. I blush deep red and turn away.

"Sure...Leo, what are you doing anyway?" I asked nervously.

He looked at me and said "Resting for a little."

It was weird for him to be so far away from his house this early, but I discarded it.

"You going for a run Aristotle" Leo said

"If I have to call you Leo please call me ari"I said

"Oh?" He paused "I thought you hated when people called you that" Leo said

"I....I do" I blushed hard "but I wouldn't mind if you called me it"

He seemed surprised then his face opened up and he laughed saying " ok then ari you wanna join me for the rest of my run?"

"Umm sure if I can keep up"

I took one more look at him before saying goodbye, and taking off in a good sprint. I got about four miles in before I started to become aware of the time. The sun was rising and I began the trek home saying a quick bye to Leo (I'll never get used to that), stopping at a local coffee shop. With the little money I had left, I took home a carmel frappe. Taking a jog speed home, I walk into our apartment and go to the kitchen, making some eggs and toast for Mom. I know if I didn't she'd forget, and wouldn't eat until dinner. Finishing up, I hopped in the shower and again stopped at the mirror.

I see my reflection and see the new muscle and my soggy hair. My eyes drift to my scars, and everything faded. Upon seeing the damage, the voice started to speak in my mind.

"nO oNe WiLl EveR LoVE YoU, yOu'Re tOo DamAGeD."

It blasted loudly in my head and became too much to bear. I grabbed my razor, making quick work to break it open and get the blade out. I put it to my throat, moving it across the thin layer of skin. I come to my senses suddenly,  and see what I'm doing to myself.  My loud, pained scream rang down the hall, causing Mom to come and knock on the door asking:

"What's wrong, hun?"

I reply a little too quickly with the ususl: "I slipped shaving and cut my throat. It startled me...That's all, don't worry."

Reluctantly, she went away to continue her day. I cleaned up the cut gently, and smiled when I saw it was only a little scratch. Ignoring it with a simple Bandaid, I got dressed in a Paramore shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and pale, blue jeans. All the clothes adorning my body were gifts from friends at the police station, where I volunteeted. I styled my hair to the side, and pushed up, seeing as I kinda looked like Scott Hoying.

I may have spent a lot of time in the mirror that day, checking for any slight flaws. I wanted to look perfect...for my first day at high school.

there was no point in staring in the mirror any longer it was a long walk to school from our apartment so if I wanted to not be late on my first day of high school I had to book it. I walked out where mom was sitting at the table eating leaving before she could offer me any I never made any food for myself just enough to feed her and that's all it helped with groceries costs. my muscle helped me hide the skinniness from people but at school, i get free breakfast and lunch I didn't tell a lot of people cause most hate the freebies like me. I didn't want trouble so I hid it. on my way to school as I was nearing I thought about Leo and meeting him was odd but chocked it up to coincidence and kept walking singing a little to keep my mind busy.

I saw the school as I got closer it was pretty big but mostly due to all the sports it accommodated and its art program. the football field was huge and very nice and I heard the auditorium was extremely gorgous. I went inside and fallowed the signs to the office I needed to pick up my schedule and talk to the lady about any possible openings in clubs or councils. I was looking down when  I saw a pair of legs stop in front of me I looked up and it was Leo! "good morning ari" Leo said smiling brightly

he was smiling so big his teeth were showing and everything I made a half-hearted reply I don't remember as he asked what I was doing           "I'm going to the office to get my schedule lional"I said

"what did i say about calling me that dude" Leo said

"oh sorry leo"          

"well if you want your schedule your gonna have to wait for a little there's a line forming"

I sighed people always cut in front of me in lines so even if I waited in line id still be the last one I might as well guess what my first class was. Leo bent down to my ear and said

"come with me"

and he took my hand and led me towards the back entrance to the office but only administrators were allowed to use this I was worried but he looked calm as he opened the door and walked through with me coming close behind.he came to stop at the office of the police officer  of the school and I looked at him strangely as he opened the door inside was a fish tank, posters of drug freeness, monitors, and a big cabinet on the back wall. Leo proceeded to say

"YO officer joe was up!"

" nothing much hows my favorite trouble maker doing"

" just great thanks, joe I need a favor though"

I sat back flabbergasted how did they know each other so soon ITS THE FIRST DAY!!

"I assume it has something to do with the kid who might drop at any minute hahaha"

"oh yea ari this is joe he used to watch me when I was young and my parents weren't home he never left me alone he's like a father to me!" said Leo

"awe shucks kid I love you too so what you need" said joe

"ari here needs his schedule but there's a huge line to get it for him please"

"sure thing kid I need your full name ok kid?" said joe

"Ummm ok its aristotle amore lingo" leos eyes got a little wide at hearing me say my full name but quickly went back to normal as joe typed and printed my sceduale. he printed it handing it to me saying

"everything requested has been met it says and your free lunch should be in effect in three days ok?"

I became aware of what he said quickly forgetting leos presence in the room asking what he meant by that

"you were supposed to be notified that this would not take in effect until three days into the school you were supposed to receive a phone call" he replied.

our house phone was disconnected due to a lack of funds in our account. what was I supposed to do I thanked him and took my leave Leo close behind......LEO!! I turn quickly and plead

"please don't tell anyone that I get free lunch please lional ill do anything please!!"

he nealed down and said

"hay didn't i tell you to call me leo and I don't care about the free lunch thing ill keep it to myself I promise now don't you have first period to go to"

he winked and patted me on the head leaving with a sweet smile I laughed a little thinking how nice of a guy he is. now to go to first-period honors English

I walked in the class tentatively trying to not make the class aware of my presence the teacher  greeted the class as she started talking about the class and how she'd be giving out a test to see where we were

"now the test while not going to be graded is gonna let me know where the class stands there's some high-level stuff so don't be afraid to answer incorrectly"she said

the class sighed collectively as the teacher handed out the tests. I got mine and looked it over it seemed pretty straight forward as I began to fill in my answers. the test wasn't too hard I thought she was being serious about it being hard but I guess she was going easy on us for now.

"the rest of the hour is yours ill have the results by the end" she stated

the bell soon was rung and everyone grabbed their tests and left when the teacher spoke up

" Ari can I see you for a moment please" scared I went up to her

"now I'd like you to empty your pockets for a phone please"

I did so explaining that I didn't own a phone she was astounded she excitedly signs

" mister, you got a perfect on that test and I got it from the next grade level honors class"

I blushed deep red and thanked her for the compliment

" id like to move you to the sophomore honors class tomorrow instead of this one you'd be more challenged there ill make all the arrangements right now!!"  before I could get a word in she left and I went to my next class.

the rest of the day went by fine with my schedule looking quite nice with

1.english 10 honors

2.algabra 1

3.ap painting

4.culinary arts

5.us history

6.health-lunch and finally

7.photography(Leo's in there!!)

the day was over and it was time for me to go home. I walked home happy even a little bounce in my step I neared home and took my key out and opened the door looking around as I walk in I see mom laying her head down on the kitchen table I go to her side and shake her a little to wake her. she doesn't move I shake again nothing I pick to head up and see blood coming from her mouth and eyes there's not a lot but I freak out feeling dizzy I stumble to the door and run to the neighbors banging on the door a man looking quite angry answered I screamed for him to call the police that mom needed an ambulance and quick begging him please he called to someone and told them to call as he put his arms around me and tried to calm me down.

I drop and I cry into this stranger's arms

"that's my mommy please don't let her die I need her she's all I have left, i say between sobs in shaking violently and by the time the police arrive I'm incoherently sobbing in the man's arms still