Evan

“What the fuck?” Jake screamed.

The look on his face was a mixture of rage, sadness and disgust. His eyes moved from Tyler to me and back again.

“Jake, let me explain,” I said, reaching out for him.

“Don’t fucking touch me you little queer,” Jake spat, jumping backwards.

I felt like he’d punched me with that comment.

“Jake…” I whimpered, sounding pathetic.

“Listen… Jake…” Tyler said, his voice trembling with nerves.

“Don’t talk to me. Don’t you fucking dare talk to me,” Jake ordered. He turned to me. “Tyler? TYLER? I knew you were fucking someone, but really HIM?”

I was petrified but I tried to sound like I was calm. “Yes. Look, Jake…”

“Are you fucking insane?”

“Jake…”

“You think he cares about you? He’ll fuck anything that moves, guy or girl. What? Do you think you’re going to be together? Do you think you’re more than just the next piece of cheap ass on his growing list?”

“You’re one to talk,” Tyler said, getting defensive. “Look at what you’re fucking.”

Jake clenched his fist and looked ready to charge. I quickly put myself between them, momentarily stopping any advances. Jake just looked past me, staring a hole in Tyler.

“You stay the fuck away from him,” Jake demanded.

“Why? Because you think he belongs to you and you can’t stand the thought that I got him first?” Tyler said, almost mockingly.

I wasn’t sure if he was just saying that because his back was against a wall or if he was actually gloating like I feared he would before I ever had sex with him.

“He’s not some trophy for you to win,” Jake snapped.

“No, he’s not,” Tyler said. “I never thought of him as some kind of prize. Think what you will but I actually like him. I don’t know what’s bugging you more though, Jake… That he’s with me or that he’s with anyone but you…”

“Fuck you!” Jake said, taking a swing at Tyler over my head. I barely managed to duck, still reeling over the fact that Tyler wasn’t denying he had been with me and may be gay.

“No, come on,” Tyler said, stepping right up to my back so they were almost within touching distance. “You’ve got such a big fucking ego that you can’t stand anyone else getting close to something you think of as yours. Ev told you he loved you and you treated him like shit. Did you expect him to just curl up into a ball and cry himself to sleep at night because he couldn’t be with you? You thought if he was never with you then he’d never be happy? The world doesn’t revolve around you, Jake, and it doesn’t revolve around me. I can make Ev happy. That’s what you can’t stand.”

“No,” Jake protested. “I can’t believe he’d fall for your bullshit. You don’t care about him. You’ll drop him the second someone new or more exciting comes along. You always do.”

“Why do you even care? If Ev’s never going to be with you, why do you care that he’s with me?”

“Because he’s my friend,” Jake said.

“Yeah, but just a friend,” Tyler said. “We can both have him.”

“Like fuck we can,” Jake said, disgusted. He looked into my eyes and then stepped back. “Choose.”

“What?” I asked, taken aback.

“Choose,” Jake repeated. “Either come with me and leave this asshole here. Or stay and find yourself a new best friend.”

I just stared at Jake, not believing that he was giving me an ultimatum.

“You can’t be serious?” I asked. Jake looked stunned. “You expected me to just choose you? After everything that’s happened these last few weeks? Tyler’s been there for me when it should have been you, Jake.”

Jake hesitated and then in a weak voice asked, “Why him? Of everyone you could have chosen to fuck your horny little ass why did it have to be him?” Jake asked.

“Because I like him,” I said. I could tell Jake wasn’t convinced so I decided to go for broke. “And you turned me down.”

“You’re blaming me?” Jake laughed. “You couldn’t have me so you started fucking Tyler?”

“Yes,” I shot back, “because he’s every bit as hot as you are.”

“I can’t do this,” Jake said. “I need to get out of here.”

Jake started toward the door.

“Jake,” Tyler pleaded. “Wait…”

“Why? Are you scared I’m gonna tell all of your adoring fans that you’re just a big cocksucking whore? They deserve to know. In fact, I’m gonna tell everyone about it now.”

“You can’t!” I cried.

“Why the fuck not?” Jake demanded. “To protect him?”

“No, to protect me,” I said. I could see Jake was confused and Tyler was a little too. “Tyler’s a jock. Like you said his buddies will probably just think of me as another conquest, another notch on his belt. They’ll give him a high five and a pat on the back. Me? I’ll be the queer who let the quarterback fuck him. I’ll be the filthy cocksucker who corrupted their hero. I might as well just die.”

“For fucking him maybe you deserve it,” Jake said.

He moved for the door again. Tyler raced across the room and grabbed Jake by the arm, pulling him away from the door. Jake used the momentum as he spun around, clocking Tyler with a punch that sent him sprawling to the ground.

Tyler lay on the floor, stunned, staring up as Jake strode over to him and bent down ready to punch him again. Now it was my turn to jump in.

“Don’t,” I commanded as I grabbed Jake’s arm to stop him from pummelling Tyler.

There was fire in Jake’s eyes when he turned his head to look at me. “You’re actually going to stop me from giving this piece of shit what he deserves?”

“Please Jake. He’s done nothing wrong,” I argued.

“Nothing wrong?” Jake laughed.

“To me,” I said, “To me. He didn’t force himself on me. I wanted him.”

“But he’s a bully, a user and pervert,” Jake shot back.

“Then what am I?” I asked.

“A slut!”

Before I even knew what I was doing I swung my fist and connected with Jake’s cheek, punching him right in the face, knocking him sideways.

Unlike Tyler, Jake jumped back to his feet and charged at me. He rammed his shoulder right into my midsection, almost picking me off my feet as he tackled me into the wall. Fighting the pain that surged through my body, I pushed back and we stumbled, crashing into the sinks.

Jake’s arms wrapped around me and I feared he was going to use his power to hurt me so I spun around and kicked his legs out from under him. As he fell he grabbed just enough of my shirt to drag me down with him and I slammed hard into the floor beside him.

I had just pushed myself up to my hands and knees when I felt Jake on my back. He took one of my arms in his hand and raised it up while he threw his legs around me and tightened his grip. My whole side was exposed and his fist crashed into my ribs, driving all of the air out of me.

I crumpled to the floor, trying to breathe, when the pressure was suddenly gone from my body. For a moment I thought Jake had made his point and had enough but then my eyes focused and I saw that Tyler had pulled Jake off me and they were now fighting; not the wrestling kind of fighting but a true slugfest brawl, throwing rights and lefts, aiming for each other’s faces.

“Stop,” I begged as I got to my feet and stumbled over to them.

“Stay out of this,” Jake demanded, pushing me away.

“This has been a long time coming,” Tyler said, pushing me backwards as he spat blood out of his mouth from where Jake’s fist had split his lip. His shirt was torn too.

I forced myself between them and tried to push them apart.

“Stop fighting,” I pleaded. “Neither one of you comes out of this a winner.”

“You’re just worried I’m going to mess up your boyfriend’s pretty face,” Jake said.

“And you’re jealous that I am his boyfriend,” Tyler said, shocking me. “You couldn’t step up and take what you wanted. I did.”

Tyler spun me around and planted a hard kiss on my lips.

The contact can’t have lasted for more than a couple of seconds when I was physically thrown aside by Jake and my lips were replaced by his fist, slamming into Tyler’s mouth.

Tyler charged Jake, the two huge bodies colliding with an almost deafening slap as Jake’s bare skin met Tyler’s from where his shirt had been ripped open during the tussle. I watched in horror as the two crashed through the bathroom door and spilled out into the hall.

I ran to the door and watched the two writhe around on the floor in front of a growing crowd of students. I can only imagine what they thought, seeing Jake without his shirt and Tyler with his ripped wide open, their faces bloody, rolling around on the ground trying to land punches on the other’s body wherever possible.

Rushing toward them I grabbed hold of Jake who had managed to end up on top, almost pinning Tyler down, though he was still fighting back hard, swinging for Jake’s face. I wrapped my arms around his chest and tried to pull him backwards but he fought against me. Suddenly I felt myself falling as Tyler shifted his weight, took the advantage and rolled Jake over onto his back.

“Stop it!” I screamed.

They didn’t listen to me, if they even heard me, they just kept throwing punches, constantly vying for the upper hand.

Seeing no alternative I tackled Tyler so he fell to the side from his position on top of Jake, but that still didn’t stop them. They reached out and clawed at each other. But because Jake’s body was no longer pinned under Tyler’s weight it gave him the chance to pounce.

“What the hell is this?” I heard a teacher shout from somewhere down the hall. The next time he spoke his words were louder. “Break it up.”

Hands were then pulling at Jake, trying to drag him backwards, away from Tyler and me. They managed to get him a few feet away when Tyler charged, knocking Jake and the three people holding him to the ground in a heap, and then he was on Jake again, hammering down on Jake’s face.

Suddenly three of Tyler’s football teammates rushed over to him. Two of them each grabbed one of Tyler’s arms and the other wrapped his arms around Tyler’s chest, dragging him back and away from Jake. That still didn’t stop him though as Tyler kicked out, catching Jake in the ribs.

The teacher and two students who had been holding Jake helped him up but didn’t keep a tight enough grip on him because he raced back across the hall and launched himself at Tyler, flying through the air so he tackled the four football players at almost neck height and they all crashed to the ground.

I sat on the floor watching the brawl. It was unbelievable. I knew the two hated each other, but I never thought it would come to this and I never dreamed I would be the catalyst that would cause the explosion.

Three or four more teachers and a whole group of students quickly joined in, grabbing Jake or Tyler and pulling them apart, putting as many bodies between them as possible.

Emily appeared at my side, putting her arm around my shoulder and helping me to my feet just as the Principal appeared, his deep voice booming through the hall.

“Take those three to my office now!” He commanded, pointing at Jake, Tyler and me. “And if any of you try or say anything else you will be expelled on the spot. Do you hear me?”

I could only nod, still in Emily’s arms, as I watched the Principal walk away. A group of people dragged Tyler down the hall after him while another group pushed Jake in the opposite direction, both corridors leading back toward the huge Principal’s office.

Once we were in the Principal’s office suite we were separated. Tyler went into the office first and they put Jake in a little room off to the side that I think was some kind of staff room so they wouldn’t see each other when Tyler came back out. Because I was calm they just let me sit on the seats outside the office with Emily beside me, checking on the cut on the back of my head from when Jake had pushed me.

“What the hell was that fight about?” Emily asked when we were finally left alone. “They’ve wanted to kick each other’s ass for years but never done it. Why now?”

“Because Jake caught me kissing Tyler,” I said.

“He caught you?” Emily asked, sitting up straight on her chair.

“Jake and I went into the bathroom to get away from Tyler because he was worked up after the drink got spilt on him, which was an accident, even if Tyler made out like it wasn’t. We were talking and…”

“And what?” Emily asked, looking into my eyes when I didn’t continue.

“Jake kissed me,” I admitted.

“He kissed you?!” she squealed.

“I kind of goaded him into it, but yeah, he kissed me. Then he pulled back, pushed me and left. That’s when Tyler came in, saw me on the floor, helped me up and kissed me. Then Jake came back in wanting his clean shirt.”

I told Emily the rest of what happened up until the point she joined me in the hall as Jake and Tyler were being pulled apart.

“Why didn’t Jake tell everyone?” Emily asked. “He hates Tyler. I thought the first chance he got to take him down he would.”

“Probably because I begged him not to tell anyone,” I said. “As bad as it could be for Tyler it would be even worse for me.”

“Yeah… All the girls who love him would want to slap you and all the guys would want to kill you,” Emily agreed. “Do you really think that’s why he didn’t say anything?”

“What else could it be?” I asked.

“Do you think he still cares about you?” Emily asked.

“I know he does,” I said. “I just don’t know in what way. He tells me he’s not interested, that he’s not gay and nothing will ever happen, but then he kisses me and touches me like he wants me. I just want him to make up his mind. I need to know.”

Before Emily could say anything the door to the Principal’s office opened and Tyler was marched out, escorted by a teacher. His head was hung but he looked up just long enough to make eye contact with me and the tiniest hint of a smile lifted the corner of his mouth.

“You can let me go now, I’m fine,” Tyler said to the teacher who was guiding him toward the exit of the office by his elbow.

“You heard the Principal,” the teacher replied, tugging on Tyler’s arm. “I’m to walk you all the way to your car. Then you’re going to get in it and go straight home as you agreed with your father.”

I wanted to say something, to ask Tyler what had happened, but I knew I couldn’t with the teacher there. I pulled out my phone just quick enough for Tyler to see before he was escorted out of the room.

Tyler was barely out of the door when the Principal appeared in his doorway. I felt my stomach tighten as he looked at me. “Are you okay waiting a bit longer until I’ve spoken with Jake, Evan?”

I nodded and watched as he made a motion to the teachers guarding Jake in the other room. They immediately led him into the Principal’s office, closing the door behind them.

Emily and I sat quietly, trying to hear anything that was said, expecting raised voices that never came. Jake had been in the office for maybe two minutes when I felt my phone vibrate and looked down to see a message from Tyler.

“Suspended for the rest of the week. Told them it was all because of the drink. Hope Jake does the same. They wanted me to see the school nurse for my lip but fuck that. Going home. Talk later. With Joe. X”

I let Emily read the message and she looked at me like she was expecting a reaction.

“What?” I asked.

“Joe’s bunked off to go home with him,” she said. “Do you think they’ll go fuck at his house now they’ve got the afternoon off?”

I laughed, “Is sex all you think about?”

“Not all…” she winked at me and we both laughed.

A few minutes later Jake came out of the office and walked straight past us, almost charging out of the office with a teacher beside him. He looked so pissed off I was scared of what he might do and just hoped he didn’t do something stupid.

After another couple of minutes I was ushered into the office. Emily had to stay outside. The Principal explained that fighting was unacceptable in any form. He said that while no one had seen me throw a punch I had joined in by tackling Tyler instead of letting the teachers handle it and that judging by the blood in my hair and the marks on my right hand there had been some unseen punches thrown, even if Tyler and Jake both defended me. Because of that he couldn’t be seen to condone my actions and therefore would have to suspend me for the rest of the week, just like he had Jake and Tyler. It was a formal warning and another incident could result in expulsion.

As he went on I found out that Jake hadn’t said anything about catching Tyler and I kissing, he just put it down to building tensions that finally erupted after Tyler threw the drink in the cafeteria, accident or not. I breathed a sigh of relief but had no idea why he was protecting us still.

Finally the Principal informed me that he had called Tyler and Jake’s parents to inform them of the fight and our suspensions, both of whom had said they would deal with their sons when they got home from work. He asked if my parents would be home since that was the only number the school had on file but I told him they were both at work and I didn’t know the numbers. As he was trying to decide what to do I told him Ryan was at home and after a brief conversation Ryan agreed to come get me.

Back outside I greeted Emily with a hug and told her Ryan was coming. The teacher who had first seen the fight and had been in the Principal’s office for all three discussions told Emily it was time for her to go back to class so I kissed her on the cheek and watched her leave. Then I was taken out to the parking lot to wait on Ryan. When he pulled up he had the biggest smile on his face.

“Suspended?” Ryan grinned through mock disgust as I climbed into the passenger seat beside him.

“Nothing you didn’t do,” I said.

“I know, but you’re a good little boy. I never expected this,” Ryan said.

“So you never expected two guys to be fighting over me?” I smiled.

“What?” Ryan asked.

As we drove out of the parking lot, heading towards home, I told Ryan the whole story of what had happened with him jumping in every now and then, asking for more details.

“Fuck, bro, I can’t believe that. What do you think it means?”

“Fuck knows!” I laughed.

“Are you gonna text Tyler?” Ryan asked.

“Why?”

“To tell him he’s in the clear,” Ryan said.

“Is he though?” I asked. “Just because Jake didn’t tell the Principal what the fight was about doesn’t mean he won’t tell other people. I need to talk to him.”

“Yeah, well not right now you don’t,” Ryan said. “I don’t need Jake beating the shit out of you too.”

“Do you think he would?” I asked.

“Trust me, Ev. He needs time to cool down. The last thing you want to do is provoke an extreme reaction out of him. Give him time to think. I mean, he kissed you, he made the first move, but then he pushed you away like you’d done something wrong, the guy is confused and right now you’ll only make it worse.”

I knew Ryan was right but I still hated hearing it. To make sure I wouldn’t talk to Jake he took a turn and headed in the opposite direction from our house. We pulled up at a paintballing range where one of his buddies worked and, after I sent a quick text to Tyler to tell him he was okay for now, Ryan made me leave my phone in the car. We joined a group on a company team building exercise. It sure beat the hell out of being in school and it managed to take my mind off my troubles.

When we jumped back into the car, my body aching from a couple of shots Ryan got me with, I checked my phone but there wasn’t even a single message waiting on it for me. I opened the glove compartment and shoved my phone inside, wanting to just forget about things for a little longer, while Ryan typed rapidly into his phone.

“You want to get something to eat?” Ryan asked, starting the engine.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m starving after all that running around.”

“Cool. Do you mind if we pick Emily up on the way?”

“Why would I mind? She’s my best friend,” I said.

“I know, but you know how it is between us,” he said.

“You mean still in the early stages where you can’t keep your hands off each other?” I smiled.

“Exactly,” Ryan said as he mimed feeling a pair of tits.

As we got closer towards town Ryan turned off, heading off the road that led to the school and Emily’s house, which were the two places I expected us to go to pick her up. I didn’t say anything, assuming Ryan knew what he was doing, until I recognized the hardware store and sat up stiffly in my seat.

“Ry?” I asked.

“Relax,” he said, “We’re not going to Jake’s.”

“Then what are we doing in his neighborhood?”

“Picking Emily up,” he said.

“Wait, what?” I sighed. “Don’t tell me… She’s gone to talk to him?”

Ryan slowed the car down at a light and turned his head to look at me. “She’s his friend too. She wanted to check on him because he wouldn’t answer his phone and her friend lives just up the road so she got him to give her a ride.”

“Maybe I should…”

“Don’t even think about it, bro,” Ryan said. “The last thing you need right now is another fight.”

“You think Jake would hit me again?”

“I’d say there’s a pretty good chance,” he said.

Before he could say anything else we saw Emily on the sidewalk waving to us and stopped so she could jump into the back seat. My heart was pounding in my chest as she got in. I needed to know what Jake had said to her.

“What did he say?” I barked as Ryan turned to give her a quick kiss.

“Not even a hello?” she asked as Ryan drove away.

“Sorry, hello,” I replied. “So?”

“So he’s a mess,” Emily said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“What do you think I mean, Ev?” Emily said. “You’re his best friend and he’s just found out you’re fucking the guy he hates most in the world. He doesn’t know if he can trust you anymore.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “Why wouldn’t he be able to trust me?”

“I’m just telling you what he told me,” she said. “He thinks you’re with Tyler to get back at him because he chose Tina instead of you.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“Nope,” Emily said. “He thinks you wanted to hurt him so you chose the one person he’d never want you to be with.”

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Is he jealous?”

“He’s kind of got a point,” Ryan said from the driver’s seat.

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Think about it, Ev. Jake’s the guy you’ve wanted all along, who you still want now. Can you honestly say you would have let Tyler fuck you that first time if you hadn’t seen Jake fucking Tina first?”

“I guess not,” I admitted.

“You went round there hoping to get fucked by Jake and when he wasn’t available you called Tyler, knowing how they felt about each other.”

“I feel like you two are ganging up on me,” I said.

“We’re not,” Ryan and Emily said at the same time.

“We just want you to see things through his eyes, Ev,” Ryan continued.

“But that still doesn’t tell me what he wants,” I said.

“I don’t think he knows what he wants, Ev,” Emily said. “He made out like it was all because of Tyler, because he hates him and can’t believe you’d go with him. But…”

“But what?”

“But when I asked him if he’d act the same if you were with any other guy he couldn’t answer me. He started pacing up and down and told me to leave.”

“Fuck…” I mumbled. “What…”

“Let’s not talk about this now,” Ryan said. “We’re supposed to be taking your mind off this shit. Let’s go eat.”

We actually managed to get through our food without talking about any of it, mainly because Ryan spent most of the meal flirting with Emily and what can only be called rough housing with me, treating me like he did when we were kids, stopping just short of giving me a noogie. I have to admit that Emily and Ryan were a good match and they looked genuinely happy together as I watched them.

We dropped Emily off at her place on the way back to ours and Ryan went inside for what I am sure was more than just a bit of making out even though he was only in there for about five minutes while I waited in the car.

When we got in I headed straight for the kitchen but stopped in the doorway seeing Dad sat there drinking a cup of coffee.

“Sit down, Evan, please,” he said, pointing to a seat. I did as he said and waited for him to speak again. “I got a call from Jake’s dad while I was at work. What happened?”

“Jake and Tyler got into a fight and I got in the middle of it,” I said, truthfully.

“But if they were fighting why did you get suspended too?” he asked. “Do I need to call the school?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I tackled Tyler in the hall to get him off Jake.”

“Is that all?” Dad asked.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because Jake told his dad that you hit him.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Yes, I did. He hit me too.”

“I don’t understand this,” Dad said. “You two are best friends. What can happen to make the two of you come to blows?”

I hesitated for a moment and then just decided to be honest. “I told Jake how I feel. That I love him. He didn’t exactly handle it very well.”

“Okay…” Dad said, studying me. “But what has that got to do with Tyler? Is he the guy you’ve been seeing?”

“What?!” I shouted so loud that Ryan came running into the kitchen.

Dad looked at me. “I’m not stupid, Evan, and neither is your mother. You’ve been seeing someone these past few weeks, probably having sex. We both thought it was Jake and that was why he hadn’t been coming over because he didn’t want to be too obvious, but it’s not him is it, it’s Tyler?”

“Yes…” I said.

“Are you being careful?” Dad asked.

“Yes, Dad,” I said.

“I mean…”

“I know what you mean. We use condoms.”

“Good,” he smiled. “What was the fight about then?”

“Jake found out about me and Tyler and wasn’t happy. He hates him. He told Tyler to stay away from me and when Tyler said he wouldn’t they got into a fight about it.”

“And you decided to join in?” Dad asked, frowning.

“No,” I said. “I tried to stop it but when I stepped into the middle and they kept fighting I had to defend myself.”

“Come on, Dad,” Ryan said. “He didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done. His suspension is bullshit.”

“Bullshit or not, it’s never right to fight. I know that. I had more than a few fights at school and it almost screwed up my life. Settle your differences with words,” Dad said.

“I tried,” I protested, “but Jake and Tyler are athletes. They don’t know the meaning of the term back down.”

“I can’t believe you had two guys fighting over you. I thought your brother was the only one with relationship dramas,” Dad sighed, nodding toward Ryan.

“What do you mean by that?” Ryan asked, moving further into the room.

“What happened with Paige… And you’re dating Emily,” Dad said.

“How is that drama?” Ryan asked.

“Because you’re nearly twenty-three and she’s barely eighteen,” Dad said. “Is it serious?”

“We’ve only been together for a few weeks Dad,” Ryan said. “We’re having fun.”

“Yes, but then the fun becomes serious. Especially since she’s a girl…”

“I use condoms too, Dad. I’m not ready for a baby.”

“Neither was I when I had you but that didn’t stop you coming.”

Ryan and I both stared at Dad, amazed by his honesty.

“So what’s the problem?” Ryan asked. “I’m being careful.”

“I’m happy to hear that, but things are more complicated than they are with Evan. The guys he’s interested in are his own age, they’re going through the same things. Emily’s still a kid. What are you going to do next year when she goes off to college?”

“I don’t know, Dad. We might not even be together then. All I know is that right now I really like her and want to see if we can make a go of it. We can deal with college stuff and whether we still want to be together when it gets closer.”

“As long as you know where you stand,” Dad said. “You too, Evan.”

“Okay…” I said.

The next five minutes were spent discussing what I was going to do with my time off school. Dad wanted to be seen as punishing me, even though he agreed with me that a suspension was a bit harsh, so he wrote out a list of chores he wanted me to do throughout the rest of the week.

Later that night I was tempted to call both Tyler and Jake but Ryan never left my side, making me watch TV or play video games so I wouldn’t.

“What harm will talking to Tyler do?” I asked Ryan as we lay side by side on my bed after finishing a game, wearing nothing but our boxers, wanting to be comfortable.

“Probably none,” Ryan said, staring up at the ceiling. “But Tyler’s got to have a lot on his mind right now too, bro. If word gets out your life won’t change that much, not really, his will. He’s a jock. They’re not supposed to like guys.”

“I know but…”

“But what?” Ryan asked. “Do you really think if this all comes out that he’s going to just stand up and admit it?”

I thought about it for a second, “No.”

“Do you think he’s going to take your hand and walk through the halls at school showing everyone that he’s your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Then what do you expect?” he asked, turning to look at me.

“I don’t know,” I replied.

We were both silent for a while and then Ryan finally said, “Who do you want more?”

Now it was my turn to look at him. I shook my head. “I don’t know that either. I love Jake but everything with him is so hard and God knows where his head is right now. With Tyler it’s easy.”

“Then maybe that’s your answer,” Ryan said.

“It’s not that simple though, is it?” I asked.

“Why not?”

“Joe…” I sighed. Ryan nodded his head and smiled sympathetically. “What am I going to do?”

“Nothing,” Ryan stated. “This time you’ve got to let them come to you.”

I managed to do what Ryan said for about another twelve hours, sleep being about seven of those. With no school, my chores for the day done and no word from Tyler or Jake I just couldn’t stop my mind from going over everything and I needed to do something to stop myself from going insane so I grabbed my jacket and headed out. I continued on, telling myself I was just walking, but my body knew exactly where it was going and I soon found myself knocking on his door.

“Oh fuck no,” Jake said as he pulled the door open and slammed it straight back in my face.

I was stunned by his reaction but I had come this far. I knocked again. There was no answer. I rang the bell then and the door was flung open.

“Just get the fuck away, Ev,” Jake snapped. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“But we need to sort this out,” I said.

“Everything’s fine. Go home.”

Jake went to close the door again but I jumped forward and stopped him. “How can you say everything is fine?”

“Because it’s the only way to get you to fuck off. I don’t want to talk to you. All I see when I look at your face is Tyler’s cum smeared all over it. You disgust me.”

Jake pushed me backwards so I stumbled and nearly fell down the porch steps. In the couple of seconds it took for me to regain my balance he had slammed the door again and I was left alone feeling like I was about to cry because this time things really had been ruined and I didn’t see a way back from it.