Chapter Twenty Three
One Month Later…
After I walked away from Jake and missed the rest of the day at school, walking until I was out in a clearing just on the edge of town so I could think in near complete silence, things seemed to quieten down, not just in that setting but in my life.
As much as Jake’s words had hurt me that day I knew he was right and I had to face that. He told me no but I kept pushing him until he had no choice but to give in and say yes. That wasn’t what a friend does. If he had done the same thing to me I would have been angry as hell at him so why did I expect him to feel different?
I wanted to blame him for the rift between us, thinking up all kinds of different reasons why, but in the end I kept hearing his words over and over again in my head and I knew I was just as much to blame as him. I was projecting my fantasies onto him, convincing myself they were reality and he was lying to himself about not wanting to be with me. I was seeing what I wanted to and not listening to what he said because his kisses and his hard dick had screamed something different to what his words were telling me. I should have listened.
We didn’t talk to each other, didn’t eat lunch together, we didn’t hang around our lockers long enough for there to be a chance of us bumping into each other. Instead of picking me up in a morning Jake went in to school early for wrestling practice, even though he didn’t really need the extra training sessions for the upcoming season. At least it gave me something to say to my mom when she asked why he wasn’t coming over for breakfast anymore.
No one but Emily even seemed to notice that something was wrong, they just thought Jake was spending more time with his girlfriend than his best friend; if I could even be called that anymore. Emily knew straight away that something had happened because we weren’t just not talking we were completely ignoring each other. After a few days of her begging me and a failed attempt at getting information out of Jake, since they were still talking, I finally told her an edited version of what happened, going as far as the kisses and me trying to tempt him to have sex me without telling her that he had technically been inside me. I didn’t think Jake would want her knowing that, and even as we were I wanted to protect him. She seemed satisfied.
Despite everything though, I still couldn’t stop the thoughts of lust every time I looked at him. He was beautiful and sexy with a smile that sent a shiver through me. I hated Tina for having him and I hated myself even more for still wanting him, especially since I knew I’d give in quicker than I could say yes if he ever changed his mind and wanted me.
If anything ever did happen with Jake I would be ready since I was definitely no longer a virgin. After my first time with Tyler in the back of his car, and a couple of conversations that cleared up what we were both looking for, we had managed to get together a few more times and to say he fucked my brains out would be a bit of an understatement.
The first time was almost a week after the sex in his car. He had wanted to do something at the weekend but between his buddies and my parents there was no way either of us could get away without questions being asked and I knew he wanted to be careful. It had been the Wednesday; both my parents were working late and Ryan was out with Emily. Inviting him back to mine had been risky but the thought of getting fucked in my own bed was too hot to resist. Even though we both agreed it wasn’t just about the sex we wasted no time in going up to my room and getting naked.
After exchanging blowjobs he put me on my hands and knees and ate my ass for about five minutes until I was begging him to fuck me. He gave me what I wanted and slipped in from behind, slowly feeding me the length of his seven inch dick before he found a rhythm and started to fuck me. His hands and lips were all over my back and he kept reaching around to grab my pecs or rub my abs and cock until he decided to flip me onto my back so we were face to face.
We made out or just stared into each other’s eyes as he continued to slide in and out of me. The pleasure running through me was immense and my dick had never been so hard. He slowed down a couple of times when I could sense he was getting close so he could prolong it and then finally he took me over the edge with a little help from his hand as he unloaded into the condom deep inside me.
We lay in each other’s arms for about half an hour afterwards just chatting and running our hands over each other’s bodies until he had to leave. It was everything I had ever dreamed sex could be and he told me he felt the same.
The last time was this past weekend, after almost two weeks without since Tyler was busy with football, our school narrowly missing out on a place in the play-off finals. He had been devastated and wanted to be cheered up.
We were at my house again with my parents gone for the day and Ryan off with his friends somewhere. It was a mixture of soft, slow sex, almost like we were making love, and hard, pounding, animalistic fucking where he hammered me so hard I was convinced the bed was going to break. It was the first time he got me to cum hands-free without either of us touching my cock and I almost passed out from how amazing it felt.
It was only after we had cleaned up and Tyler was putting his clothes back on that I looked out of the window and saw Ryan’s car in the drive. He had come home and had to have heard us. I never said a word to Tyler since I knew he’d freak out but the smile on Ryan’s face when he came down after I saw Tyler out told me everything I needed to know.
“He must have been damn good, bro, the way you were screaming,” Ryan grinned.
I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. It was one thing to be overheard having sex but it was another entirely for your brother to hear you begging for cock like a bitch. I felt like running away but Ryan and I had come too far and had shared too much to be embarrassed now.
“Oh man, Ry, he was. I’d say you have no idea but you do,” I smiled.
We both burst out laughing and he grabbed two bottles of water and threw me one as we sat down at the breakfast bar.
“Come on then, bro, give me the details,” Ryan said, smiling at me from across the counter.
“You really want to know?” I asked.
“I told you about me and Danny,” he said.
“Okay,” I relented. “What do you want to know?”
“How many times have you guys done it now?” Ryan grinned.
“Six times,” I said without even having to think.
“Yeah? You told me about the one in the car and the first time you brought him here. Obviously just now was another. What are the other three?”
I still couldn’t believe I was talking to my brother like this but there really were no secrets between us anymore and if truth be told I wanted to tell someone so I opened up and let it all out.
“After we did it in my bed he wanted to fuck me in his so I went over there a few Sundays ago while his parents were at church or something and he must have been inside me for over an hour. I was so sure his parents were gonna come home to find us, but they didn’t. He almost didn’t let me go. He just wanted to hold me.
“The time after that we fulfilled one of his fantasies because he said he’d wanted to fuck me in the shower since we came so close when he rubbed up against my ass and jerked me off, but we both needed to be sweaty.”
“Kinky,” Ryan smiled.
“Yeah, I decided to play along so I went out for a run around the time his football practice was letting out. I pushed it hard so the sweat was pouring off me and I kept going until his car pulled up beside me and I jumped in. He hadn’t showered after practice either so we were both a bit ripe but it only made us hotter.
“We went to his because he parents were out and climbed into the shower. There was barely enough room for the two of us and our bodies were almost always touching. We started off by slowly washing each other, rubbing the other’s tight muscles, never touching a dick or ass.”
“That’s like teasing foreplay,” Ryan said, “So cruel but has you begging for it.”
“I know,” I smiled. “When he was washing me he washed my back and after the longest time he finally let his hands go down onto my ass, slipping one and then two fingers inside me to really make me moan while he nibbled on my neck. Then he slid his cock deep inside me and just held it there as he kissed me and reached around, washing my pecs and abs until he eventually started stroking my throbbing cock with his soaped up hand and then he started moving inside me.
“We stayed in that position the whole time, with his arms wrapped around me and the warm water falling over our bodies as they moved together in perfect sync, his cock sliding in and out of me until we both came. It was incredible, Ry. I never thought it would feel that good.”
“That’s hot. I’ll have to keep that in mind for Emily,” Ryan said.
“I can’t believe the two of you are still together. It’s the longest she’s ever been with a guy.”
“It’s a lot more than just sex now, bro,” Ryan said. “I didn’t think it would be when it started but I really like her. It’s been more than a month and we still can’t get enough of each other. I’m gonna take her out for a proper date on Friday when Mom and Dad go to visit Aunt Sheila. I didn’t think I’d find anyone who compared to Paige but I’ve been real lucky with Emily.”
“Wow, that’s deep, Ry,” I smiled.
“I know,” he chuckled. “Talking of things going deep, tell me about the other time Tyler fucked you. Assuming you were the bottom every time.”
“I have been,” I said. “I’d love to fuck him but he says no one has ever been inside him so it might take a while, if he ever decides to give it up. I don’t mind. I love feeling him inside me.”
“You slut,” Ryan laughed.
“I think I am, bro. The other time we went back to where we first had sex, the dirt road between the two fields, only this time since it was cold outside we used his back seats and I rode him while we kissed. God he loved having his hands on my ass. He kept massaging them and pulled my cheeks apart so he could bounce me up and down on his cock. We were together for almost an hour afterwards, just talking and kissing with our arms around each other. It was the first time I kind of felt like we were boyfriends.”
“And are you?” Ryan asked.
“Hell no,” I protested. “We like each other and we actually get along but for now it’s not much more than amazing sex. I think as long as he plays football that’s all it’s going to be.”
“That’s a shame, Ev. I really want you to be happy.”
“I am,” I said. “Even with everything that’s happened with Jake I feel good when I’m with Tyler. He gives me exactly what I need without complicating things. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if I was with Jake. At least Tyler and I don’t hang around so we don’t have to pretend. With Jake I’d be lying all the time in public and then we’d be together behind closed doors. I don’t want that.”
“When are you going to tell Emily?” Ryan asked. “She’s been begging me to find out what’s been going on with you but I haven’t told her because you asked me not to. I can tell she knows I’m holding something back now though, and after this talk she’ll see it written all over my face.”
“Fine,” I said. “You can tell her on Friday so it’s all out in the open before your big date. Just don’t tell her who. I don’t want to lie to her but I still want to protect Tyler.”
It was a quiet week at school where I pretty much managed to avoid any awkward moments with Jake or lustful glances at Tyler, but that was about to change. When I told Ryan he could tell Emily on Friday I didn’t think he would do it first thing.
I had barely made it to my locker, dumping the books I didn’t need until later into it to lighten my load, and was just about to shut the door when I was shoved from behind. My immediate instinct was to turn around to defend myself from whoever my attacker was, thinking it was someone like Joe, but it was Emily’s angry face I was staring into.
“When were you gonna tell me, Ev?” she pouted with her hands on her hips.
“Tell you what?” I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t know what she was talking about even though I could see the answer written all over her face.
“When were you going to tell me that you’ve been getting fucked?”
Damn that sounded loud. I quickly looked around to see if anyone else had heard her but no one seemed to be paying attention so I leaned in and said, “It’s only been a couple of times, okay, it’s not that big a deal.”
“Not a big deal? Who are you kidding?” Emily screeched. “I’m your best friend. You tell me when you lose your virginity.”
“You lost your virginity?”
I felt my eyes go wide as soon as I heard the voice behind me. Jake. I quickly spun around to look in his eyes but I couldn’t read the expression on his face. It felt like we stared at each other forever before he shook his head, looked down at the floor and walked away with his books and wrestling gear still in his hand. I wasn’t sure if it was my mind playing tricks on me again but he looked disappointed.
Only the bell ringing saved me from being interrogated by Emily, but I had decided to come clean anyway and we met at lunch where I told her everything but who the guy was who’d taken my virginity.
“Why won’t you tell me who he is?” Emily asked as we sat outside on a low wall talking things over. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, but like I told you before, he wouldn’t want you to know and I’m trying to respect that.”
“Don’t get all honorable now when you’ve been taking a dick up your ass for the past month,” Emily said.
“Em, I promise it has nothing to do with not trusting you.”
“Then what’s the real reason?”
“I’m not sure you could keep it quiet.”
“You think I’d blab?”
I hesitated and her face turned to stone. “Look Em, I’m not worried that you’d tell people. I’m worried that you wouldn’t be able to NOT tell them when you find out who he is.”
“I wouldn’t say a word,” Emily protested.
“But you don’t have to say anything to make it obvious you know something. Your face says it all. Every time you saw him in the halls you’d get that grin on your face and everyone would know something’s up.”
“I can keep secrets when they matter,” Emily said. “I haven’t told anyone but you about Joe.”
“I know,” I said, “but you told me. That’s not exactly keeping it to yourself.”
“That’s because I knew I could trust you not to go spreading it all over school,” Emily explained. “You’re my best friend, Ev, I wouldn’t do anything that could hurt you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you everything, I will, I just need a little more time. I’ve finally found someone who can give me what I want and I don’t want to mess it up. Please understand.”
“I understand,” she said, “but I don’t have to like it. We could have been sharing sex stories. I’ve been waiting over a year for you to finally get a boyfriend so we could talk about it.”
“Em, you’re fucking my brother. There’s a limit to how much I want to know about his sex life and I’ve just about reached it.”
Emily paused a second and then broke out in a huge smile. “I was about to call you a prude but I can’t now you’ve taken a big ol’ cock up your ass.” Another pause. “Come on, Ev, just tell me who he is.”
“I told you, not yet,” I said.
“Is it the same guy from the football team who sucked your dick?”
“I’m not telling you,” I smiled.
“That means yes,” Emily grinned. “That gives us like twenty guys to choose from. Are you sure it’s not Joe? He loves sucking dick so I’m sure he’d love to have your ass.”
“It’s not Joe,” I said. “Although if he offered I probably wouldn’t say no…”
“You slut!” Emily laughed, punching me playfully on the arm. “And you’d have been fucking Jake as well if we hadn’t interrupted you.”
“Don’t remind me,” I said.
“Why? Because you still wish it was him instead?”
I let out a long sigh and hung my head. “Yes. I hate myself for still wanting him so bad, Em, but I do. The last couple of weeks aren’t enough to stop me loving him. My feelings went too deep for that and I know THAT Jake is still in there under all his bullshit.”
“He did look kind of devastated when he heard that you’ve lost your virginity,” Emily said. “Maybe he did want to be the one to fuck it out of you.”
“Don’t, Em, please. I can’t think about him like that. I can’t keep hoping something’s going to happen because obviously it’s not. He’s made his choice.”
“But what if it’s the wrong one and he realizes that?”
“He won’t,” I said. “He had his chance. Twice.”
“But you still love him.”
“If only it was that simple,” I sighed. “Yes, I love him. But he doesn’t love me. Not in the same way.”
“And what about this guy you’ve been having sex with?”
“I don’t know where things can go,” I said, “if they can even go anywhere. But I like being with him.”
“And when are you going to BE with him next?” Emily smirked.
I know my face turned a little red and a smile crept onto my face, “Tonight.”
“What? Tonight? Where?” Emily asked, sitting to attention.
“Don’t even think about trying to catch us out,” I said. “Anyway, you’ll be too busy with Ryan to be thinking about me.”
“I think you forget, I’m a woman, I can do two things at once.”
“Not fucking my brother while you spy on me you can’t,” I smiled.
Emily laughed and we chatted a little more before the bell rang and we had to head in for our final few classes. I felt better for having cleared some things up with her but I did feel guilty about not being totally honest. At the same time I was also happy with my resolve. I wouldn’t want Tyler to tell his buddies about us, and as far as I knew he hadn’t, so I wanted to extend him the same courtesy.
After the final bell I headed to my locker to pick up my books and quickly shoved them in my bag. I had just closed the door and set the lock back in place when Jake strode up to his locker next to mine.
“Hey Ev,” he said in his deep voice.
My head whipped around to look at him. It was the first time he had spoken directly to me in almost a month and I had no idea why. I was too surprised and confused to say anything so I just nodded and started to turn away.
“Do you need a ride home?”
I turned back and stared at his face, trying to read any kind of expression on it, but there was nothing. What the fuck was going on? Why was he talking to me now all of a sudden? Part of me wanted to jump at the chance to set things right between us but another part was still angry at him for completely blanking me and cutting me off, even if I had been partly to blame.
I shook my head, “I kind of like walking now,” I said. “I’ve got the pace just right so it’s good cardio. It helps me keep in shape.”
I wasn’t sure but I thought Jake whispered “like you need help”, under his breath. I didn’t know what was going on but I needed to get out of that hallway. It felt like the walls were closing in around me. I needed air.
I quickly said goodbye to Jake and made it out into the parking lot without him following me. I passed by Tyler’s car just as him and Joe were climbing in. I caught his eye and he mouthed “seven” at me, indicating what time he would be getting to mine. I just hoped my parents, Ryan and Emily were gone by then like they planned to be.
When I got home, with a light sweat covering my face, despite the cool air outside, both of my parents were in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. Their bags were packed and they were just relaxing before they headed out on the road.
“I hope you’re going to behave yourself while we’re gone, Ev,” Dad said as he sipped from his cup.
“It’s not me you have to worry about,” I said.
“We’ve spoken to your brother too,” Dad replied. “Just because we let you have a party last time doesn’t mean you can have another.”
“We know,” I said. “There’s nothing to celebrate this time anyway. And Ryan hates having to clean up after a party. He only did it last time because it was my birthday.”
“That’s what he said,” Mom smiled. “Do you have any plans for tonight? Your brother said he was going out with some friends.”
Friends? I guess he still hadn’t told Mom about Emily, though Dad gave me a knowing look.
“I think I’m just going to stay here, play some games, watch some TV. I can’t drink and I don’t have a car so there’s not much else I can do,” I smiled.
“You should ask Jake over,” Mom said. “I feel like I haven’t seen him in weeks.”
I hope my face didn’t give away the panicked feeling I felt surge through me. “He’s been busy,” I said. “It’s that time of year. Practice before and after school, homework, his job and fitting his girl in. The best friend can wait.”
“I just hope he doesn’t forget you if he wins and becomes a star,” Mom said. “You’ve helped that boy become the man he is.”
“Thanks Mom,” I said, but I felt like a rabbit trapped in a hunter’s scope.
I quickly excused myself and went upstairs to get changed. I had just stripped down to my underwear and was getting a towel ready to shower when Mom and Dad called up to tell me they were going. I went to the top of the stairs and waved goodbye as they were heading out.
In the shower I made sure to thoroughly clean out since I knew Tyler was coming over and there was pretty much a one-hundred percent guarantee that we would end up having sex at some point during the evening, probably sooner rather than later.
I had just finished packing away the douche that Tyler had given me the first time we’d had sex at his place - I didn’t know where he got it from and I didn’t ask but I appreciated the sentiment and that he was thinking ahead - when Ryan walked in the front door and came up the stairs.
“Hey bro,” he said as he stood in my doorway.
“Hey,” I smiled, wrapping my towel around my waist. I noticed he looked a bit nervous. “You can relax. I’ve talked to Emily.”
“Oh good,” he sighed. “She chewed my ass out this morning for knowing you’ve been having sex and not telling her.”
“She wasn’t too happy with me either, but we’ve sorted it out. I think she understands.”
“Maybe she won’t punish me tonight then,” he said, then paused and broke into a smile, “Too much.”
I laughed with him and could actually imagine Emily punishing him, even if it did make me feel a little bit queasy.
Ryan was just turning away and heading away from my room toward his own, pulling his shirt off over his head, when I said, “Jake spoke to me today.”
“What?” Ryan asked, coming back to my doorway shirtless, his thin but insanely defined body on full show. He took a step inside. “Like in passing, or…”
“He offered me a ride home,” I said.
“Just out of the blue?” he asked.
“Well…” I started.
“Well what?” Ryan urged.
“He overheard me telling Emily that I lost my virginity,” I said. “He walked off then and I didn’t see him until the end of the day. I was at my locker grabbing my books and he just came up and started talking like nothing ever happened. I mean what the fuck? Where is all this coming from?”
“Maybe that’s what he needed to hear,” Ryan said, absentmindedly scratching his hairy abs.
“Because maybe hearing that you’ve been with someone else shows him you’ve moved on. You’re not waiting for him to be the one. You can be with different people and can go back to being friends,” Ryan said.
“I guess you’re right,” I said.
I turned my back to the door and pulled my towel off to start drying myself. It wasn’t until Ryan spoke that I realized he was still there.
“You sound disappointed by that explanation,” he said.
I turned around, not bothering to cover myself as I ran the towel over my chest, “Do I?”
“Yes,” Ryan smiled. “You want it to be because he’s jealous.”
“I don’t,” I protested.
“Oh come on, Ev, you can’t lie to me,” Ryan said. “You still want him. You’re still hoping he’s going to say he made a mistake and he wants to be with you.”
“I honestly haven’t thought about that. I’m happy with what I’ve got with Tyler.”
“Yeah, but you’d be happier with Jake,” Ryan said.
“Would I though?” I asked. “In theory, yes. He’s the guy I’ve been dreaming off for the past two years. He’s my best friend, or was. But what if it’s not like it was in the dreams? What if he’s not what I want him to be?”
“Who ever is, bro?” Ryan asked. “Tyler’s not perfect. You’re his dirty little secret. That’s not what you really want, even if it’s fine for now.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I sighed. “Does that mean Emily isn’t perfect?”
“I don’t think anyone is perfect,” Ryan said. “I’m not, Paige wasn’t, and no, Emily isn’t. But they’ve both been as close as I’m probably ever going to get. If I’m honest I wish Emily was a few years older, you know, my age. She wants to go to college next year. I’ve already done that, I’m over it. I’m hoping we can make it work because I do really like her, Ev, and I don’t want to let another great girl slip through my fingers, but I can’t lie to myself, it’s gonna be hard.”
“So what do you do?” I asked.
“You put the hard work in,” Ryan smiled. “If it’s what you want, if it’s what will make you happy, it doesn’t matter how tough it is, it’s worth fighting for it.”
I nodded and turned again to reach into my underwear drawer.
“Damn, bro,” Ryan said. “No wonder Tyler loves fucking you. That’s the tightest little bubble butt I’ve ever seen.”
I laughed, “Hey, your ass ain’t so bad either. I know why Danny loved fucking it and why Emily probably will when she buys you a strap-on.”
“Fuck you,” Ryan laughed, flipping me off.
I pulled out the little red, white and blue striped mesh boxers that Jake had got me for my birthday and pulled them on, tucking my dick into the material pouch while the colored mesh slipped perfectly over my ass cheeks, cupping them tightly.
“Holy shit, bro, those things are almost obscene,” Ryan gasped. “Kind of kinky though.”
“Kinky?” I asked.
“Yeah, wearing Jake’s boxers on a date with Tyler. Hell, maybe you should wear them in front of Jake. That might make him want to fuck you.”
“Getting weird now, Ry,” I said.
“Shit, yeah, sorry,” Ryan said as he shook his head and left me alone in my room as he went over to his.
I admired myself in the mirror for a moment. The boxers really were the perfect fit and showed off every muscle I had worked so hard to build over the past couple of years. I honestly hadn’t thought about Jake buying them for me, I just knew they’d get the desired result from Tyler when he saw them, however brief it was before he ripped them off me.
I had just turned around to try to get a look at my ass to see what Ryan was walking about when the doorbell rang.
“Hey, Ev, can you get that? It’ll be Emily and I’m naked in here,” Ryan called from across the hall.
“Maybe you should get it then,” I laughed as I grabbed my shirt and went down to open the door.
Thinking it was Emily like Ryan said, I didn’t bother putting my shirt on or covering myself up, I just held it in my hand. I pulled open the door and froze. It wasn’t Emily. It was Jake.
To Be Continued…