Chapter Twenty Two
Tyler dropped me off on the street next to mine and I spent the whole of the short walk home trying to understand what had happened. The sex had been amazing. Physically I had never felt better. It was everything I could have imagined it to be, though I would have preferred it be in my bed or Tyler’s instead of in the back of his car down some dirt road between two fields. It was what happened after he pulled out of me that left me confused.
Everything Tyler had said in the lead up to us finally getting together made me think he wanted me as more than just another conquest, but his reaction after he came said anything but. Once he recovered from his orgasm, pushed himself off my back and pulled his slowly shrinking dick from my ass he just fell to the side next to me. There was no arm thrown over me, no hugs or kisses, no snuggling together to bask in the glow of our great sex. When he got his breathing under control he just pushed himself up and left me, still a panting, sweaty mess, while he walked around to the front of the car and started to get dressed.
I pushed myself up into a sitting position and looked over my shoulder toward him, trying to make eye contact, but he never once looked at me. I thought back over the last few moments of us having sex, trying to remember if I’d said something to cause the reaction, praying that I didn’t call out Jake’s name when I shot my load, but I knew I didn’t. Tyler fucked me so good it was his name I was calling.
I sat there with my body still trembling, my hole twitching, wanting to pull Tyler’s cock back inside it. None of it made sense. If Tyler just wanted to fuck me he had achieved his goal. But if that were the case then he would have been gloating, a huge grin on his face as he humiliated me by telling me I fell for it and he finally nailed my ass and could brag about it to all his guys. That didn’t happen. If anything he looked solemn, like it wasn’t as good as he was expecting and now he had no interest in me because I didn’t live up to his standards.
As I slowly inched my way out of the back of his car, feeling my legs aching and weak beneath me as I stood, I tried to figure out what to say to him. I actually cared about him and his reaction concerned me. I wanted it to be as good for him as it was for me. I wanted him to be happy and content. I wanted it to be the beginning of things for us, not the end, which is what it seemed like.
By the time I was dressed, Tyler was sitting in the driver’s seat like he was waiting for me, wanting to get away from there and what we had done. He still hadn’t said a word and the silence was filled with tension.
I eased myself into the seat beside him, conscious of my ass, which was a bit sore from the pounding it had just taken, and turned to look at his face. There was no expression on it. I couldn’t read him or tell what was going on inside his head.
“Ty?” I whispered. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said with a nod, but he still didn’t look at me.
He started the car and drove out onto the paved roads, heading back toward town. I kept waiting for him to say something but he never did. I knew I would have to be the one to break the silence, I just didn’t know what to say.
A few minutes later we were pulling up by the side of the road for me to get out. I turned to look at him, staring straight at his face.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I pushed the door open but stopped again. “Thanks.”
“For what?” Tyler asked, finally turning his head to look at me.
“For taking your time and letting me be ready. For not being too rough. For taking my virginity and giving me a fuck I’ll never forget. Thank you.”
Tyler’s lip curled into a slight smile and he let out a tiny laugh. He leaned in, closing the gap between us and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “You’re welcome.”
I got out of the car and closed the door. When he drove off I continued to watch until he turned the corner and disappeared from sight. In those final few seconds the Tyler I had come to know had seemed to reappear but I still couldn’t explain the awkward silence that had taken over when we were in the car. I felt like I was going to be sick. I hated not knowing what was going through his mind and even though I trusted him now a part of me still worried that the news that he had fucked me would be all over school tomorrow when I went in.
When I walked through my front door I was snapped out of my thoughts by how silent it was. I think I was expecting to hear Emily still screaming while Ryan nailed her but there weren’t even any signs that she’d been there.
I headed straight into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, downing the whole bottle without taking a break or a breath, never realizing how thirsty I was until the liquid landed on my tongue and I couldn’t get enough.
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and headed toward the stairs, wondering where Ryan was. When I made it to the top I heard the faint sounds of his TV and went to his room to find him lying on his bed on his stomach, butt naked, his firm ass on full display as he played a game on a PS4 that hadn’t been there the day before.
“Where’s Emily?” I asked, standing at the door, trying to look anywhere but at his ass, which would have been damn hot had it been on anyone but my big brother.
“She left,” Ryan said, without looking up from the screen. “She wanted to say goodbye to you but she couldn’t find you.”
“Yeah, I went out,” I said. “Shouldn’t you get dressed? Mom’s gonna come home and know you’ve had sex if you’re lying around naked, especially if you don’t open the window.”
Ryan laughed, “It does smell a bit like hot sweaty sex in here.”
“And cum,” I smiled.
“You’d know what that smells like,” Ryan grinned and looked up at me. The second his eyes landed on my face he paused the game and sat up on the bed, not even thinking that he was naked and his semi-hard cock was now on full display.
“What?” I asked, wondering what he was staring at.
“I’m not the only one who’s had sex,” he grinned.
“What are you talking about?” I tried to brush him off.
“Your face is red and glowing again like it was after Tyler sucked your dick. Wait, did you go see Jake? Did he fuck you?” Ryan asked, unconsciously reaching down for his dick, which was getting harder.
“Wishful thinking,” I said. “You’re just a pervert.”
“And you’re trying to avoid the question,” Ryan smiled. “Not that I really need an answer since it’s all over your face. Or is that Jake’s cum?”
“Don’t you wish,” I said. “You’d probably try to lick it off.”
“Fuck off,” Ryan laughed. “Come on, bro, be honest. Am I right? Did you have sex or not?”
“Can you really tell?” I asked, turning to examine my face in his mirror.
“Holy shit! Jake did fuck you!” Ryan said, jumping up, fully hard now.
I turned back so we were looking at each other and smiled, keeping my eyes on his face. “Jake didn’t fuck me.”
“But I thought that’s where you went when you disappeared,” Ryan said.
“It was,” I said. “But when I got there he was already busy with Tina so I left and called Tyler.”
“You called Tyler?” Ryan asked, his voice going high with surprise.
“Why is that so shocking?” I asked.
“You made the first move,” Ryan smiled. “Everything else so far sounded like he was pursuing you but this was you wanting his dick.”
I laughed, “Yeah, it was. I was so horny after what happened with Jake… seeing his naked body on top of Tina… God, he’s so hot, bro. I want him so bad but he’s made his choice and there’s a guy equally as hot who wants me.”
“Wants you? It sounds like he’s had you now, bro.”
“Yeah…” I said, trailing off as I thought about Tyler’s reaction afterwards.
“What?” Ryan asked.
“It’s just Tyler,” I said.
“What about him?”
“Well, the sex was amazing. He fucked me so good. I know what you meant when you talked about getting fucked by Danny. Tyler knew exactly what he was doing.”
“So what’s the problem?” Ryan asked.
“He seemed so into it while we were doing it, but after we came he just kind of drifted off and went silent. We barely spoke afterwards.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t understand it. I’ve been trying to think what I did wrong.”
“I can’t help you there, Ev. I don’t know what’s going through Tyler’s head. You need to ask him.”
“I know I do. I just don’t know what to say. At first I thought maybe he did just see me as a fuck and now he’s had me he’s lost interest but I don’t think that’s it. If he just wanted to screw me so he could brag to his buddies he would have had a smile on his face but he looked kind of sad.”
“Give it an hour or two and then text him casually. You want to get with him again, right?”
“I do,” I said. “I thought he was a dick at first but he’s actually a really nice guy when you get past all the jock bullshit. And damn, Ry, his cock felt so good inside me. I’m getting hard just thinking about it. It kind of feels like he’s still in me.”
“I told you you’d love it,” Ryan smiled. “Shit, I’m hard again too now. I think we’d better take care of these before Mom and Dad get home.”
I smiled and left Ryan to it, heading into my own room where I stripped naked, lay down on my bed and jerked my throbbing cock to the thoughts of Tyler being inside me, on top of me with those beautiful eyes looking down at me. I slid my hand down so my finger touched my still slick hole and I slipped what I could of it inside while I stroked myself to an orgasm almost as big as the one I’d shot with Tyler inside me. God I wanted him back in me.
I did as Ryan said and waited until after dinner to text Tyler, just asking how he was, but he didn’t reply. I kept my phone by my side all night, hoping it would light up with a message but there wasn’t a single notification for anything, not even some of the crappy spam emails I always got. It was like the world was teasing me.
Waiting around and not knowing what was going through Tyler’s head was driving me crazy. I wanted to text him again or even call him so I could talk to him but I didn’t want to seem too desperate. There was a reason he wasn’t talking to me and even if I didn’t know what it was I had to respect his decision to stay silent.
The image of his face as I sat beside him in the car after we had sex kept coming back to me. He looked like a little boy after a bully had broken his favourite toy on purpose and had thrown it back in his face. I just couldn’t understand what had happened to make him look so sad.
When I couldn’t take it any longer I decided the only thing to do was to get an early night, hoping sleep would take me away from reality to whatever fantasy land it dreamt up. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, but as soon as I did there was Tyler’s face again, looking like his heart had been broken.
Instead of opening my eyes and breaking the vision I continued to stare at it until Tyler looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes. I hit the mattress beside me and groaned but then suddenly Tyler’s face started to move, not into a different expression, it was literally morphing into something else. Only when the image finally settled down and everything stopped moving did I realize it was Jake, staring at me with that shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face when he caught me watching him fuck Tina.
My mind turned to thinking about Jake and what he had been doing all night. There had been no contact between us, not even some snide comment that would drive home the fact that he had chosen Tina over me. I threw my head back, keeping my eyes closed, thinking about how messed up things were but they only got worse when Jake’s smug face was joined by his incredible, naked, thrusting body. He was so hot. And now I was getting hard. Again.
When I woke up the next morning there was dried cum all over my chest from where I shot my load after jerking myself to the image of Jake fucking Tina. It was messed up and I kind of hated myself for still wanting to be the one he was having sex with but my third load of the day was just as big as the previous two. I had no idea where it all came from.
After a quick shower I threw on my clothes and headed downstairs for breakfast, wanting to get ready as early as possible because I had a feeling I would have to walk to school since I couldn’t imagine Jake coming for me. I was right.
I hadn’t walked to school in almost a year and it seemed to be much further than I remembered, even though I had run the whole way in the opposite direction the other day. I was cursing my decision not to get a car, but after I passed my test my parents said if I wanted a car I would have to get a job to pay for it, and since Jake already drove it just didn’t seem worth it. I guess I never saw the day coming when he wouldn’t be there to pick me up.
He did drive past me on the way to school but didn’t even acknowledge me. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach and the throat at the same time. After everything we’d been through over the years our friendship had come to this and it was all because I couldn’t keep my feelings hidden anymore.
As I walked through the parking lot I saw that Tyler’s car was there too and I couldn’t help smile, wondering what people would think if they knew what we’d done in the back of it. A quick glance around told me that no one knew anything because they just ignored me like they did every day.
By the time I got to my locker Jake was gone and I didn’t see Tyler anywhere either so I dumped the books I didn’t need into my locker and headed to my first class, trying to forget everything by losing myself in the work.
My first two classes actually went okay, probably because I didn’t have any distractions and could fully concentrate. It was only as my third class was beginning that I knew I might have a problem. I had sat down in my normal seat and was organising my desk when Joe walked into the room and we immediately made eye contact. My heart pounded in my chest and my breathing almost stopped. Did he know? Could he know that the guy who had been fucking him had now been inside me too?
I kept looking into Joe’s eyes and he never turned away, staring straight back at me, as the rest of the students started to arrive and take their seats. I tried to find something in his gaze that gave away his feelings; anger, jealousy, hatred. I found nothing. He was just staring at me, and as messed up as my head was I started wondering if maybe after Tyler had finished with me and didn’t get what he wanted he went back to Joe and fucked him until he did.
The bell ringing to officially start the class was the only thing that pulled my attention from Joe. I glanced over at the door just as the teacher was about to close it. He had barely gripped the handle when Tina rushed into the room looking a bit dishevelled, her cheeks rosy like she was blushing. Jake. He had to be the reason she looked like that. He had probably been all over her. I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at her but when I did the image of Jake’s naked, writhing, thrusting, sweaty body was all I saw and I had to open them again, gasping as my body shook and my dick pulsed out precum into my pants. Joe was still looking at me, only now with a frown on his face.
The teacher started talking and I tried to listen but I wasn’t taking anything in. My eyes kept going back and forth between Tina and Joe, thinking about Tyler and Jake being with them and how badly I wanted both of them to be with me. I just couldn’t concentrate. I had come so close with Jake and I still wanted to go all the way, to finally feel him inside me like I had wanted to so many times over the past two years. And Tyler… I had been with Tyler. The memory was still fresh and my ass was still a little tender. I wanted him again, in so many different ways, showing me all the things he learnt from his times with Joe. God, this is so messed up.
I tried everything I could to stop thinking about them, all four of them. I was so horny I felt like I could jerk off right there in the classroom and I wouldn’t have cared if everyone had watched me. I bit my lip and closed my eyes but that didn’t help because now instead of Jake, I saw Tyler AND Jake, together, taking turns fucking me while they smiled at each other; something that would never happen but that got me so hot I thought I was about to shoot hands-free in my pants.
I had to do something. I was panting and sweating and my throat felt drier than it ever had before. As discreetly as I could I tucked my cock under the waistband of my pants so no one would notice I was hard and I asked to be excused because I wasn’t feeling well. The teacher took one look at me and told me I better hurry so I did. I practically ran to the bathroom and didn’t stop until I was locked in one of the stalls.
My body just kind of collapsed down onto the seat and I threw my head back, wanting to scream. The only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t want anyone finding me in that condition. I was so hard it almost hurt and I had to pop open the buttons and pull down the zipper just to give my dick enough space to throb and pulse and breathe. My hand instinctively went down to stroke it and again I had to bite my lip to stop the moans that rose up from somewhere inside me.
I can’t have been in the bathroom for more than a minute, even though I felt like I was about to cum, when I heard the door open and I froze with my dick in my hand. I heard the footsteps coming closer and felt the panic rising up in my chest. I could barely breathe. My whole body was heaving in spasm and I knew whoever it was would hear me.
The door of the stall to my right squeaked open and I thought whoever the guy was had just come in to do his business and leave but when he stepped across in front of my stall and shoved open the door on my left I had no idea what was happening.
“Ev? Is that you in there?”
The voice was a whisper but I knew it was Tyler.
I gently eased myself up off the seat and reached over to the lock on the door, slipping it back so the door slowly creaked open. I don’t think I even realized that my dick was still in my hand until Tyler’s huge body stepped into the stall with me and I noticed he couldn’t take his eyes off it.
“What the Hell, Ev?” he whispered.
I couldn’t talk.
“I saw you run past my classroom and thought something was wrong,” Tyler said, still looking at my cock. “I got the teacher to excuse me so I could come and check on you but it turns out you just needed to blow a load so bad you couldn’t wait.”
He sounded disappointed and when he finally looked up into my eyes I saw the sadness in them that was there the day before in his car. He started to turn to leave but I put my hand up and stopped him.
“Please, Tyler, don’t,” I said.
He turned and looked me in the eye. I felt like he was tunnelling into my soul and it felt wrong to have my cock out so I quickly tucked it back in my pants.
“What happened?” I asked, staring up at him.
“When?” He said as if he really didn’t know.
“Yesterday. After you fucked me,” I said. “You just drifted off and acted like you couldn’t give two shits about me after you blew YOUR load. Then today you come in here all worried about me like you care.”
“I do care,” he said.
“Then what was that about yesterday?” I asked, my dick finally going down as things got more serious. “Why didn’t you reply to my text?”
He looked away from me before he spoke. “I needed time to think.”
“About what?” I had to probe when he stopped talking.
“About you. Us.” He said.
“Was I really that bad?” I asked.
“What?” Tyler replied, surprised.
“Was the sex that bad it made you rethink whether or not you want to be with me?”
Tyler laughed, “No. The sex was amazing. I loved every second of it. And seeing you here just now with your dick out made me want to fuck you all over again.”
“Then I don’t get it. What went wrong?”
Tyler looked away from me and then said, “I guess…”
“You guess what? Talk to me,” I said.
“I thought it would be different with you,” Tyler finally blurted out.
“Sex. I thought it would be different with you. I thought it would be more than just another fuck.”
I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say. Eventually I managed, “I don’t understand.”
“The way you held back, the way you waited, I thought losing your virginity would be a big deal. I thought we’d spend some time together and then we’d go to bed and I’d make love to you. I wanted to be with you afterwards; to kiss you, spoon you, hold you. All you wanted was my dick.”
“That’s not true,” I said, even though I knew he was right. I had been in a place where all I wanted was to have sex.
“Yes it is,” Tyler said. “You couldn’t even wait until we got somewhere, you just wanted at my cock and you were all over it while I was trying to drive. It was like the guy I thought you were didn’t exist. You were like someone else.”
“You still fucked me,” I said.
“Yeah, I did, because I still wanted you,” he said, “but if that was all I thought I was gonna get I could have stayed back after practice and fucked Joe all over the locker room. He would have let me.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I wanted more,” Tyler snapped. “I needed more. I’m sick of just being some dial-a-dick who gets a call whenever you or Joe or some slut needs a cock to ride. I want to be with someone. I want to feel like someone loves me as much as I love them. I thought you could give me what Joe can’t but I guess I was wrong.”
“No,” I said, feeling all warm inside from listening to his words. “You’re not wrong. I can’t say that I love you but I am feeling something and it goes way beyond sex. Whatever got into me yesterday, that’s not me, not really. I want the things you said. I’m sorry if I came on too strong but you are so hot.”
Tyler smiled, “So are you. But I want it to be about more than that.” He took my hand and laced our fingers together. “I might not be able to show you off in public but I’ll never lie to you or hide my feelings. I hope you’ll do the same.”
“I will,” I nodded.
Tyler quickly bent down and kissed me on the lips. He pulled open the stall door and quickly headed out, saying we better get back to class. Just as he was about to leave he turned back and walked right up to me where I was at the sink, about to start washing my hands.
“And next time,” he whispered in my ear, “I’m gonna take my time. I’m gonna spend hours inside you, kissing you, licking you. And when we’re done and you’re too exhausted to move I want you to fall asleep with your head on my chest and I’ll hold you.”
He ran his tongue along the skin behind my ear and then slapped my ass as he walked out of the bathroom and headed back to class. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror. There was a huge smile on my face and maybe even a sparkle in my eyes. It felt so good to finally know where Tyler stood and even though I felt a bit shit for wanting him for little more than sex the day before I felt happy knowing that things between us could actually go somewhere.
When I got back to class the teacher asked how I was feeling and I said much better. I must have looked better too now my dick was back under control since she just smiled at me and watched me sit down before she continued on with the lesson.
I made eye contact with Joe a few more times as the class continued and I couldn’t help but smile. I have no idea what was going through his mind but he must have thought I was a complete freak with the way I was grinning at him, knowing that I was going to get the dick that had been in both of us back inside me.
I was alone again for my next class and managed to make all of the necessary notes but my mind still drifted to Tyler and what we might do when we got together again. He said he wanted to take his time and I knew it would to totally different to being in the back of his car. It was exciting.
When the bell rang for lunch I headed out and was almost at my locker when I spotted Jake leaning up against it while he talked to one of his wrestling teammates. His own locker was wide open and I could see that he was in the process of swapping out his morning books for his afternoon books and his wrestling gear. I almost turned around and walked the other way but I knew I couldn’t be a coward and turn away every time I saw him. I needed to face him.
My legs trembled as they carried me closer to him. His back was to me so he never saw me approaching but his buddy, whose name escaped me, saw me and nodded since we were kind of passing acquaintances, which made Jake turn his head to look at me. The smile dropped off his face.
I stood there for a moment waiting for him to say something but neither of us spoke and I think the guy picked up on the tension because he quickly told Jake he’d see him at practice and left the two of us alone, not that we actually were alone in a hallway full of students.
“Can I get to my locker?” I asked, sounding pathetic. He never moved an inch, still pressing his hand against the metal. I waited for a few seconds but he still didn’t move and I’d had enough so I snapped, “Stop being such a dick and move your fucking hand.”
He moved his hand and stepped aside, keeping his back to me. I opened my locker and started swapping my own books, constantly feeling the presence of his huge body next to mine.
Slowly he turned until he was looking at me, it was more of a stare than a regular look.
“Yesterday never happened,” he whispered so no one else could hear.
What happened next is hard to explain. I felt like my stomach had dropped out and I was about to vomit up my insides because any slight hope that Jake wanted me was crushed, but I also felt the most overwhelming anger I have ever felt in my life. I wanted to kill him.
I whipped my head around to stare straight into his eyes and closed the gap between us so our noses were almost touching. I didn’t care who saw us now, he had it coming.
“What never happened?” I asked through gritted teeth. “You nearly kicking my ass and choking me out? You nearly fucking me, AGAIN? Or me catching you with Tina in the position you wanted me in that night we were wrestling?”
“You shut the fuck up,” Jake snarled.
“No,” I stood my ground. “You wanna do this, let’s do it. Get everything out in the open.”
“Outside, now,” Jake said as he slammed his locker shut and walked away.
I was stunned. I didn’t expect him to agree. I quickly threw my bag in my locker and went after him. I almost had to run to keep up with him as he made his way outside, past crowds of younger kids, and through the parking lot until we were standing in the far corner away from the school building, under the cover of a huge tree.
When he finally stopped he looked around to check that we were alone and then he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me close so he wouldn’t have to talk too loudly.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he spat.
“No, I don’t,” I shot back. “If I knew what was going on inside your head maybe this would be easier on both of us.”
“I’m not gay and you’re trying to make me gay.”
“How am I trying to make you gay?” I asked, supressing the laugh that almost came out.
“Oh please, Ev, give me a break. I’m talking about you coming on to me, telling me how much you love me and how much you want me to fuck you. What am I supposed to think?”
“You wanted me to be honest,” I said. “I’m not going to apologize for telling you the truth. If anyone says sorry it should be you for the way you had your arm across my throat. I never thought you’d try to hurt me, but you could have killed me.”
“Don’t overreact. It was just a warning,” Jake scoffed.
“About what?” I asked. “That I need to leave you alone and stop bringing up what we both know is the truth? You lashed out at me and got physical with me because you can’t handle the fact that you want me.”
“No it’s not. If Ryan and Emily hadn’t interrupted us you would have fucked me yesterday and we both know it.”
“Yeah I would have,” Jake snapped, shocking me, “but not because I wanted to fuck you.”
Now I was baffled. “What?”
“It was your fault.”
“How was it my fault?” I asked, amazed he was blaming me.
“You had to get your ass out, didn’t you? You couldn’t take no for an answer. Me saying I didn’t want it wasn’t enough for you, you thought what you wanted was more important. I was so horny yesterday I would have fucked anyone who gave me a mouth, pussy or ass to fuck. I’m just glad Ry and Em did turn up because they stopped me from making a huge mistake.”
I was stunned and didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say anything.
“I didn’t want it to come to this, Ev, but you pushed it too far,” Jake said. “I could accept that you have feelings for me. I could accept that you want to fuck me. What I can’t get over is how even after I made it clear I didn’t want to fuck you, that I made my choice and was going with Tina, you didn’t respect that and kept trying to get what you want. That’s not what a friend does. That’s not what someone who really loves you does.”
Jake’s words cut deep. My mind felt numb and when I opened my mouth it just hung open and I couldn’t say a word. I turned and walked away from him, out of the school gates and down the street. I just kept walking. I needed to be alone.
To Be Continued…