One would be truly surprised about what secrets may lay lurking in every corner and shadow ... I never had realized that till a few moments ago... There I was ... In my room ... In a dark night, and a dark purpose of mine making every shadow in the room seem brighter than the sun ... After all, plotting the death of your own blood is darker than the darkest shadows..


A week Earlier..

I got to my room, and i started reading The Fault In Our Stars, I was quite attached to the story.. seeing that the main character is suffering from cancer... Which was the reason of my father's passing .. He had passed away back in 2009 from Leukemia. I was only 13 then.. Not knowing better.. And blissfully unaware of what i know now... If only i could erase what i know from my head...

My father was my hero.. He was my everything as a child.. He provided for me, he gave me everything i had ever wanted.. and for the entire lifetime that he was alive for, he made sure that me and my family had had everything we needed, and never had gone through a night in need of anything.. He was the kindest man alive, and he was never as mean as most fathers are .. He was never harsh...

He had his ways of punishing which had killed me on the inside.. Yet never had he harmed any of us, neither as children, nor as grown ups (In the case of my sisters) .. and as for him and my mother... I had never witnessed a love as powerful and as strong as theirs... and I could just see is as bright as day in the way they looked at each other..

I had always thought that my family that was like every other boring family, with no big secrets ... Well at least with non that could bring the entire family down to the ground and end all communication between most if not all parties... How wrong was I ...

Anyway back to the actual story line, I was reading the book, and i heard my phone ring.. I checked and it was my friend Angie checking up on how i was.. We just texted for a while talking about the fault in our stars discussing my theories regarding what the ending maybe like.. and her teasing me about them.

"Hey Adam can i ask you about something" Angie said in a tone that meant that she was either gonna be serious or unsure of what she wants... "Yeah?" I replied kinda curious about what she feels like she needs to ask about before even asking me ...

"well, it's about your dad.. i wanna know how he got it ... Did the doctors say what was the main reason for his cancer?" She asked and i could hear the hesitation in her voice ... I took in a deep breath and thought lond and hard, remembering everything.... "well, i blame the smoking, but to be honest there were other factors, although i never got to know them... I over heard my mom talking to someone and she was discussing it, and that one of the main reasons is due to severe cases of depression.. or something like that" I said trying to remember as much as i could, making sure i dont leave much out..

"im sorry if i brought back bad memories" Angie said with an apologetic tone .. "its okay.. you havent brought back anything back ... Just some unanswered questions that i want to be answered" i say rather lost in my own train of thought as to what my mother had meant..

I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about it ... And i thought i should check my dad's journals and the letters he had ... Maybe they had something ... I was about to start getting them outta the storage space, but mom called from the kitchen saying that dinner was done .. "Coming Mom" i said rather loudly for her to hear all the from the other end of the apartment .. "So how is your book? Any murders like in those James Patterson books of yours?" Mom asked as she was slicing some cuts from meat and pouring herself a cup of diet soda..

"I'm quite enjoying it, and no this one is of a different direction... Although it does have a girl with lung cancer, a boy with bone cancer, and a third with eye cancer who had to be blind to live ... Its kinda depressing really when saying it out loud" i said kinda sarcastic... "You and your prefered genre, i'll never understand" My mom laughed and continued eating .. Mom was more into reading history and spy stuff, not always what i prefer ..

"Mom, can i ask you something about dad?" I asked. "sure" Mom said clearing her throat. "did dad suffer from depression or any psychological issues?" i asked. Next thing i knew her face had gone pale.

"what makes u ask such question?" She asked looking me straight in the eyes ... My mom could read me like a book. "What makes you avoid answering right away?" I looked her back in the eyes rather insistent for an answer.

"No" she said "and you are never to bring something as ridiculous as that up, have i made myself clear?" She added ... "Yes, Ma'am" i said knowing that she was hiding something from me, and i knew the only way to get the answers i want would be playing it as if nothing had ever happened..

I was on a mission to find out what the truth is.. Even if the odds are all against me.

I had to wait till the following day, Mom was going out to run some errands. I knew that would've been my chance to start snooping around and searching.. But for now, i just had me time planning and putting the worst misshapes in my mind... After all, those who expect all scenarios are the ones who suffer the least..

While I was thinking about everything, I was interrupted by the sound of a notification from my phone. I picked it up, and i found that i had received a text from someone on grindr, I opened the app and i checked out the text, it was from this dude... He looked like a promising project for one of the sexiest bears you would ever meet... Right amount of hair, and right amount of muscles.. And i hoped the right amount of junk..

"Hi" He texted.. "Hey" I responded .. "Name's Marco" He says .. "Adam" I say kinda waiting for le sexy advance ... He sent me 2 pics of him .. and a naked pic... AND OH MY DAYS did he look FINE ... Like Boy he FINE!! .. "I would gladly send you the same kind of pics... But i havent taken any, and im not in a position to take one now" I said ... "Well, How about you come show me instead?" He said, and he shared his location via the app, and he wasn't that far from me .. Just a max of 20 minutes walking between our places ... "Okay, Gimmie 45 Minutes and i'll be there" I text.. "Amma be waitin'" He replies

I took a quick shower, got into a pair of peach shorts, and a blue shirt, Ending it with a pair of navy Blue shoes and minty bubble gum.. OH, and i'd gone commando... I got my phone, headphones and walked it all the way .. I'm really into walking.. It became a healthy habit of mine.. I reached his place.. "I'm there, shall i come up?" I texted.. less than a minute later i received his text.. "yeah sure, 15th Floor, 32nd APT" I'd gone up, and went to the door with a 32 on top.. I almost knocked on the door, and it opened, revealing this totally hot person ... Brown hair, brown eyes, brown beard, and the light caramel skin tone that i wanted to lick all the way up and down..

A 27 year old specimen of perfection.. there he stood, in a blue blazer, a white shirt, and khaki shorts .. and white slippers.. his hair done in a way very close to mine. "Please, come in" He said flashing some perfect white teeth.. I'd gone in and i took a quick glance at his house.. It was furnished with someone who had taste.. He took me to the living room .. "Water or Soda?" He offered .. "Water would be just perfect" I replied, and i watched his beautiful muscled ass move in his shorts as he went to get me water ... I loved how well groomed he was..

"There you go"He came back with a bottle.. "Thanks" I replied, as i opened it and took a few sips.. "You have a very nice home" I said standing up, looking around the living room... "Well it has a really sexy centrepiece" He said smiling ... I turned to him and he winked .. "Oh does it now?" I said as I walked slowly towards the greyish white couch he was sitting on.. I got on top of him and Softly kissed him on his luscious rosy lips, his hands on my waist, and as the kiss broke, we both had lust stronger than unbridled passion in a night of sensuality ..

"How about we take this inside?" He said with this devilish grin that made him look sexy as ever .. "Lead the way" I said smiling.. He took me to his room, and as soon as we entered i was struck by the beauty of the city by night .. It was amazing, and the streets looked so busy with life, and it was simply beautiful.. His room was this shade of blue and grey, with darkwood furniture, and parkée floor ... He came up behind me, and held me from the back.. "Quite the view isnt it?" He said softly in my ear and i could feel his well trimmed beard against my skin .. I turned around to him "The best" I said as i leaned in and kissed him again.. We kissed for a few minutes .. I took his blazer off, and we unbuttoned each other's shirts, and we were just in our shoes and shorts... He took me by the hand to his bed, and we kissed some more, and then we kicked our shoes off, and took off our shorts .. Me being commando i was naked, and him .. he was in this beautiful pair of CK ..

"Aren't you the sight" I said as i started nibbling on his neck, and then I lightly bit his earlobe .. It sent shockwaves through his body, and its like i unlocked something deep inside .. This wild animal that was waiting for its prey.. Me.. He laid me back on his bed, and he got on top of me .. He kissed me softly .. Biting my bottom lip every now and then , and he applied the right amount of pressure .. I was in heaven ... Then he Started kissing and sucking my neck, and he then went down on my chest, and started licking and teasing one nipple with his tongue and teeth, and pinched and tweaked the other with his hands .. It was amazing .. I was moaning ..

He then started kissing his way down till he reached the top of my cockhead and he let out this hot breath out of his mouth directed at my pink mushroom head pulsing with life, energy, and blood... He got back up and as he was getting up I let my fingers on the side of his boxers, and i slipped them off his beautiful pink ass ... and he got back to kissing me .. I flipped us and I was on top of him .. I licked his nipples, and tweaked the other ... I  Figured out his  spots, and i bit his bottom lips, and i then started kissing down his neck slowly down to his abs, and i licked them, and kissed each and everyone of them...

I reached down his cock... His beautiful 7.5 inches galore, and i had so much fun teasing him.. but i skipped his cock and went straight to his balls, and i blew the same amount of hot breath on his balls, and they were sweating, and they smelt so good .. the right amount of manly musk and soap ... I licked them and i heard him take a sharp breath, and I then started licking up all the way to his mushroom head, and then I took it all in at once, and went in deep..

"Fuck!! Don't Stop!" He said as he grabbed my hair and pushed me further down, although I already had had his entire tool inside my mouth and against the back of my throat, I worked my mouth around the hot flesh rod.. "OH MY FUCKING GOD" He moaned out loudly .. I was so turned out by him, and I went back up and kissed him gently with a great amount of passion..

He turned us back to him being on top, and then he went down on me and took my entire cock into his hot watery mouth, I was in another world, and he licked it all the way up and down, while playing with my balls and sending me into a crazy frenzy ... "FUCK ME" I said "I want you in me" I added in a demanding tone ... I knew he was happy to oblige, and i was contempt.. He flipped my on my stomach, and I was on all fours, exposing my smooth ass to him, and I just let him do his magic..

He started licking my sweaty hole, in and out, and probing me with his tongue "Fuck yeah" I moaned loudly and continuously ... I wanted him to take a bite of my meat, and I wanted nothing else in the world other than his continuous sweaty delicious sex.. He was my current religion.. He knew we couldn't hold off any longer.. He got some lube and a condom .. He lubed up his fingers, and slowly finger fucked me till he got three fingers in me ... Then het put on his condom, and applied some more lube ... and then he slowly pushed his mushroom head till it all popped in, and then inch by inch he slid inside of me making me moan harder and harder... Minimum pain, and maximum pleasure ... My eyes were wide open, and i couldnt see anything ...

He could have my body and do whatever he wants with it.. I gave in completely, and i just wanted more and more of him... he picked up his fuck pace ... Faster , Faster, Harder, and Stronger ... we were making noises ... Me moaning, him grunting, his balls and thighs slapping into my ass, making noises at collision, and the pleasure i felt was stronger than anything i had ever felt... I was professionally fucked.. He knew exactly what he was doing.. He hit all the right places, and his cock found my prostate ... I screamed with so much pleasure...

"Fuck your ass is so tight" He said between grunts, letting me have all of his power and cock.. and it was the best experience of my life ... "FUCK YEAH" I said.. We then got into missionary, and he was fucking my brains out... It was only a matter of minutes i came all over me and him... "FUUUUUCK !!!!!" I never came so strongly... I never had an orgasm as hot as that one... I came long thick ropes that streamed all over him and me, and on the walls, and the bed... He got out of me, took off his condom, and furiously jacked off and it only took him 10 seconds, as he did exactly the same... His body collapsed on top of mine, with a thud ...

we were both out of breath, mind , and space ... "You can stay over if you want" He said between breaths ... "I know i would like it if you would" he added ... "Okay" I texted my mom telling her i wont be home that night... and it was only a matter of moments till we were both deep asleep in each other's arms, still naked, and covered in our own sperm ...

I woke up the following day, and his arm was draped over me and things were just amazing, the sunlight filling the room, and he was soon awake as well ... "Morning Gorgeous" I said .. "Morning" He smiled .. The room was really stinky .. and we smelt .. the entire room smelt like sex ... We got out of the bed, and took a shower together .. we lathered each other up, and almost initiated another session of hot flaming fucking ... But he had to go work, and i needed to get back home..

We both got dressed ... I wore the same clothes from the previous day, and he wore his suit and tie ... we left .. He took his car and took off .. I went to starbucks... Ordered Double caramel Laté, extra coffee .. I took my cup and walked home ... I dunno why its called the walk of shame .. I was quite proud to be walking home in the previous night's outfit, my face glowing like angels were kissing it all night long ... I felt perfect!!

I got back in home .. Mom was awake, and she was getting dressed .. I asked her what's she up to.. "I'm just going out with my sisters for breakfast, and maybe to the club for some fun in the sun" she said... She told me to get her the pearl Gucci watch from her closet.. I went and i opened the drawer where she keeps the boxes containing the watches.. And i accidentally kicked the lower part of the drawer... and it felt Hollow.. I knelt down, and i checked it out.. i knocked a bit .. And i knew .. That certainly was hollow... I got back up quickly and got her the watch

I waited till she left, and she told me she left me some money on the counter in the kitchen incase i needed anything... "Thanks, Mum" I said, and as soon as she left I locked the door to the house, and i ran to her closet... I went beneath the drawer, and i checked the same hollow place .. I kept knocking around, trying to figure out how it could be opened ... I then decided that i could try applying pressure from the left side to sorta push it inward and try to pry it open ...

As soon as i pushed it from the side .. It slid to an angle of 45 degrees.. and i saw them ... Four journals from the last four years of my father's life ... I took them and I got into my room, and i opened the first one... I lsat on my bed, and opened the journal taking a deep breath having no idea what to expect.

I opened the journal and i started reading.. It had its first entry... I started reading .. page after page after page ... My eyes widening by the time i got to the 70th page of the journal ... For the things that the journal contained changed everything i had known about my mother, my father, and my eldest sister ... And how the ride just got super bumpy ...


Hey guys .. .sorry for the delay in the upload ... I had had my midterms and so much had been going on with my life .. You'll know soon enough... Anyway .. You could follow me on twitter @Adhamjan and you could reach me on my email [email protected]



[email protected]


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