'Did you get the chicken blood?' Neville asked me when I got back from
'Yeah, I got it.' I said. 'The butcher gave me a funny look. I said it
was for a chemistry experiment. I don't think he believed me, but I got
'Why don't you think he believed you?'
'Because of what he said when he gave me the chicken blood.'
''Bon appetit, Herr Dracula.''
'Great, our butcher's a comedian.'
'You drew the pentagram?'
'Yeah, in the basement.'
'Why the basement?'
'You ever try to draw a pentagram on shag carpet? The only bare floor
we have in this house is either in the basement or in the kitchen.'
'Great. The basement will be creepy enough. Plenty of spiderwebs and
roaches around for the Devil to nibble on if he gets the munchies.'
'I was reading it. One thing the spell doesn't tell us about.'
'Do we stand inside or outside of the pentagram when we cast the
I thought about it. 'Well, where's the Devil going to appear?'
'It doesn't say for sure. It just says he's supposed to appear in the
room with us.'
'Outside the pentagram, most likely. Then I'm going to be INSIDE the
'Me, too. Theo, tell me one thing.'
'Are we nuts?'
I shrugged. We'd found the old book of spells at a garage sale, and it
had a lot of pages missing, just ripped out of it. What was weird about
this book was that the spells in it seemed to work. I'd tried it first; I
used the spell to get rid of warts on a bump I'd had on my chest forever,
and it just dropped right off. Then Neville used it to get rid of his
nearsightedness, he no longer had to wear glasses. After that, we were
believers and our only gripe was all those missing pages. Working spells
that we'd never get to use.
But this spell was a big one. Summon the Devil with this spell, and
he'd be trapped for the night, and compelled to grant you three wishes. The
rest of the spells in the book were of the remove-a-wart variety but this
one...well, you can see why two college guys with no social life and no
future would figure 'What the hell?'
Let me introduce us as we were then, so you'll appreciate our
situation. Neville was five foot seven, skinny and gangly with acne all
over his face. No spells in the book to remove acne. Nor for me, to remove
the fat I'd been lugging around with me for as long as I could
remember. Okay, so I like to eat a quart of ice-cream while watching TV at
night. And I flunked out of physical education. Like I said, a couple of
total losers, we'd been lucky to find each other, two gay trolls, even if
we didn't find each other appealing. We'd had sex a couple of times (who
else were we going to do it with?) and every time we finished, we swore
never to do it again. We just weren't compatible that way. If the book had
had a workable love-spell, we wouldn't be trying to solve all our problems
by summoning up the Big One Himself to solve them for us. Like I said, a
book with a lot of pages missing, or we wouldn't have touched that spell
for anything. As it was...we were that desperate, and can you blame us?
So I went out to buy a pint of chicken's blood and some other stuff I
won't mention to you (for reasons you'll understand later) and Neville had
the job of setting up the house we shared for the spell.
As the sun set, we went down into the basement. Stepping carefully
into the pentagram so as not to smudge the lines, we two geeks crowded
together. Two naked geeks, I should say, for the spell required us to not
'Okay, you want to start up the music.' I said when the last of the
sun went below the horizon, and the first star of night appeared.
'How am I going to start up the music when I'm in here?' Neville
'Same way we're going to pour this stuff into a brazier. You got the
'I took the top off the barbecue grill. Presto, instant brazier.'
'Okay, the creepy music. You figured that out? The spell doesn't say
'I did what I could.'
'I say we stand outside the pentagram, pour in the stuff and we'll say
the last few lines from inside the pentagram.'
'Start up the music.'
I got the fire going in the barbecue grill bottom. Some sticks and a
wad of newspaper, a match and it was burning as well as it was going
to. Then the music started.
'He did the Mash!
He did the monster Mash!
The Monster Mash!
It was a graveyard smash!'
'Criminy, Neville, couldn't you find anything better than that?
Something really creepy, like Alice Cooper or John Tesh?' I complained.
'Hey, they don't have a Creepy Music section at Virgin Records, you
know! It was this or generic haunted house sounds.'
'All right, all right, I guess it'll have to do.' I said.
The spell was a short one, and the five items we poured in turned the
barbecue grill into a smoking behemoth. Chicken blood really stinks when
you pour it into a flame.
We got to the last few lines and I tossed in the (blank) and jumped
into the pentagram and shouted the last couple of phrases.
Nothing happened. Just a hell of a lot of smoke.
'Nothing happened.' I said to Neville at my side.
'I wouldn't say that.' said someone right behind us. And a red hand
clamped onto my shoulder. From close behind me. Very close behind me.
I gave out a shriek and leaped out of the pentagram, but Neville did
it even better, he did a tuck-and-roll that upended the brazier and sent
burning debris all over the basement. Good thing the basement was mostly
empty, it all ended up around the furnace and we could ignore it, which we
did, because You-Know-Who was standing inside the pentagram.
Just like you always visualized him. Long white horns on his head, red
skin, barbed tail, hooved feet and an evil grin.
'You're new at this, aren't you, kids?' he said.
'Yeah.' I gulped. I thought about running, but yeesh, he was between
us and the stairs, and the windows were too small for me to get
through. What else was there to do but act brave and hope for the best.
'Are you really the Devil?' Neville asked.
'Not me!' the thing said. 'You think the Big Guy has nothing better to
do than to make personal appearances in basements?'
'Then who are you?' I said, feeling bolder. After all, he was inside
the pentagram and we were outside it.
'Think of me as the local representative. I cover the Valley area of
Los Angeles. You used the old three-wishes spell, and I can do enough for
your puny little appetites. Are you both really that ignorant?'
'Yeah.' I said. 'Are we, like, totally screwed?'
'Totally, dudes!' He agreed. 'But I'll cut you two a break, it's been
a while since anyone actually tried to summon up one of us. You get three
wishes just like it says and I won't even try to jerk you around on how I
grant them, the way I would for the one-wish spell.'
'Why do you jerk people around on the one-wish spell?' Neville wanted
'Because in that case, we wait until the people are dead to collect
'Wait until they're dead?' I said. 'Then you...and we....'
'Are headed together for the Great Down Under just as soon as day
breaks. Didn't you read the rest of the book? Ah, there it is, I'll show it
to you.' And the devil stepped right out of the pentagram.
'Uh, you can get out of the pentagram?' I asked.
'What are you, stupid?' the devil sneered. 'I can manipulate time and
space, I can make the oceans split open, I can make the sun stand
still. You really expect a bit of chalk on the floor to stop me?'
'Well...yeah!' I said.
'Well...wrong!' the devil looked at the book. 'No wonder you're both
so ignorant, the book is missing all the pages about how the spell
works. You two did this with just the spell itself? Whoa, major stupid,
'We know that now.' I said. 'Uh, now that we know, can we refuse the
wishes and you just go away and leave us here?'
'Sorry, it doesn't work that way.' the devil said almost
sympathetically. 'Really, I feel sorry for you two geeks, it must be shitty
trying to get laid looking like you do. Like I said, I won't cheat you on
the wishes, just make sure that they can be finished up before
daybreak. And don't ask for stuff like world peace or an end to hunger, the
Big Guy doesn't like people messing around with his successes; I'd have to
twist the wishes on you and I said I wasn't going to do that.'
'Do we each get three wishes?' Neville asked.
'Nope, three total, and forget about asking as your last wish that I
not take your souls, or for more wishes, or some such. You're getting a
break on your wishes because I feel sorry for you ninnies, that's all. With
two guaranteed souls on my balance sheet for tonight, I'm inclined to be
generous. Tell you what, you can make the wish include both of you on
whatever it is you wish for. So figure out what you want to wish for; speak
among yourselves or such.'
I quickly went into a huddle with Neville. 'What are we going to do?'
'We have to outwit him.' I said. 'And that takes information.' I broke
'Uh, Mr. Devil, sir.' I said to him.
'Hm? What is it?'
'Uh...What is your name, anyway?'
The devil looked reluctant. 'Promise you won't laugh. It sounds funny
'Laughing is the last thing on my mind just now.' I said. 'And my
first name is Theophilus.' Try growing up with that one! The awfulest.
'It's...it's Roxinyuras.' he admitted, looked abashed. Then
defensively, 'It means 'Painful Torment' in Old Sumerian.'
'Doesn't sound that comfortable in English, either.' Neville said
'Your mom got cute naming you, too, huh?' I said sympathetically.
'Nah, I was just near the end of the line when the Big Guy was naming
us.' he said. 'I think he was getting bored trying to come up with names
that would make people shudder with fear. Or he was just running out of
names, it took nearly a half million years to name all of us.'
'You say the pentagram won't hold you. Is there anything that will
'Nothing you could do.' Roxinyuras said. 'The only thing that would
put me under your power is if I'm still here when the sun comes up and I
have to do that myself. I do that and I'm your slave for the rest of
eternity. But I'm not going to do that. I feel sorry for you chumps, but
not that sorry.'
'I see.' I said.
Back into the huddle.
'I got an idea.' I said to Neville. 'Just you ask him for the wish we
agreed on for both of us, and let me do the last two.'
'I sure hope you know what you're doing.' Neville said.
'So do I.' I said fervently.
'Okay, we're ready to start wishing.' Neville said to Roxinyuras.
'So go ahead and wish. Like I said, I'll be generous.'
Neville looked at me and said, 'I wish that Theo and me both looked
just the way we always wanted to look. You know, handsome, muscular,
sexy. Can I say that last part as part of the wish?'
'You can.' Roxinyuras said. And he just smiled...nothing else.
It was the damnedest feeling. Not bad, not at all. Just like...well, I
was five foot four before the wish, I grew a foot in about two
seconds. Like riding on an elevator, only more so, in all directions,
that's the best I can describe it. I could feel my body changing.
I looked over at Neville...and drooled. He was now a good deal taller,
and a hell of a lot more handsome. His acne was gone, his face and body had
filled out. I can only describe him by saying he was like the guy who
played Tarzan on the television show, Something Ely. Only his face was more
like Hugh Grant's, sort of sweet-boy-next-door. He smiled and his teeth
were now clear and even. His body was cleanly muscular, not chiseled out of
marble, but molded out of soft, luscious clay, sleek and clean of body
I looked down at myself and saw a nice shelf of pec muscles and a good
scattering of chest hair. Good. 'I got to find a mirror.'
'One's over there.' Neville said, pointing.
It was an oval mirror that swiveled, God knows why. But I got over to
it and looked.
A chiseled, square face looked back at me. God, even a handsome
dusting of shadow-beard. Deep brown eyes under a shelf of eyebrows, thick
and mysterious. I'd dreamed about this man for as long as I could
remember...now I WAS him! I was my favorite fantasy lover!
'Yowzah!' I shouted. 'Neville, we are two gorgeous hunks!'
A red body stepped up behind us and I saw that Roxinyuras was some
seven feet tall. Not counting the horns, even, he towered over us. 'Ready
for your second wish?'
It was time. 'Yeah.'I said and took a deep breath.
You have to realize that I didn't KNOW this was going to work. But it
was our only chance I could see.
'I wish that I had a totally irresistible ass.' I said.
'It's already cute.' Neville said, not understanding.
'I don't mean cute, I mean irresistible. Anybody who sees it naked
like now is going to want to stick their dick in it, and when they do, they
won't ever want to take it out and won't unless I say they can. And I wish
you had the same kind of dick, anyone sees Neville's dick will want to suck
it and once they start sucking, they'll never want to stop and won't until
he asks them to..' I said. 'Long as we keep them covered, we're safe, but
we show it off, and the guy comes running.' I watched our red companion
through the mirror. If he caught on....
Roxinyuras shrugged. 'Why not?' he said. 'It goes with the bodies, I
I felt the tingle again, this time in my ass.'
I tried to stroll nonchalantly back to the pentagram. I felt two pairs
of eyes boring into my ass. My naked ass. Neville and I were only friends
because he didn't like anal sex, he preferred oral. Receiving oral, that
is. I wanted a handsome stud to fuck me and never stop. So we had that on
our side on this wish, Roxinyuras could look into whatever he looked into
and see that we really preferred these two kinds of sex.
'I'm ready for the third wish.' I said coyly. I had to seduce a devil
armed with an irresistible ass. I bent over and spread my ass wide. 'God,
my ass feels so alive and ready. All it needs is a big, thick dick to stick
in it. Mmm, I can just feel it coming at me, right now.' I looked back over
my shoulder and licked my lips insolently.
'I work good magic.' Roxinyuras said. His eyes were fixed on my
ass. Yeah, he wanted it.
The third wish is that you get over here and fuck my ass,
Roxinyuras. I want you to give me the best fuck I've ever had. And Neville,
I want you to suck on Neville while you're doing it, give him the best
blowjob anyone ever had. Let us test this new irresistible butthole.'
Would he do it? And would I be able to stand it? It was our only
I felt the hands clench on my waist, a faint hint of claws indenting
my skin. I braced myself.
And sheer delight penetrated my anus. Total, ecstatic delight! It was
the feeling you get when you taste ice cream on a hot day. It was the
feeling of winning first prize. It was all that, and a tingle of sexual
electricity that danced along my spine while I felt totally warm and full
'You like that?' Roxinyuras purred in my ear.
'Oh, yeah!' I moaned. 'I take it you're granting my wish for me,
'Easiest one of all.' Roxinyuras cooed. 'Any devil is a better lover
than a human. Anything I do will be the best sex you ever had.'
'Mmmh! You do a lot of that down there?' I asked him.
'In Hell?' Roxinyuas said. 'No, every pleasure is forbidden to human
souls there. We let the souls down there feel it a little bit, just so
they'll know exactly what they're missing, then we keep it from them,
teasing them, egging them on and then turning them down. But you, for your
wish, tonight, you get it all. The best sex you ever had.'
'What about me?' Neville said. With my ass occupied, Neville wasn't
craving it any longer, but he did have the sight of a red-skinned devil
fucking my ass to turn him on. Not to mention the promise of the best
blowjob he'd ever had! 'My turn, too.'
'Give it here, mortal.' Roxinyuras said. 'Feel the joys of my mouth on
your prick, you'll love every second.'
'Uh, huh, guh!' Neville said and I heard a slurping sound from
Roxinyuras. I had to see, I craned my neck around and saw Neville's dick,
big, thick and beautiful, going into that savage, sharp-toothed
mouth...which was treating it with tender attention and delicate passion.
Neville grabbed Roxinyuras' horns and began to hunch at that mouth and
Roxinyuras let him do it...and I had to turn back around, for Roxinyuras
had paused while he started sucking Neville, but he was starting in again!
'Oooh, yeah, fuck my butt, you horny devil you!' I moaned. 'Fuck me
nice and hard, give me the best damned fuck anyone's ever had! That was my
wish, grant it, you denizen of the underworld!'
Roxinyuras wasn't the least offended (I had only spoken simple truth,
he was a horny devil from the underworld), his hands clenched tighter and I
had pinpricks of nails in my skin to drive me up the wall! 'Ooh, oh, ow!' I
moaned, pain mixing with pleasure until they were one and the same.
Roxinyuras let go of me then and used just the bottom half of his body
to fuck me. Now my only sensation was that dong, that wonderful, powerful,
superhuman dong! It slammed into me and my prostate was mauled with joy, it
pulled out and my very soul was pulled with it, I felt horribly empty with
it at its furthest withdrawal and then...wham! Full again, wonderfully,
I groaned, I was at climax, too soon, too soon! No use, I couldn't
hold it back though I tried, I really tried, but that cock owned me then,
owned me totally. Orgasm clenched the back of my neck like a dog while my
cock burst apart in multi-colored splendor (well, it felt like that,
anyway, I had my eyes shut tight), every nerve in my prick was jangling at
full intensity, I was spraying my jism all over the protective pentagram,
my sole protection against this devil that had me in his clutch, driving a
pole of delight into me over and over, and I was washing it away with my
jizz, it poured out of me, a hard, fast gush of jism, coating and
distorting the pentagram.
Done, emptied, totally dry, I sagged onto the floor.
'Ready to quit?' Roxinyuras asked me. I looked up and he was sucking
Neville still without a break, he could talk without using his
mouth...well, if he could move mountains, he could certainly do that.
'No!' I gasped out. 'Do it again, keep on fucking me!'
'Very well.' And the cock, still warm, still big, still full, began to
pump in and out of me again with undiminished vigor.
'Didn't you come?' I gasped as I felt the sensations rising inside of
'I can choose when and how much I want to ejaculate.' Roxinyuras said.
'Uh, uh, huh, HUH, GUH-HUHHHH!' Neville was shooting his wad into
Roxinyuras' mouth and I turned to watch him drink down Neville's
come. Thirstily, like he enjoyed it.
'I want you to come when I do.' I said. 'Have orgasms right alongside
'You are out of wishes.'
'I don't care.' I said. 'It's part of the last one. I want this to be
the best fuck you ever had, too.'
'All right.' Roxinyuras agreed. 'From now on, we will all climax
together, I promise you.'
I wondered for a moment if I had put anything over on him. Probably
not. Well, at least I was getting the best fuck I'd ever had. And it was
going to last all night long.
And it did. I stayed the rest of that night on that basement floor,
being fucked by the devil Roxinyuras. We moved into different positions, me
on my back, him holding me in his arms, everything you can think of and
still get fucked, including some positions I was sure were against the laws
of gravity, and of probability, and of common sense, like his holding me
just by his cock in my ass and his hands in mine, me bouncing back and
forth on his cock with my legs flailing wildly on every side.
Neville had his positions, too, like sitting on Roxinyuras's
shoulders, upside down with his hands on the floor with Roxinyuras standing
to fuck me (like I said, some of these positions defied logic; don't ask me
to explain how, they just were!) It was everything I'd ever wanted in sex,
all of it, one glorious, glittering, star-spangled night of climax piled
upon climax, over and over again.
I lost all track of time, which suited me after a while. This could be
my eternity if it wanted to be, I couldn't imagine a better heaven than to
be in this endless sexual ecstasy.
'It's nearly dawn.' Roxinyuras said after some endless time later.
'Oh.' I said, deflated. 'Just finish me off one more time, and I'll
let you go if you want to.' The long night of orgiastic delights was
drawing to an end, and soon it would be the eternal flames and NO MORE SEX,
EVER! But I couldn't gripe, so my idea of keeping Roxinyuras too busy
fucking to notice the time hadn't worked. It'd been three great wishes, I
couldn't complain too much.
Roxinyuras fucked me lustily, heartily, I felt climax rising in me
like it was the first time, and KA-WHAM! Climax assaulted my senses, washed
through and over me, and I sprayed my last load (still full-bodied and
thick thanks to Roxinyuras' improvements), this time onto Roxinyuras'
stomach for I was on top of him and so was Neville.
Neville gave a groan and Roxinyuras drank him down and we were silent.
'Okay, Roxinyuras.' I said. 'You got us fair and square. We'll go
quietly, no complaints.'
'Yeah.' Neville said.
'Only I'm really going to miss not being able to do this any more.' I
'Yeah.' Neville said. 'You're a great cocksucker.'
'And a great fuck-buddy.'
'The absolute best.'
'I'm just sorry it's over.'
A pause. 'What do you mean, over, human worms!' Roxinyuras
roared. 'We'll be done when I say, not you!'
And he began to fuck me again, I was bouncing on his cock, like in
freefall, or like a dancing toy on a pull-stick like you sometimes see in
antique shops, Neville was being sucked once again. It was marvelous, it
was terrific, it went on until the window on the east lit up in a blaze of
yellow glory that hit us all of a sudden, clean sunlight on red skin.
Roxinyuras howled! Moaned, like he was burning, and I was worried
about him (really, I was! That was one great fuck I'd been having!), so I
jumped off his cock and over to the window, covered it hastily with a
'Are you all right?' I asked him, Neville standing over Roxinyuras,
him sitting on the floor, his knees in his arms, curled up and rocking on
his buttocks like that, like a wounded child.
'I didn't do it, I didn't do it!' He moaned. 'I couldn't have!'
'Daylight.' Neville confirmed. 'You were still here and the sun came
up and it got you fair and square.'
I was thinking over what he'd said. 'Uh, does that mean you're our
'I'm a devil no longer. Now, I'm a djinn.' he said.
I realized.... 'That's why we needed the empty bottle and a good cork
for it!' I said.
'My new home.' Roxinyuras said. 'I am doomed to grant your every wish
for the rest of your lives, and longer if you ask me to. You can remain
eternally young, eternally beautiful and eternally rich. It is now yours
for the asking.'
'Wow!' I said.
'Oh-oh! My first century on the job, and I already blew it!'
Roxinyuras moaned. 'The Big Guy will never let me live it down when I tell
'When will you tell him?'
'At the end of time.' Roxinyuras said.
'Uh, that'll be a while, won't it?'
'Several hundred millenia.' Roxinyuras agreed.
'Then let's worry about that when it happens.' I said. 'We'll be with
you when you tell him, we promise. You're our pal.'
'Sure.' I said. 'You have just teamed up with the two biggest losers
mankind ever had. And you a loser-type devil. We three were meant to be
Roxinyuras smiled faintly. 'You'll let me out of the bottle
'Every night, so I can get to ride that dick of yours some more.' I
agreed. 'Now that I got the devil in me, I don't ever want to let it out.'
'Yeah. And I might want a blowjob or two in the afternoons, too.'
Neville chipped in.
Smiling at us pathetically gratefully, Roxinyuras turned into a puff
of smoke that wafted over into a thin line, trickled into the bottle. I
waited until it was all inside and then put the stopper in.
'Well, we have ourselves a genie.' I said.
'I guess that's better than having a lot of things.' Neville agreed.
'Our every wish granted.'
'And every question answered.' Neville agreed.