Jerome woke with a start. Something had scared him; his breath coming in fast, short gasps. Something wasn't right. He stared into the pitch darkness, eyes like saucers, trying to see... something, anything. A noise to the left. He holds his breath, waiting for.... but nothing happens and Jerome realises he must breath or face his own death from self imposed asphyxiation. For the next few minutes Jerome lays silently listening to every creak and groan, the same as he had every night since it happened.
Just six months had past since the accident and Jerome had not recovered enough to even talk to his therapist at school yet. He had been with Todd when it had happened. So fast, it all happened so fast. His brother hadn't stood a chance: the impact of the truck had killed him instantly. Everyone said to Jerome that he should at least be pleased that Todd hadn't suffered, but they didn't see the crash, they didn't hear the cry of fear that was cut off half way through being expelled. Most of all though, Jerome knew it was all his fault.
Jerome was almost two years younger than Todd but other than that they could've been twins. Jerome always seemed just a touch smaller and less well developed but was nonetheless a very fit and sporty guy . They both had the same dirty blond hair that always went sun bleached in the summer sun, fair skin that tanned easily and piercing blue eyes that their Mother had said came from her father. They'd never met him because he died before they were born but neither their Mother nor Father had blue eyes so it seemed reasonable enough.
In his mind Jerome had played the events over and over again, always looking for a sign that it wasn't his doing, that things would've been the same no matter what the conversation. But it was always the same. Todd had been going for interviews with various Universities for the last few weeks and today was a second interview with his favourite choice. Jerome met him at the train station and has asked how it had gone, 'So 'big bruv' they gonna take you away from me then?'
'Hey there Jez, it's only Uni' and London's only a couple hours away, we can still visit. So anyway what brings you down here, don't tell me you cycled all the way to the station just to meet me,' Todd was happy at that moment, Jerome could tell just by looking at his face.
'Well, I, erm, I kinda wanted to talk to you, but not at home,' Jerome managed almost whispering and wishing to himself that he hadn't decided to do this.
'Well you talk away Jez, I leave for Uni at the end of the summer so say what you wanna say now 'cause you know Mum and Dad are gonna be fussin' like hell 'til I go,'
Jerome mentally paused as they walked towards the pedestrian crossing on the main road, trying to gather the best way to defend himself when he told his brother, and best friend, that he was queer!
'Oh shit Todd, there's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna blurt it out and hope you don't hate me,' Jerome's voice cracked a little but Todd interrupted before he continued.
'Jez, this sounds kinda heavy, you sure you don't wanna wait 'til we get home?'
'Todd, I'm gay.' Jerome stated and then stopped walking.
Todd didn't. He turned his head to look at Jerome, a puzzled expression on his features, as he went to say something he stumbled and then fell forward. The colour faded from Todd's face, his mouth gaping as a scream from his very soul erupted, only to be silenced as the truck slammed into him head first.
Jerome realised he was crying again. It happened the same way every night, straight after he woke startled, he was beginning to think it was just the dream that kept waking him, but he always felt unsettled somehow, like someone was there.
He got out of bed and opened the curtains; moonlight flooded the room. As he got back into bed he heard the same sound again, a sort of scraping, whispering sound. He sat up in bed, scanning the room with his eyes trying to make out shadows in the greyscales of moonlight. Then he looked at the window. His breath caught as he opened his mouth to scream.
Before he could engage his brain enough to regain control of his vocal cords, Todd placed a hand over his mouth and told him to be quiet. A number of things went through Jerome's mind; he didn't actually hear Todd, more like sensed his thought; he could see Todd as if he were still alive, there was no translucency to him, and if this was Todd's ghost then he should be sort of see through, shouldn't he? More than all that he could smell him, a clean masculine smell that Jerome had only noticed after Todd had died, because it hadn't been there anymore.
Jerome shook his head and said, 'Is that you?' immediately he felt stupid for asking.
In his head he 'heard' Todd's reply, 'Yes Jez, it's me, you must be calm, I'm here for you little Bro, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm here because you need me.'
'I'm so sorry Todd, I... I... I, oh if only I hadn't said anything, you'd still be hear and not d... d...' Jerome faltered still struggling with the finality of the word.
'It's ok, Jez, really it is... I died because it was my time, one day it'll be your time and then you'll see what I mean but for now you only need to know that it wasn't your fault, full stop. But there's another reason I'm here, Jez.'
Jerome didn't reply, couldn't reply, here in his room was his brother's ghost. His brother who'd been dead for 6 months now; who'd died because Jerome had told him he was gay. Somehow Jerome knew he was about to receive his punishment.
'Jez you told me you were gay, but that wasn't all you wanted to say was it? I need for you to tell me everything that was on your mind that day Jez, and I mean everything!'
'But I... I... Todd no I can't. I love you Todd, you're my brother and best friend. Because of me and what I said you died, I can't tell you more... in... in... in case...' Jerome started to sob silently again, unable to continue.
'Jez, I know already, I know everything about you now, I watch you every night to be close to my little Bro', but I have only tonight to prove this to you. I can't explain how it works, I'm not that sure myself, but I do know that if you don't voice your feelings for me now, tonight... then we'll both regret it, please Jez, just say what I know to be true.' Todd's thoughts were in Jerome's mind, pleading.
Jerome looked at his brother; drank in the beauty of his features, as their eyes met whispered, 'I loved you Todd, but not just as my brother, I loved you for being who you were. I loved your looks and your body, the way your muscles moved and strained when we played and worked out together. I loved your mind for its sharpness and wit, your compassion for others. I loved your sense of humour and I loved the way you smell,' Jerome was crying, tears streaming down his face, catching the moonlight, but he continued, 'I even loved you when we argued, but now and for the rest of my life I have to live with the guilt of knowing I killed you, you my brother the man of my dreams. And if you really do know everything then you'll know that I hate myself, evenmore for dreaming every night about wanting to have sex with you, I killed you and all I can think about is that I'll never have sex with you! As if you'd have even wanted to.' By now Jerome was beside himself and starting to sob, muttering incoherently to himself, no longer looking at Todd.
'Jez, Jez look at me,' Todd was saying
'Look at me Jez, it worked little Bro', it worked.'
Jerome looked up realising that he'd heard the soft, deep tones of his brother's voice. Aloud, not just sensing them in his head. 'But how, what...' Jerome started, before he felt Todd lay a quietening finger against his lips.
'Sshhh, Jez. You, my little Bro', are not the only gay man in the world, I am, or at least I was, too, and I am again tonight. For you, Jez, tonight I am hear for you. You see my favourite wank fantasy was always about having sex with you Jez. I have always loved you and tonight I'm gonna show you how much, so no more talking just relax and enjoy what we've both always wanted.'
Todd removed his shirt and jeans, his boxers already tented by his straining erection, and stood before his younger brother. Then he pulled back the sheet covering his brother's naked form and sighed, 'Oh how I've longed for this.'
Jerome lay back as he felt his brother's hands caress his stomach and chest, lingering on his erect nipples. Tweaking them just hard enough to make him wince, then moving down again, to his throbbing dick. Teasing him, brushing it lightly with his hand before moving on to his full hairy nuts, already tight with excitement. Then Jerome felt the warmth of his brother's breath on his cock - a fleeting thought about being in Heaven is, given the circumstances, pushed away - just moments later all 6' of throbbing 18 year old boy cock is swallowed to the base. Jerome basks in the pleasure. He could feel Todd bobbing up and down, his tongue sweeping around his helmet. He tries to signal that he's getting close, his orgasm boiling deep in his nuts, but Todd is relentless. Just as he feels Todd gently squeeze his nuts and deep throat his cock once again he knows it's too late. In a heart stopping-ly violent orgasm Jerome releases his first guilt-free seed since 'the accident' into the waiting mouth of the one man that he thought he'd never be with. Jerome sent wave after wave of his cum pumping into his brother's mouth; he could see by the moonlight the look of complete satisfaction on Todd's face. As his dick started to soften he felt Todd climb up him until his face was right over his. Jerome wrapped his arms around his brother's hot body and they kissed passionately for the first time, Jerome able to taste a mixture of his own cum and Todd's saliva.
After just a few minutes Jerome turns to his brother and says, 'I love you so much I want to die, then I could go with you.'
Todd stroked his younger brothers already hard-again dick and said gently, 'Don't say that Jez, it's not right, we have been granted tonight and tonight only, let's just enjoy ourselves for now.'
'Todd, will you make love to me?' Jerome asked his brother nervously.
'If you're sure that's what you want, it will hurt a little to start with, but I promise it'll be worth it after a while,'
Jerome replied by kissing his brother and then asking what he should do.
'Well how about we start of slowly, after all we have all night. You kneel over me and suck my dick for a while and I'll just play with your bum, that ok little Bro?' Todd asked
Jerome moved so quick it was almost instantaneous. Todd's cock was big, well big compared to Jerome's at any rate and Jerome had wanted to suck on it since the first time he'd heard of a 'blow-job'. He opened his mouth wide and tried to take in all seven-and-a-half inches but gagged straight away.
'Jez go easy little Bro' take your time, just take it in a little bit at a time and please, mind your teeth!' Todd said encouragingly.
Jerome was starting to get used to it after a few minutes and was now sucking like a pro', playing with his brother s big nuts at the same time as taking about half the length of Todd's cock. Todd had been stroking Jerome's back and his cute, hairless, little bum for the last few minutes and had even started to run his fingers along his bum crack, but Jerome wasn't prepared for the next feeling.
'Ugghh, oh yeah, aahhh, mmm, that feels so good,' said Jerome as he felt Todd start to lick his arsehole. Todd was rimming him! Slowly at first but with more and more intensity until it could only be described as a good tongue fucking. The more Jerome felt of his brothers tongue going into his hole the deeper he was taking Todd's cock into his mouth - soon he was taking all bar the last inch.
'Ok Jez baby, I think you're ready to take your big brother now.'
Jerome moved off Todd, unsure of whether he was disappointed at the loss of the cock he was sucking or looking forward to being fucked. He was about to lose his cherry and to the one person he'd dreamed of it happening with. 'Where do you want me Todd?' he said wiggling his cute butt at his big brother.
'You little tease, Jez, I might just pounce on you and fuck the brains outta ya right now!' Todd's voice gave away his playful nature as well as the state of his arousal. His cock was pulsing in front of him and Jerome couldn't resist one last slurp.
'Oh yeah, you really are good little Bro', real good... mmm, but now I want you to put a pillow on the bed and lay down on your back, so the pillow lifts your bum for me, that ok?' Todd said quietly.
Jerome did as he was asked, he was only slightly nervous, he knew the love he felt for Todd was reciprocated equally. Jerome wanted to be fucked by his big brother tonight, fucked good and hard, and if that meant a little pain then so be it.
'Now when I start to go in you, you must try to push out - like you're gonna shit, ok?' Todd instructed, concern evident in his voice.
Jerome nodded, his head full of so many mixed emotions he didn't think speech was possible even if he'd wanted to talk. Jerome felt Todd's hairy thighs against the backs of his legs. Todd's hands holding Jerome's legs buy the ankles high and wide above him. He could feel his big brother's cock head sliding around in the spit and lube in his crack, just a light, gentle pressure on his ring. Then came the pain; excruciating, burning hell-fire pain as Todd's cock-head pushed into territory never breached that way before. Then it was gone as Jerome felt his brother's cock slide out of his hole. Todd's hand found Jerome's limp cock and started to play with it, making it rapidly return to a full hard-on, wanking the full 6 inch length, first slowly then faster, then slow again.
Jerome felt Todd slide his hard-as-steel cock into him, slowly sinking in until he felt his brother's body reach his bum and legs. Jerome smiled, even in the passion of the moment he knew this was what he'd wanted, needed all along was the feeling of his big brother's cock fucking in and out of him. The pain of a few minutes ago now a fading memory, replaced by a deep love and a rising animal passion, their lovemaking would be slow and romantic but also fast and violent as they both sensed each other deeply, physically and mentally.
Jerome wrapped his legs around his brother's back, just low enough to be able to feel the top of his muscular arse tense and relax with each deep and powerful thrust. Their mouths met, lips joining in passion whilst tongues fought a battle to prove the love felt for each other. Their bodies shining in the moonlight, sweat pouring from each. Jerome feels every nerve in his body warn of the impending orgasm, his eyes wide open as he watches, Todd, his big brother, also reaching the point of no return. They embraced again tightly, holding on to each other, breathing hard through their noses, not wanting to stop the kiss. Jerome felt Todd's cock plunge in one last time, all the way to the base and then he felt it swell inside him as wave after wave of his brother's cum gushed into his bowels, spraying his insides in the warmth of love and passion. This was the trigger for Jerome, his cum arcing out of his cock and spraying the two lovers' stomachs.
Spent, Jerome and Todd look lovingly into each others eyes both realising that the joy and love they have found will never again be, for this was for one night only, they kiss again, a long slow passionate kiss, before Todd pulls away and says, 'Jez, my little Bro', we don't have long left together, maybe as little as hour, will you do something for me now?'
'Anything, anything you want,' Jerome gasps, tears now welling up again.
'Make love to me, fuck me the way I've fucked you and know that you are also my first!' Todd pleads.
Jerome looks into his big brother's eyes and replies, 'Well if we only have an hour or so, we'd better make it a good one . And before our time finish let me drink every drop of your hot men juice.