Beyond the Closet Door

If you haven't been able to guess by the subject line, I am a gay man and this is my coming out blog.

I must! Do all that I can to insure that every possible opportunity exists for me to find a lover . . . a boyfriend . . . a future fiance . . . perhaps a husband?

I am gay.

I've always been gay.

Now I need to acknowledge this fact, and act accordingly.

All my life I've been alone. Never had a real girlfriend. Never had a real date. I've never woken up in a woman's arms. I've never made love with a woman. I've never been really attracted in a sexual way towards women.

On the other hand:

I have slept in a bed with a cousin and brother.

I slept naked with them.

During my teen-age years we shared several intimate experiences.

Sometimes we snuggled.

Sometimes we cuddled.

Sometimes we kissed.

Sometimes we rubbed our penis's together.

Sometimes we would 69.

Sometimes we necked.

We experienced everything except anal sex and I never got to suck them long enough to make them cum.

We would take showers together so we could kiss and hold each other tight. I would go to my knees and take his penis in my mouth. I would suck and suck until he got hard, then he would force me to stop before I could make him cum.

Sometimes my cousin would take me in his mouth as I sucked him in bed. We would get at opposite ends of the bed and we were about the same height so it was easy to gobble each other.

Only I gobbled.

My cousin just let me lie in his mouth.

Sometimes we would go out into the woods so we could roll around and rub our organs together.

Many times we would experiment late at night.

We shared a bunk bed. Usually we slept at opposite ends. At some point during the night, his foot would snake up my thigh and he would slide his toes up under my underwear. I would do the same to him.

'Come up here,' I would say.

Shawn would move up to my end of the bed and I would lie on my back and spread my thighs.

He would lower himself down on me and we would kiss as we did some heavy petting.

'Why do you always wear panties?' he asked me one time.

I told him I liked the way the panties felt and I wanted to be his girl.

I think he was turned off by that, I don't know.

Eventually I would take off his underwear and I would take off my panties.

We would rub ourselves together and sometimes we did it just right and the feel of our cocks rubbing against one another was so wonderful I would moan out with pleasure.

I got crazy in bed with my cousin. I squeezed him with all the strength in my arms and legs.

I repeatedly asked him to enter me but he wouldn't.

Finally it all stopped when I said I wanted to be his girlfriend.

He said he wasn't gay, just experimenting.

From that time on I've had to fantasize about how it might be.

I had a few chances to be with a man but I let my pride and shame keep me from being the girlfriend in a same sex, man to man relationship.

I lived in Dallas for a while. I lived by myself and there was a neighbor guy who had the hots for me.

Oh how I wish I had just let him know I wanted him too.

I hid the truth though.

I met a brother of a close friend in 1990. He called me 'Blondie' and I acted like I took offense. Really though, I wanted to find some way to be alone with him.

A few years later he called and said he was coming out with his brother to see me.

I lived in the country with an Aunt and Uncle.

If he had come out, I know we would have become lovers.

I wanted him so bad that day that I took a long bath.

It was on this day that I experienced the pleasure of anal play.

I shoved a bar of soap up inside me to clean me out and I gasped with pleasure.

Oh my God it felt so good.

From that time on, I've looked and looked for something to simulate a penis. I've worn butt plugs. I've used those big sharpies when I didn't have a butt plug.

I love having something big and long inside me.

I can't wait for the real thing though.

I experienced something today though that I've never experienced before.

I found an enema syringe (I guess that's what you call it). I filled the bulb with water and squirted the whole thing inside me. It was wonderful. I can't wait to feel actual hot, sweet cum explode inside me like that.

I can't wait to actually use scented douches so my boyfriend will enjoy eating, tonguing and sucking my hole.

I can't wait to wear eatable panties for him.

I want to kiss with both of us holding Hershey's Kisses in our mouths. As we kiss the chocolate melts and we trade back and forth until our saliva and the chocolate is gone.

I can't wait to neck.

I can't wait to wear a dress or sexy women's wear and go out in public with him. I can't wait to hold hands in public. To kiss in public.

I can't wait to Nair my legs, chest, crotch, underarms and pubic and anal hair so I'll be silky smooth.

I can't wait to swell shut around him after hours of anal sex.

I can't wait to suck him raw. To drink his urine from time to time. I can't wait to roll with him in a sleeping bag, a sleeping bag for singles. I want to be wrapped tightly with him. I imagine us finding a secluded place at night where we can get into the sleeping bag and just roll over and over together.

I can't wait to make love with him in missionary style so we can kiss and I can cling to him while I roll and toss him as he plunges deep inside me. I can't wait to feel him on top of me.

So many things I want.

I want to cook for him, clean for him, keep house for him, be his girlfriend in every way. I want to find a man who believes in getting married. A man who wouldn't mind making me his bride.

I'm looking for real love.

I can't stand it any longer.

I'm not out to friends and family and I'm using a false name but I do want to come out some day.

I want to have a boyfriend first though.

So I am making a pledge. I have set a goal.

I will! Have! A! Boyfriend! By April 2, 2007.

I will.

I want to find a man who'll buy me things from www.electriqueboutique.com

When I find that man, he'll have found the true love of his life.

I won't have a sex change but I will consider taking feminine hormones so my voice will be higher, my skin smoother and my desires even more effeminate.

So, now you know what I want...let me tell you how I got to this point.

As I sit here writing this journal, I can't help but think about the first time I realized I was different.

I recognized this difference at the age of seven. Something happened then that made me feel whole. Something that still makes me feel whole.

I feel whole right now because I'm wearing women's clothing.

I am wearing a thong and it's pulled tightly up inside my butt so it will hold the butt plug firmly in place. Over that I am wearing a pair of satin crotchless panties. Covering that is a pair of nylon panty-hose. I slipped a pair of ruffle panties over the hose. I put another pair of hose on over that. I put on a pair of lace and nylon panties. Another pair of hose and then some tight elastic girly shorts. They're pink.

I have a black mini-dress and a body stocking too. I wish I had more though. I want tights. I want a night gown, some more dresses. I want to wear slips, a full body stocking with sleeves. I want to wear sexy tight panties, so tight that they squeeze me. I want to get the panties in petite sizes. I want to wear tight hose. I want to wear skirts, bikini bathing suits, heels, wigs sometimes (although I'd rather let my beautiful blonde hair grow long). I want to wear baby dolls' teddies, tight fitting see through things and all kinds of women's clothes.

I want to ware perfume. I want to put lipstick on for my boyfriend before we kiss. I want to douche. I want to be a girl in every way except that my anus will always be my vagina.

While I won't enter him much, I would like to 69. I do like being sucked. I do like rubbing my cock with another. I am a man, I'm not trying to avoid this truth.

I don't wear women's wear to appear as a girl; I wear women's wear to appear as a man who loves being girly.

I felt girly for the first time at the age of seven. I've wanted a boyfriend since that time.

Leslie Renee

40 years old

Gemini

5 feet, two inches tall

130 pounds

Blonde hair

Blue eyes

Petite

In good physical shape

HIV negative

STD free

Virgin

Hobbies: reading, writing, computing, internet, wearing women's clothes, finding a boyfriend, listening to music, playing the drums, bible study, Christianity, research, week-end get aways, breakfast in bed, romance, flowers, candy, long baths, long walks, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, snuggling, movies, dancing, walking and sometimes jogging, swimming, camping out, theater/arts, shopping, cleaning, cooking. I like the sound of rain while in bed. I like masturbation. I like giving head. I love anal sex. My favorite books are Shogun, Taiko, gay fiction and nonfiction. Favorite movies are Forest Gump, Steel Magnolias, Broke Back Mountain, Six Weeks, To Kill a Mockingbird, Titanic. I love Star Wars and Star Trek. Data was my favorite.

My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper. I like steak, chicken, Mexican food, Cajun food, fried chicken, chocolate fudge, Mississippi Mud Cake and Rocky Road Ice-cream.

I'm real and I'm looking for a real man who'll be my boyfriend and who'll let me be his girlfriend.

For starters anyway.

My ultimate goal is to change my last name to his.

My ultimate goal is to come out to my friends and family and then leave with my boyfriend and start out new.

I don't mean he has to leave his location but I do want to leave mine.

So, if you're reluctant to date a man because you don't know if he will want to move, fret no longer; I'll move gladly when I find my knight in shining armor.

I'd love to be a 'kept lover.'

I'd even like to be a truck driver's lover. I'd be willing to date people who travel. I can work anywhere I have computer access so we can spend time together as he travels.

My greatest wish and desire is to find a very rich gay man who is a masculine top into girly bottoms; effeminates.

I'd love to find someone who could and would spoil me.

I'd drop my current life in a second to become that man's girl.

Are you out there?

Discovering Selective Impotence

12:03:27 AM

Well before I tell you the story of my struggles with sexuality, I want to make an interesting observation.

It isn't one that just occurred to me but it is one that keeps reoccurring.

There have been two opportunities in my life when I could have had sex with a woman. Both times I was impotent. The first occasion happened when Sam, my best friend and I got drunk together and she got horny and we kissed a little. She got naked and we rolled around in her bed. She wanted me to enter her but I did not respond. My penis remained soft and small.

The next time came when a girl named Tabitha spent the night with me. We kissed a lot and she got naked. I ate her out good and hated every minute of it. I didn't like the taste or the feel. I was impotent that night too.

But When I experimented with my cousin and brother, I grew hard right away. I loved kissing. I loved taking them in my mouth and bobbing my head up and down. I loved running my tongue around the tip and the crevasse between the head and the shaft. I loved caressing one side of their penis with my upper lip as I caressed the other side with my lower lip. I loved sucking on their lips. I loved it when they put their tongues in my mouth. I loved it when we were in bed and I was wearing panties. I loved having them on top of me. I loved showering together when we could moan a little and make passionate sounds as we breathed hard and kissed fiercely.

My anus tightens at the thought of having a man inside me.

I've never gotten this aroused from thoughts of a woman.

Every time I think of being with a woman, I end up feeling disappointed. When I think of being with a man, I am aroused and I feel hopeful.

So I know with out a doubt that I'm gay.

I'm not transgender but I am effeminate. I don't think I'm a girl but I know I want to be the girl in a same sex relationship.

I don't have a gender crisis problem. I know I'm a guy. I know I was not meant to be a girl. But, I was! Meant to be a gay man's girlfriend. A homosexual man's fiancé, the bride of a sincere, soft-hearted, romantic, well-hung, intimate, sexy, masculine top.

One who kisses well and likes to kiss. One who will bathe with me. One who will sit on a closed toilet lid, let me straddle him, face to face so that I can lower myself down on his hard, long cock. I imagine us kissing deeply as I slid up and down his shaft, my anus lubricated with stimulating jell. The kind that enhances sensation.

I want to learn the anal practices so I can suck him with my anal muscles. So I can draw water up inside me as I bathe. I want to learn to tighten myself around him until he is unable to move. I want to swell shut around him.

I want to let my hair grow long. I want to get a body stocking that will hold the both of us inside.

I want to spend days just wrapped around him.

I want to b able to scream out loud as we make love. I want to be with a man and to be with him in every way without shame, without disgust, without fear of persecution, without fear of failing. Without fear of getting a disease. Without fear that it is just a one night stand.

I want to be certain that the man I'm with for the first time will be the only man I'll ever be with. I'll gladly give my all to the man who can give me all I desire.

I write this diary for that man.

My love if you are reading this, then obviously you've made me happy. You've made my dreams come true.

And now I'll make you happy for the rest of our lives.

You'll be proud to introduce me as your girlfriend. And I'll be proud to be your girl.

I'll talk baby talk, I'll snuggle close to you in public, we'll hold hands, we'll kiss. We'll embrace, we'll say 'I love you,' We'll go into lingerie stores together. We'll go into a dressing room together as you dress me in girly things. You'll buy me all kinds of clothes. Skirts, panties (nylon, satin, lace, all kinds), dresses (mini dresses, see through, evening dresses, party dresses, skimpy dresses, little girl dresses), tight hose, night gowns, perfume, makeup, douche, Nair, lipstick, necklaces, tights, baby dolls, teddies, body stockings, hose, bikini bathing suits, thongs, eatable panties, heels, jump suits, bedroom toys, bubble baths, leg wax, body oils, lotions, and harnesses that will allow us to enter each other at the same time. We would use two dongs to have anal sex at the same time.

I want to make love in stacks of pillows. You lower me into a bird's nest of soft pillows so that my anus is high up and you can enter me as you lie on top of me, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, waist to waist, tummy to tummy. Legs around you, locked at the calves with binders.

We are glued together with body glue from torso to tummy. My thighs are glued to your hips and lower back. We wear some kind of fitting that keeps our mouths together.

Man I wish you were here now.

Well, since you're not I guess I better stop fantasizing and tell you the story of my 'coming to terms.'

Little Girl Panties

I was about seven years old when I found a pair of little girl panties lying in the hallway of our house.

I'm not sure how I knew they were panties but I did. I immediately became curious.

I wondered how they would feel. The fabric felt different than underwear, somehow prettier the feel of the fabric made me feel something different? Hopeful? Happy? Strange?

Yes. I did feel these things and I didn't know why.

I put the panties in my pocket and later I went into the bathroom and changed my underwear for the panties. I put my underwear in the hamper and I wore those panties for a long time. I loved the way they squeezed my hips, waist and crotch. I liked running my fingers over the fabric. I liked the way they fit on me. They were very tight but then that's why I wear three pairs of hose and several pairs of panties. I want tight fitting femwear and I don't have any so I make due with what I have.

I want my legs to be wrapped tightly in hose or tights. I want to feel the panties hug my body. I want to feel the thong strap inside me. I want to feel the butt plug pressing deep inside me. I want to feel it as I sit in this chair.

I want to feel the girly feeling I get when I wear girly clothes. I want to wear my little dress and the body stocking.

I want to have the opportunity to actually go out in public, dressed in women's wear, (skimpy dress, sexy hose, sexy panties, pretty necklace, lipstick, makeup, shaved body hair and either my own long hair or a wig. I want to be wearing chocolate panties so he can eat them off of me at the end of the day. I want to be dressed as a girl but I also want people to know I'm a man. I want to walk with him, hand in hand, arms around each other, my head on his shoulder, my lipstick on his mouth and smeared on mine. A hitch in my walk from the soreness of last night's love making and the pressure of the lubricating butt plug inside me. The one he will use to lubricate me tonight before he suck the butt plug out of me and fill me with his eleven inches.

But, I digress.

For months I washed out the little girl panties so I could wear them again and again.

It was about this time that I met a kid named John McKnight. I know now that I loved John. I fantasized that we were one body. We were clad in the same pair of jeans, the same shirt. The same underwear. I would be wrapped around him as we shared the same suit of clothes.

I dreamed of sleeping with him but there was no romance, just the closeness.

John and I played a lot together and sometimes we would run together, holding hands.

In the fifth grade I held hands with another kid. Oh how I've missed him over the years. I think that I really began to feel homosexual attraction in the fifth grade.

Kyle Linder was the kid that Mr. Burns, our homeroom teacher, assigned to help me out.

You see I am blind. I have been blind all of my life. For the first four years of my schooling, I went to a day school for the blind.

In 1977 we moved from that area and I began attending public school.

Kyle was selected to show me around and acquaint me with everyone.

We became closer and closer every day. We would walk to the lunch room holding hands. We didn't just hold hands like the old style, our fingers were intertwined together. We held hands like a girl and boy. Sometimes we would squeeze each other's hand. Sometimes he would move his hand and run it from my knee up my thigh. He would do this when we went to the auditorium to watch a movie. I would put my hand on the inside of his thigh too.

After several months we found a secret place behind the school building. It was protected from view by shrubbery.

We would pretend to wrestle under the protection but within a few seconds, he was on top of me, my legs were around him and we were grinding our hips together.

I think we would have become lovers if he had not moved away in the sixth grade.

I remember I was very sad.

Around this time, I learned that I'm not as sexually attracted to women as I am men.

One night my sister came to me and invited me to sleep with her. She took my hand and rubbed it against her panties.

I wasn't interested. I was not aroused. But the following weekend, my cousin and I kissed and rolled together and showered and we rubbed cocks. We French kissed for the first time. We snuck off all day and spent time kissing, rubbing, doing a little oral sex (again, I would suck him with hunger but he would just put the tip of me in his mouth. I would try to thrust myself down his throat but he wouldn't let me.

So, we kissed a whole lot.

We also did a lot of heavy petting. Many times we would come close to orgasm but he would always stop.

I fantasized about some of the boys in school.

We were studying CPR in PE class. The other boys were playing basketball after we studied health topics for a while. I would lie on the bleachers listening to them play doge ball or war ball. I dreamed that one of the kids would come up to me, lower his mouth to mine and we would pretend to practice CPR but would instead be kissing.

There was some discussion of me going to Austin to the Texas School for the Blind. I would have gone during my eighth grade year. I looked forward to it.

I just knew I'd find a boyfriend there. Maybe my room mate would be gay? We were teenagers too so we weren't so afraid to experiment or to take a chance.

I didn't go though but I did continue to experience intimacy with Shawn.

I also began to raid my sister's panty drawer. I would prowl through the drawer until I found a sexy feeling pair. I'd wear them and wash them over and over until they began to fall apart.

I also discovered maxi-pads. I would tape one end of the pad to my balls and run the pad up through my legs, up into the crack of my ass. I would make sure the pad was securely attached to me. I loved this feeling. I don't know why.

One night my brother and I were rubbing cocks and I started moaning so loud that my parents almost caught us.

That was the end for me and my brother.

Shawn and I shared a couple more experiences but that ended as I indicated before.

I tried heterosexual relationships for the next several years but failed at all of them.

I would always find myself fantasizing about being with a man.

In 1987 a friend told me that Stuart had a crush on me. I blew it off and have wished every day since that I had not.

I was living alone. I wanted to be with a man. I lived in the gay part of Dallas. A rich man was interested in me. I wanted to be his girl but I was scared. How easily I could have left my friends, parents and family to be with him. But I didn't. When I finally decided to tell him how I felt, it was too late.

The greatest opportunity I ever had might have been the greatest love ever known.

Stuart told my friend that he would do whatever. He would kiss, he would suck my dick, he would fuck me, he would cuddle with me he would do anything.

I wish I had told my friend 'go tell him his girlfriend is waiting for him.'

My Uncle had moved out the day that I learned of Stuart's interest. My Uncle was straight and I vowed that once he left, I'd have a boyfriend.

I think that Stuart and I would have gotten together if I would have had any kind of experience. I'd never even kissed at that time. Well, except with my cousin but it was never the way I wanted. I want deep kisses, long kisses, kisses filled with saliva, with mouths corkscrewing, with suction, with moans, kisses that involve sucking lips, caressing lips with lips. Kisses that involve Hershey's Kisses. Kisses that last for hours. Kisses that leave us with swollen lips, bruised lips, dry mouths and a hunger to move on to foreplay.

Kisses that lead to necking and huge bruises on necks.

Kisses that grow intense as he begins to orgasm inside me and as I begin to have the ultimate anal orgasm. We mold our mouths together so that the screams won't be too loud.

I'm a good kisser now but at the time I knew Stuart, I wasn't and I didn't want to fail.

Stuart invited me to share his water bed but I didn't hear his message right and missed that opportunity.

He took me to work a few times.

A thousand times I've wondered what would have happened if I had snuggled over against him as he drove me to work. What if I had leaned over towards him before getting out of the car to go to work? What if I had leaned over, said bye in a sweet feminine voice, and turned my mouth up to indicate that I wanted a kiss.

What if I had walked over and snuggled up against him on one of those nights he sat on my couch and we talked. I always sat on my bed and he sat on the couch.

What if I had walked out to talk to him the night my parents came down?

Stuart was mad at me about something. At the time I didn't know what but he was mad because he thought I was sleeping with another guy. There was a friend who needed a place to stay one night and I let him stay. He ended up coming back and robbing me. It took me a while to figure out why Stuart was glad about me getting robbed but finally I realized he was jealous and he thought I was gay and didn't have any interest in him.

So, what if I had walked out to talk to him that night he knocked on my door.

My parents were there so I walked out to talk to him.

The entire history of my life could have been changed if I had acted different.

What if?' let's examine that from the 'fantasy story' viewpoint.

Here's how things could have happened.

Sweet on Stuart

'Do you want to go to Ihop and eat?' my mother asked.

'Sure,' I said.

Just then there was a loud knock at the door.

'Who could that be?' my parents asked.

'I don't know,' I said, walking to the door and opening it.

'Oh hi,' Stuart said, 'are you Leslie's parents?'

'Yeah, they're my parents,' I said 'come in and meet them.'

Stuart came in and there were the usual introductions.

'Well we were about to go eat,' I said, 'sorry but I'm going to have to go.'

'Okay,' Stuart said 'will you be back tomorrow?'

'Not until Sunday,' I said as I walked to open the door. I walked outside and Stuart followed me. I shut the door behind us.

'Stuart,' I said, 'There's something I need to say.'

'Yeah, whatever!!'

'Stuart, I know why you're acting this way. Do you think I slept with that guy who spent the night here last night?'

'Well, didn't you?'

'Stuart,' I said 'can we walk down a ways from my apartment?'

We walked about teen feet and when we stopped, I moved over to Stuart, pressed myself against his side and slowly snaked my left arm around him.

'Stuart I've never been with any man. I want to be with a man but you're the only man I want to be with.' 'I've been uncertain of my feelings since Billy told me you are attracted to me. From the very first day I've wanted to say or do something to give you a sign of interest but I've been scared. Stuart, I know! I'm gay. I dream of having a boyfriend. I want someone like you in my life. I want to be with you but I don't want it to be a one night stand. I want you to be my boyfriend. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to have the kind of relationship with you that might turn into marriage.'

'I really want to just move in with you, quit my job and be your girlfriend, then your fiancé, then your bride.' Stuart turned to me and took me softly and slowly into his arms. Our mouths met and we kissed gently. 'Can we hold off until Sunday afternoon?' I ask in a soft feminine voice as I kiss him lightly. 'Yes baby, we can,' he says as he moves his mouth so that we could kiss fully. We kissed for a solid minute or two. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth. He sucked mine. We kissed with little nips, we corkscrewed our mouths, we briefly slipped our tongues inside. Then we broke and stepped apart.

'If you buy me some girly things and put them in my mailbox I'll wear them Sunday evening. I'll get ready before you come over.'

'What if I just leave some stuff under your mattress?'

'Great idea,' I say as I fish out my key.

'Make a copy of this and drop it in the mail box. You can have the other one. When I get back Sunday I will see what you've sent and I'll wear whatever you bring. I want some panties though, douche, a dress, night gown, something sexy. If you want to take me to meet your parents Sunday evening then I'd like to dress as your girl.'

'Can I introduce you to my parents as my baby?'

'Baby,' I said turning my mouth up for a last kiss, 'You can tell them we're engaged if you want. I plan to move in with you, quit my job, write my family a letter and then spend the rest of my life involved in your world. I'm tired of pretending to be straight. I want to be gay and I want to live where we can kiss in public, hold hands, slow dance together. I want to live where I can wear girly things for you. I want to live where we can go to stores and buy lingerie, sex toys and other stuff. I want to live where I can be your bride. Where I can cook. Clean, and be as feminine as I want to be.'

'I want to escape from my old life and leave it behind.'

'When I fall asleep in your arms Monday morning, exhausted, sore, happy, completed, I don't intend to ever sleep without you for another night.'

'Good,' he said 'then as of Sunday night, you live with me.'

I walked back into the apartment.

My parents suspected something but couldn't put their finger on it.

Well, they will understand after Sunday.

I spent Friday night, Saturday and the first part of Sunday with my parents.

When they left I hurried to the mattress and pulled out the package.

I had a cherry scented douche, a thong, eatable panties, lace and satin panties, a dress, panty-hose, platform shoes, perfume, lipstick, a slip, several panties of nylon and lace, a body stocking, a necklace, a sexy skirt, a mini-dress, a baby doll, a teddy, a double-dong penis, lotion, Hershey's kisses, and a bottle of Nair.

I spent the next hour in the bathtub, removing every speck of body and pubic hair.

I douched with the cherry scent. I put on the eatable panties. I put on the thong and a pair of the tight little girl panties. I put on the slip. The hose, then the pink dress. I put the necklace around my neck, sprayed perfume, put lipstick on my lips and just as I finished, there was a nock at the door.

'Stuart,' I said.

As soon as I opened the door, he was inside. He wrapped me tightly in his arms and we began to kiss openly, hungrily, greedily, wetly. His tongue slipped down the back of my throat and gagged me. We pressed our crotches together and I felt him growing hard inside his pants. He reached his hand down between my legs and up under my dress. He caressed me through the slip and panties and I grew hard very quickly. He picked me up in his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me like that to his house. We kissed without stopping.

He carried me through his front door, through the living room, into his bedroom and laid me in a stack of pillows on a large King size water bed. I spread my thighs, tilted my hips and invited him to lower himself on top of me. We lay like that for hours, our mouths as one. We kissed for a while, we necked for a while, we ground our hips together. Then he began to move his mouth down my neck as his fingers worked to untie the dress front. His mouth traced my throat, down my chest. He sucked each nipple, using his tongue to trace around it in circles. He moved down my tummy, tongued my belly button. He slowly inched towards my rock hard cock. I jerked the rest of the clothing down over my thighs and legs as his hot mouth engulfed my length. 'Wait baby,' I moaned. 'Let me undress you and let's do this together.' And so I undressed him. When we were both naked, I knelt with my knees on either side of him as he lay on his back, I lowered my mouth and took his length into my thirsty, hungry sucking machine. I pulled his hips against my mouth and rolled onto my back. As I did he buried his mouth in my crotch and we started a wonderful 69. We brought each other to near climax many many times but we stopped just before cumming. Finally though we both went all the way and we choked on each other's cum. After we came, we lay together, out mouths filled with cock and we let each other grow soft.

'Now let me eat that pussy,' he said.

Keeping my mouth on his cock, I pulled my cock out of his mouth, lifted myself and squatted over him. I lowered my anus to his mouth. I used my fingers to part my cheeks. His hungry mouth found the melted chocolate panties and he tongue and slurped and sucked me for a long time. I moved my hips in a circular motion as he ate me. I started bobbing up and down his shaft as he tongued me. Eventually he grew hard again and I turned my body and moved my mouth from his cock, up his tummy, up his chest, up his neck until my mouth was one with his. I rolled onto my back, coming to rest on a stack of four pillows.

I raised my legs high and he slowly . . . slowly began to enter me.

He was eleven inches long and very big. It took him about three minutes to fill me with his length. And then we fucked and fucked and fucked. He stayed inside me for over ten hours. He emptied himself inside me over and over. Finally I got so dry that I swelled around him and he couldn't move until he grew soft. So we just lay together and kissed and necked. We used our fingers to caress each other. Backs, shoulders, buttocks, cheeks, faces. We softly touched each other as we rolled back and forth over that large bed.

When we were finished, the sheets were tangled and wet. We were exhausted and sore and I was one happy lil girl.

Tomorrow I would write the letter to my folks.

And the next day

Why, I'd be Mrs. Stuart Barzoom.

End of story

If only it would have happened that way.