Just a short part of chapter one and is written with two different forms of writing I really need to get responses on this one, which form should I use the first version or the second.

This is a fanfiction of shorts, of the 60s series Bewitched. It will not contain much erotic stuff, some but not much it is more focused on the relationship as a whole etc...



BEWTICHED (Gay Twist)Version 1 – Storytelling form.

Chapter 1 – I David taket his Witch... Troy

Once upon a time there was a special boy who happened to bump into a typical red blooded guy.

They bumped into each other again, and again. So they decided they better sit down and talk this over before they had an accident. They became good friends, and not long did it take for them to fall in love. Not hard to do when you have so man interest in common.

TV, well kissing in front of the TV.

Trains, watching trains.Well kissing as the trains passed by.

Going out, sitting in the park. Well kissing sitting in the park.

Even only after a month, the Red blooded guy thought the special boy to be his true match, so he did what most people do. He ask the boy to marry him. The boy thought it to be a bit sudden and hasty but he did say yes, they had a small wedding but a typical honeymoon. In a typical honeymoon suite.

Troy was siting by the mirror pointing his finger at a brush at the end of the other room, placed on a dresser.

Everything seemed typical and normal, except it so happens that this boy is a witch.

The brush started to levitate and came flying to Troy who took it in his hand and started to brush his long slightly wavy black hair. Done he sat still twirling his wedding ring with his right hands fingers, thinking.

Most people need love and romance, Troy was no exception. Just as he thought that all seemed perfect a gust of wind came through the window and a stroke of thunder was heard. There in the blink of an eye, a woman appeared.

Mother, What are you doing here Troy said.

What am I doing here, what are you doing here? She asked.

I'm married Troy replied.

I know, I cant seem to let you out of my sight for one moment. Now hold on to me and I will have us out of here in no time She responded.

No Troy said and his mother turned around, with a look of shock but also looking at him as if he were crazy. Troy rose form the chair in front of the mirror moving to take a seat at the edge of the bed. He told his mother this is were he wants to be. His mother lowered his head a bit telling him she knew that this must be a spell. These male witches are the worst. Now to the problem, how was she going to react when Troy let's his mother know his man is mortal. Better to yank it off like a bandied.

He is not a witch motherTroy said.

What She replied.

He is a mortal man Troy answered to his mothers gaze and short reply.

Oh well then that's easy I just turn him into a bullfrog She said smiling.

She went up to him and grabbed his arms, now the fight would start, they argued and non of them listened to one or the other. Troy tried telling his mom that he loved this man and that she should not do anything to harm him. Troy really did love his new husband and he was not going to let his mother do anything. True she wasn’t very fond of mortals but still David was a very good man an honest man, hard working, respectful and charming man. In the middle of them arguing David came closer to the room ready to be with his husband.

Troy stopped the dispute by saying, he's coming mother.

I will take care of that, don’t worry I'm not going to hurt him She replied moving her hand in a swift like motion.

In the separate livingroom of the suit David came closer to the bedroom door and in a instant he was standing in the lobby, dressed in a robe an underneath only his boxers. He looked around thinking he had gone crazy, Blinking thinking he was dreaming.

It must be the cocktail I had he said out loud to himself.

He started to move to the elevator pressing the button going back to his husband and his hotel room. At the same time Troy and his mother was talking, trying not to yell at each other.

I don't know were you get it, it must be from your fathers side She said and sat down.

What's so horrible with marrying a mortal Troy replied.

She just sighed back and heard David coming closer, this time waving her hand. In the hall was just as he was about to enter his suite, he in a blink ended up at the lobby once again. It looked as if he was about to have a stroke,or a fit of some sort. He clenched his fists took a deep breath and went to the elevator once more.

Well Troy what do you think he will do when he found out your a witch, you cant hold it hidden for long Troy's mother said.

I'm planing on telling him Troy responded.

Oh really, when? She asked with an amused look in her face.

Tonight, I don't think you should have secrets in a marriage Troy said.

His mother stood up and smiled her amused somewhat wicked smile and in a blink was gone. Troy sighed and in the same moment his stomach turned to knots, thinking about how to tell David his new man is a witch.


BEWTICHED (Gay Twist)Version 2 – Single form (diary form).

Chapter 1 – I David takethis Witch... Troy

pRoLoG/
Once upon a time there was a special boy who happened to bump into a typical red blooded guy.

They bumped into each other, then again, and again. So they decided they better sit down and talk this over before they had an accident. They became good friends, and not long did it take for them to fall in love. Not hard to do when you have so man interest in common.

TV, well just kissing infont of the TV.

Trains, watching trains. Well just kissing by passing trains.

Going out, sitting in the park. Well just kissing in the park.

Even only after a month, the Red blooded guy thought they special boy to be his true match, so he did what most people do. He ask the boy to marry him. They boy thought it to be a bit sudden and hasty but he did say yes, they had a small wedding but a typical honeymoon. In a typical honeymoon suite.

Everything seemed typical and normal, except it so happens that this boy is a witch.

….

I was sitting in a silkrobe and my boxers by the mirror, looking to see if I needed some touching up. Seeing my hair was a mess. Now where is that hair brush, I turned my head seeing at the end of the room on the dark brown dresser, the brush laid.

I pointed my finger making a sign for it to come.

The brush started to levitate and came flying to me and I took it in my hand and started to brush my long slightly wavy black hair. Once done he started thinking and wondered how all this is going to go. Well Most people need love and romance, I was no exception. Just as I thought that all seemed perfect as the window opened and a gust of wind and a stroke of thunder was heard. There in the blink of an eye, a woman appeared.

Mother, What are you doing here I asked.

What am I doing here, what are you doing here? She responded.

I'm married I replied.

I know, I cant seem to let you out of my sight for one moment She said.

She walked toward me and turned so her back was seen.

Now hold on to me and I will have us out of here in no time she said.

I said no and my mother turned around, with a look of shock but also looking at me as if I were crazy. I rose form the chair in front of the mirror moving to take a seat at the edge of the bed. I tried telling my mother I wanted to be here. She just never seemed to listen. My mother lowered her head a bit telling me that this must be a spell. These male witches are the worst. Now to the problem, how was she going to react when I let her know his man is mortal. Better to yank it off like a bandied.

He is not a witch mother I blurted out.

What She replied.

He is a mortal man I answered to my mothers gaze and short reply.

Oh well then that's easy Ijust turn him into a bullfrog She said smiling.

I told her to do no such thing and we got in our usual argument, we never seemed to listen to each other, I tried telling her I loved David. Yes I really loved myhusband true we had not known one and other for long but still I was quite sure about my feelings. My mother did not seem to understand that, she had never been much for mortals but if she just could hear me out so I could tell her David wasn’t like ordinary humans. David was a very good man an honest man, hard working, respectful and charming man. We kept arguing, but I stopped hearing my husband coming closer to the room.

Now Mother please can you go he is coming I said.

I will take care of that, don't worry I'm not going to hurt him She replied moving her hand ina swift like motion.

In the separate livingroom of the suit David came closer to the bedroom door and in an instant he was standing in the lobby, dressed in a robe an underneath only his boxers. He looked around thinking he had gone crazy, Blinking thinking he was dreaming.

It must be the cocktail I had he said out loud to himself.

He started to move to the elevator pressing the button going back to his husband and his hotel room. At the same time Mother and I were now talking, trying not to yell at each other.

I don't know were you get it, it must be from your fathers side She said and sat down.

What's so horrible with marrying a mortal I replied.

She just sighed back and heard David coming closer, this time waving her hand.

In the hall just as he was about to enter his suite, in a blink ended up at the lobby once again. It looked as if he was about to have a stroke, or a fit of some sort. He clenched his fists took a deep breath and went to the elevator once more.

Well Troy what do youthink he will do when he found out your a witch, you cant hold it hidden for long my mother said.

I'm planing on telling him I responded.

Oh really, when? She asked with an amused look in her face.

Tonight, I don't think you should have secrets in a marriage I said.

My mother stood up and smiled her amused somewhat wicked smile and in a blink was gone. I sighed and in the same moment my stomach turned to knots, how am I going to tell David that his new man is a witch.


Please comment or email,with this one I need help, which version and do you think its goodand I should keep writing? XOXO / Rainsky

 

Rainsky

[email protected]

Top


Rate Story Choose rating between 1 (worst) and 10 (best).

Bookmark and Share

blog comments powered by Disqus