The last light on the street corner went out without a flicker and silence cut threw the blue night . Zeak was shivering having been in the cold rain for the better half of the night, he hated it here he said to himself then kicked the curve of the sidewalk. Regretting he had kicked the curve in the first place cussing at nothing but the air in front of him. Looking around and only seeing streets upon streets, he had walked absent minded out of the front door of his house hours before,you would think he would have the sense to stay indoors he wasn't a kid anymore. He started to laugh as shivers ran up and down his spine and made his fingers more numb than they where before. Zeak started to walk to the only house on the end of the road, he cleared his head and finally reached the porch that was dark as its surroundings , he could hardly see the front door of the house. Turning around and looking out again the streets were still engulfed in the coat of the night. Facing the front door again inhaling than ringing the door bell, he knew he had to walk back in the pouring rain he thought to himself than frowned a bit as his body slowly begin to shiver once more the cold wind reaching his very bones turning his back to the door. He squinted to get a better look at the streets signs. What he did not know is why he ended here of all places. A light flickered on I spun around right when the front door opened and there stood a guy a few inches taller than I remember. A look of confusion flickered across his face as if wondering why anyone would come to someones door at this hour and in this weather looking at me with disbelief' Can I help you?' he asked with a slow, ragged voice.Before I said anything he opened the door wider ' Honey who's there at the door' a womens voice ranged from the top of the stairs. Her chestnut brown hair came down in waves, it had grown out and it was wild with a hint character that showed in her oval olive like face . I relaxed as I met her eyes ' Alexander' she said as she walked up next to her son. She looked at him ' I left the cookies in the oven, be a dear take them out and set them on the table to cool' She said with a half smile that was warm to the touch if I dared to reach out and do so it was like that once upon a time when she was like another mother to me as of Alexander a brother . Alexander give me one last glance than at his mom disappeared into the dim lit hallway that led to the kitchen. ' Zeakelle' my eyes slowly met hers no longer on her son ' What are you doing here, by here I mean in London love' she said with a gentle smile.' Come in, come in' she pulled me in without another word I could smell the dust and decay as soon as I walked threw the threshold. She turned and walked down the hallway and I followed without saying a word. I peered threw the living room that also was connected to the hallway the furniture covered in sheets that seem yellow under the light. We stopped at the kitchen that was dim and Alexander was looking down at the steaming plate of cookies not looking up when we entered .'Alexander I think Zeakelle would love some cookies don't you think honey'she said putting a hand on his shoulder he flinched away than glared at me ' Am going to sleep' he said with the same voice that did not register with my memory. Minutes later I heard a slam of the door with a loud thud. I wanted to push pass the old women and hold Alexander the sudden urge came over me to do so shocked me . Something was wrong, very wrong Alexander's mother turned around and smiled not so warmly ' Come with me ' she walked pass me and I felt myself following once more back to the front door. ' You should come back tomorrow' opening the front door. I found myself outside once again the door shut and the smell of decay was cut at its seams I looked at the door than left. A week than two weeks passed and no one was home. One more week and school was going to start up again. It's been 3 years since I last saw Alexander. We went to school together when my father got transferred to England due to his job when my father died both me and my mom moved back to New York. My mom was in love with England, and she knew I had too without me having to tell her. Me and Alexander hung out a lot and did everything together I knew it was weird now, when I thought about it. To make it simple both Alexander and me where the best of friends like brothers if it made sense . Things had changed and Alexander was proof. Zeak walked the halls of his new school not trying to look for familiar faces or even Alexander .The one thing I had not expected when I came back was Alexander's coldness towards me, I closed the front door of my house I never stayed indoors what was the point my mother was never home when I was she was out taking pictures of London. Zeak's mother was a photographer and he loved her pictures along with his mother but at times she got lost in her fantasy word and forgot she had a son . He made it threw the first few weeks with no fault and no mother he might add. Zeak rung the door bell for what seemed like a hundredth time, he was back at Alexander's house he did not know why he came back over and over again but here was better than an empty apartment. No answer there must be a way in the house Zeak looked around stepping off the porch walking around the side of the house. ' What are you doing here' I let my eyes fall on his stopping short , his hazel eyes had gold flecks in them those very flecks I always wondered came from seemed a lighter, and softer gold. We stood the same height I took a good look at Alexander he had changed the last time I had seen him . He was built like a runner but I knew he only ran for the fun of it his chestnut brown hair fell over his eyes but did not manage to hide them completely I felt I could get lost in his eyes . I dropped my bag and took several steps before I held him breathing him in and feeling the warmth of his body. Suddenly I fell back my hand flying to my jaw Alexander was standing over me ready to hit me again. ' Leave before I really hurt you' I looked at him hearing his accent than but was too use to, to have noticed before . I lounged for him both of us falling back hitting the ground he landed another punch square in the face I rolled on top of him and punched him in the face than he pushed me off of him I spit out blood onto the dying grass. Anger boiling in my veins I didn't want this' I don't want this ' I yelled both of us a foot apart.'Stop this both of you, I thought I'd never see you two fight you to being the best of friends' Alexander mother stood several feet away ' You too come in, and clean one another this instant'. Both of us where in a small bathroom. I sat on the edge of the old, cracked, and rusting bath tub as Alexander took of his blood soaked shirt we where inches apart the bathroom no bigger than a coat closet. I felt a ping of guilt it was my fault I had been in the wrong guys don't randomly hug one another the way Zeak had with Alexander besides Alexander didn't seem like he wanted to do with Zeak . ' Alex...' sorry I should have never......... 'I trailed off losing my footing in my words I knew Alexander hated me he wouldn't even talk to me . I looked at the striped yellow pealing bathroom wall and than at the wooden floor that was also pealing. He looked at me than crouched down close to me face to face the distance made me uncomfortable enough to want to leave ' I shouldn't have hit you, but you did hug me ' He said somewhat awkwardly '..I wouldn't mind if I knew you ' He said with a tried voice I could read his facial expression from his voice alone. Than he turned to me ' It's the way' he laughed a little smiling as he . His mother than explained to me that Alexander had been in a car accident over a two years ago. Alexander had lost all of his memory and didn't remember anything he just took whatever he was told along with the fact that his name was Alexander and she was his mother. I sat in his dusty sheet covered room after school everyday after school it became routine as months passed. School ended and I made the same route to Alexander's house and when I rung the door Alexander opened it on the first ring. His face would be somewhat lifeless with a half smile I would follow him upstairs closing the door behind me. I closed his door and started to get undress as Alexander got out his canvas and paint brushes. Alexander has been painting me for a few days now I had rejected at first but I somehow ended up here everyday after school. I could feel the heat of his eyes on me I hated the feeling he gave me especially when my eyes met his I tried to count the flecks of gold and I would blush when they changed color when he painted me a gold that was unlike the sun and unlike the gold they were like before . 'Open your legs wider Zeak' he says with his familiar voice I lay on my back opening my legs ' Look at me ' he orders me I could feel my patience thinning as time passed I hated when he would paint me naked I would constantly fight him on it and than his eyes would make me melt and give in .Today I had enough if Alexander hated me he had a cruel way of showing it by heart ached as he would paint and never say my name not ever. We never talked not once after we were done painting he would sit and say nothing than I would leave. I layed up and started to get dress' Zeak lay down 'I ignored him than went for the door Alexander's arm held the door shut 'Whats wrong ' I looked away ' Nothing'I snapped. His touched my cheek and looked at me I could smell him he smelled of fresh paint, the rain and feel his warm breath brushing against my lips making me blush. ' Your beautiful when you blush'I was surprised than moved his hand. I couldn't help myself I was in love with Alexander and have been but I wasn't a fucking toy. I loved how his hand had felt against my skin I wanted to be touched . He didn't touch me again going back to sitting behind his canvas. I started to undress and layed back down my legs wide open I tried to keep my eyes on the ceiling . I felt tears run down my face I felt a hand brush the tear away than a wave of chestnut brown hair and hazel green eyes over me. I frowned confused than his soft lips met mines,I closed my eyes than put my hands on his chest pushing him off with little to no success. The kiss deepened and I found myself laying up and taking off his shirt we wear bear within seconds. His lips traveled down my neck to my hard nipples, I grabbed his hair as he continued to descended down my slim body. He reached my cock and tasted the head with his tongue tracing it with his tip than taking me whole. My whole body shivering as he swallowed me and sucked me slower than started to squeeze me with his lips and tongue . His strong hands grabbed my ass and he shoved me in him. My moans ripped threw my body and his as orgasm shook my body Alexander touch drove me insane his skin against my skin burned. I started to slowly make love to Alexander's face his tongue moist and soft moving my hips grinding his face. He took my balls in and started to massage them in his warm mouth I tugged at his hair as my body went wild. I could feel my hole throb as heat met it for the first time his cock head rubbed up and down my tight hole. He pulled my cock out of his mouth as he went down to my hole and started to taste me. Wait what was he doing I knew as soon as his tongue slithered inside me I couldn't catch my breathe as he explored me going deeper, and deeper. I was up to the point of ripping his hair out my legs as wide as their going to go one up against the wall. 'Alexander' I said over and over louder as he stuck a finger inside me. Than he went back up sucking my balls feeling the heat of his head inside opening my hole. Than going deeper pain ripped threw my body. As Alexander inches his way farther, I could feel the plump head of his cock pressing against my sweet spot, this feeling was new and unfamiliar but purely pleasurable. I couldn't help but indulge in Alexander . I could feel every detail of Alex, the length of his shaft to the thickness of his head as he rammed over and over again.

I sat up in the dark room and looked around alone I thought as I got dressed and left the room going down the stairs. The whole house was dark the only light came from the open front door . I reached the end of the stairs and grabbed the door knob and opened the door wider. 'What are you doing dear' said a voice I turned around to see Alexander's mother on the foot of the stairs looking the same way she had a couple months back . I let my eyes fall on the carpet floor that also was dirty just like the rest of the home I had enough of this place . I couldn't look into her eyes after what Alexander and I did I knew I couldn't come back it was a mistake everything coming back to London to begin with . I felt a lump in my throat and it became hard to swallow how could I even with my dry mouth. I wanted Alexander to remember me so much I gave in to it, I never thought about having sex with Alexander not ever but kissing him and having him hold him innocent thoughts of someone with a mere crush on his friend. He denied even to himself , even after this ,even after telling himself that he loved Alexander so much it hurt. It hurt that he acted so cruelly towards him and even when they were always together before all of this when Alexander told him that they would always be together always and look into his eyes whenever he said that. Zeak would believe every time he told him that pushing it aside that two people of the same gender could not be together. Zeak had know this feeling wasn't right and he wanted try to be normal like girls and than Alexander would turn around out of nowhere. Whenever they walked home together that year and speak those soft words to him those words that became sketched into his mind deeper and deeper into the point where every single word was part of Zeak's memory fresh still fresh even as he stands here now 'Mom' I looked up as Alexander came down the stairs and looked at his mom ' Honey, did you know that Zeakelle is here' she said with such a sweet voice it made my stomach churn and my teeth ache. 'Zeak...' he said slowly than looked at me with his now cold hazel eyes and I felt that my heart was being ripped out I was dreaming, Alexander looked at me as if we were meeting for the first time. My feet moved without me knowing, up the stairs one step away from Alexander and I punched him, so hard he fell down and passed out after looking at me. His mothers hysterical screams fading as I ran down the stairs and out of the house. Two months passed and Alexander's mom phoned my house the usual messages Alexander's out of the hospital now and he's made some improvement she decided he needed more medical attention he started to remember things from the car crash from more than two years ago . I didn't believe her or her son that acted if he suffered from memory lost when I knew damn well he could retain his memory just fine and lost only the memory previously from the crash. I had walked home from school and passed by a phone booth with a phone book on the top, I ripped the page where it listed my home phone number. I had no clue why I had I was sick and tried of her calling me telling me to see him. She can go to hell and Alexander he always was toying with me , my mom came back a day after the whole thing with Alexander. I skipped school and hadn't moved from the coffee table where I had sat the night before looking at nothing. The front door open the usual am home made the house not as quiet as it was before. She walked in and I looked at my mother she looked just like me, more of me like her. Her black hair came down in waves and her skin was a very light brown a mole on side of her eye and a little ways below she was beautiful . I was not like her in figure I wasn't as skinny, and I didn't have the same skin tone as her.

I had a sudden urge to tell her , tell her everything that I was gay, I thought it threw last night and like Alexander I wanted it to be a huge dream. I stood up if only she knew that she had a son that was hopelessly was in love with a guy. Alexander the one I failed to tell her about I told her welcome home and walked into my room shutting the door with a slam. One day I come from school and my mom was gone the same note be back in a few days. I look around at our small 2 bedroom apartment and decided I rather be anywhere else but here grabbing my jacket the phone rang . I let the answering machine pick up Alexander's mother's voiced filled the small kitchen ' Zeak it's Alexander's mother Alexanders been asking for you all week..

I didn't hear anymore , ripping out the cord in wall than going out the door. I found the hospital that Alexander was in easier than I had thought it would be. He was in room 208 the nurse said with a gentle but cold smile as I thanked her and walked down the hallway going up two floors the doors of the elevator opened to another hallway walking to the left of me as the nurse instructed and found the room jarred open. I walked in the only one in the room was Alexander laying on the bed his hair had been combed and looked odd seeing both of his eyes. When he turned and looked at me than smiled I wanted to hold him that warm feeling washed over him god I loved him it did not matter what happen not anymore . I would always, always love him, I sat next to him and met his eyes as his followed my every move. 'Hey' I said softly than folded my arms to stop my self from touching him 'Alexander I missed you' he said with a frown ' Why didn't you come see me' he than said I looked into his eyes sad and hurt. Where those eyes just like mines hurt and sad. 'Am sorry' I said than unfolded my arms leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. I closed my eyes and time stood still 'I love you' I breathed as I traveled to his lips.I didn't think when those very words escaped my lips just what I felt what I wanted to tell Alexander for forever. I turned to the sound of a broken glass Alexanders mom mouth was slightly opened and her hand that held the glass of water was now moving slowly to he mouth. 'Am so sorry ..'She shook her head as she repeated it than bent down to pick up the broken glass. She stood up 'Am going to see if someone can clean this up'she said than left. I looked back at Alexander awkwardly smiling 'I love you too Zeak'he said than laid his palm up I held it and he squeezed it .

I visited him everyday it was routine dare I say it he was getting better, I felt good to talk to Alexander like we use to but know it felt like everything was right. I had fallen asleep next to his bed and was woken with a kiss. Opening my eyes I saw the same chestnut brow hair and hazel eyes that made my heart melt every time I looked into them. Returning his kiss ever so softly than wrapped my arms around his neck. Alex last day was today and it seemed as everything was looking up my mom had stayed home longer than usual and Alexander's mom had decided to move out of the old house into a apartment so Alexander's can recover more quickly. Alexander was going to start up school again after they were done moving everything.

We moved the last box into Alexander's new room , he had little to unpack and I was helping out also. We just had to fix up his shelf of books and we were finished Alexander's mom went down to the country side to see Alexander's father and discuss somethings with him and I was in charge of keeping an eye on him he had managed by himself but after school I would go straight to see him.I knocked on the front door of the apartment and Alexander opened the door within seconds smiling than took a step back to let me in . The apartment was big the living room bigger than my own the window curtains drawn back to let light in making the living room alive and inviting. The smell of flowers, new paint, and summer filled the air around me I took in the place that was not like the house Alexander and his mom were living in before it wasn't the home that was decaying like Alexander and his mother and they could not do anything about it .I left the living room and went inside of Alexander's room and looked around on his bed he still had a pile of things I moved them to his closet arranging them the best I could.Books on the shelves and his unused canvas in the back of his closet. I walked back over to his bed feeling arms wrap around my stomach. Looking up I laughed as Alexander's nose touched mines he laughed as I rubbed the tip of his nose with mines and smiled 'Let go of me Alex' I said trying to get away' I like holding you like this Zeak'He said with a smile and held me tighter against him. I felt my legs buckle underneath me 'Don't worry I got you Zeak' still looking at him we paused than both bursted out laughing. I turned to face him a akward silence cut between the both of us I moved away Alexander pulled me closer I looked away than felt his lips graze my neck I shuddered and froze. 'Zeak' I whispered than tried to push him away feeling my face burn up.He lifted my chin and I met his eyes reluctantly than his lips met mines ever so lightly my eyes wide open in shock, I felt my body giving in when my eyes slowly closed and held him closer. I felt his hands on the middle of my back I didn't want Alexander It was just right his body against mines. His hands went up my shirt and I did the same we grinded each others bodies. I let out a soft moan as I felt him grow against me he picked me up and he covered my body with his kisses. Putting me up against the wall as he continued to kiss my neck. We started to undress our heavy breathing filling the air.

To be continued.




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