A Tale of Two Authors: Feeding the Ducks
By A. Sonky & A. Williams.
I want to be loved...
It's an ache so deep I lay awake at night trying to not let it consume me. Hugging my pillow to quell the ever-present loneliness I feel.
I want to be loved. Most importantly I want to love. Somewhere out there there's someone who cares. With a heart of gold... to have and to hold.
Damn I’m starting to quote lyrics now...
Quoting lyrics or not it doesn’t dispel the fact that I lay here in my bed alone.
All is dark and quiet except for the fan rotating above my head. It’s gentle swish would be soothing if it didn’t emphasize the fact that I am alone ..like always...
And like always it hurts my heart. I start to cry... again... what an old fool I am. A 35 year old fool....
I want love, need love, crave love. A craving eating away at me yet even now... Still nothing but a fleeting hook-up here or there...
Is it true? Is there really a someone, a forever one... I am beginning to disbelieve that and that realization is breaking me...no hope for forever love.
I am ashamed I feel this way.
I am a man.
Why am I so sappy...
Is it okay for a guy to feel this way... should a guy feel this way... Does it make me any bit less of a man...
I see my phone on the nightstand and think of Joe...my best bud for too many years to count. I want to call him but I know what he will say. ‘Its 2 in the morning did someone die?’...I have called him many times like this before. As a wreck...half drunk... depressed... sniffling from trying to cry myself to sleep.
He will tell me all the good things he knows about me and he’ll try to make me feel better. Then he will say we should go out. Then he will say let me introduce you to someone ...and he will. I might get a piece of ass that night but never a relationship or never ever love, not that deep true love.
Once I thought I had it. Once I thought this is it!
But he turned out to be nothing more than a cheating son of a fuck.
I’m lonely, I’m desperate and I’m crying in the dark ...alone again at 2am... like always.
I’ve almost slept the day away. Ultimately exhaustion will make me sleep... a soundless, dreamless void of sleep.
Noon on a Saturday. That means it’s time to feed the ducks. I struggle out of bed scratching my hair. It always takes me a while to wake up. The fog doesn’t seem to want to leave me today and I don’t spring up like a little lamb anymore. My hair is getting touches of white but I’m choosing to ignore it for now.
I used to take dried bread with me in a brown paper bag until I read somewhere that wasn’t good for the ducks. Now I get a bag of birdseed instead and sit on my bench in the park while I throw it around the ponds edge.
Only when. Only when it rains I’m not here.
Every other Saturday at noon this is where you’ll find me. I feel useless just thinking about it. But the ducks seem to like having me around which is nice.
Across the pond in my immediate line of sight there is another bench. Lately this bench has been occupied. He’s already there before I arrive and is still there as I leave.
Sitting on the bench opposite me... reading and I can never tell which book it is. His face is hidden by the hat he wears...
Saturdays precisely at noon a man comes and feeds the ducks. I’ve been watching him for a month now. He sits across the pond from me on another generic park bench same as mine and feeds the ducks... Though he’s obviously very popular among his feathered friends he always seems so sad and for some unknown reason my heart goes out to him.
I’m guessing he is mid-thirties... very tall, nice build with black shoulder length hair with a touch of grey. Very attractive in my opinion. Me? I’m forty with light blue eyes. My eyes are the reason I wear this hat. The sun can be relentless at times and I’m in need of protection. I have a full brown beard and short brown hair. I’ve been told they make my eyes stand out. I come here just to get out of the house... A park like this has no four walls to feel suffocated by. My name is Nick.
I love murder mystery’s such enthralling reads don’t you think? The thicker the better even if it had been the butler all along. Reading is an escape. It helps me relax. Living alone... well it can get tedious. It’s been so for... too many years to count now. I have friends, lots of friends but it’s not the same as having a partner.
Someone waiting for you after work every day.
Someone happy to see you, wanting to please you and love you...
Wanting to cuddle and watch some idiotic movie just to be with you... Wanting to go for a drive to nowhere and hold hands the whole time... Wanting to soak in the tub with you wash your back and other hard to reach places... Wanting to hold you tight at night and wanting to sleep with you even though you snore like rhinoceros...
No... Not the same at all.
Maybe next Saturday I will approach him and introduce myself.
...How many weeks now have I been saying that?
Noon. I’ve almost slept the day away again.
Noon on a Saturday. That means it’s time to feed the ducks. I struggle out of bed scratching my hair. On my way out I grab the usual bag of birdseed and stuff it in my pocket. Can’t let the ducks down now can we?
I arrive at my usual bench at my usual time. But today I’m not pleased someone left their litter laying around. I grab the paper left on my seat and move to throw it away before I notice the writing...
I halt staring down at the paper I lift my head and look around bemused. No one around. No more than usual anyway. Just me, the ducks and the guy across the pond, with the hidden face and the unknown book in his hands.
I pause before opening the note. Is this for me?
You are perfect just the way you are
I’m swallowing my nerves best I can. Will he read my note? What will he do?Please read it. Please don’t throw it away.
I daren't stir.
I just watch.
Watch him read it and see a puzzled smile on his face. I watch him sitting there for an hour staring at the note...
He rubs his eyes and it’s the first inclination I have that he’s been crying. His shoulders never moved nor had he uttered a sound but there had been silent tears all along.
I don’t know how to feel about this...I want to rush over and hug those tears away. I made him cry. But he’s smiling so are they tears of happiness instead of sobs of sadness?
All I want is for him to be happy. I can’t exactly explain why. Why I am l so attached to a complete stranger...
He looks around again before leaving. He normally leaves around this time.
But today is different.
Today he forgot to feed the ducks...
- Joe -
“What are these Charlie?” I’m standing by his sideboard, shuffeling the notes he keeps there. Though he prefers Charles calling him Charlie is one of the perks of being someones closest friend. I sets my beer down as I read through them.
“They’re from my... “ Charlie smiles as he comes to stand beside me. “ er... secret admirer I guess.”
“Your what?” His what?
“Yes.” He smiles again touching the papers gently. “I get one every Saturday at the park” One or two portray a single sentence while others are more elaborate.
- You have a friend you don’t see but a friend in me -
- I see such a beautiful heart. One so full of love... -
- I am sincere. I am true as are my feelings for you. Could I be more? More than a friend? -
The other notes were making me uncomfortable with their level of sappiness but Charlie seemed to love them.
“Is it a guy?” How intriguing... Charlie’s has been smiling more lately too. I’ve haven’t gotten 3AM phone calls in a while either.
He doesn’t answer me but he’s blushing.
“What? Why are you blushing man?” This is just too funny!
Charlie hesitates before reaching into his inside pocket and gives me a hidden folded note. “This was todays...”
I like making you smile
I want to make you happy
I want to lick you all over
I’m hard for you
I desire you
I dream of you”
I whistle my astonishment. “Dammn.”
“I know.” he sighs softly. Charlie isn’t usually the bashful type. I hope he doesn’t crash and burn with this.
“So you don’t know anything about this guy?”
“Only his words.”
“Not even what he looks like?” I don’t know if i like this...
“You have like eight notes here man. What are you going to do about this?”
“I don’t know.”
A new Saturday. A new note. Time to feed the ducks!
I’m nervous to read it this time. Last weeks secret pleasure burning a whole in my breast pocket... close to my heart. I almost feel embarrassed treasuring it as I do.
Unfolding the new note I see that today in contains nothing more than a single question. A question I’m not quite sure how to answer.
- Would you’re eyes like to see mine? -
A meet. He want’s to meet. It’s been leading up to this for some weeks now. I knew it would. I want it to. But...
I sit on my bench for awhile mulling over what to do. It’s almost time for me to leave soon...
I take out a pen and scribble a reply. “They do but what do I know of you? Though your words are so sweet. How will it be if we meet?”
I leave the note behind on the bench and walk my usual way home.
Well until I’m just outside the park where I run along it’s hidden parameter to another entrance and hide in the nearest bushes. I watch my bench. I don’t know if my secret admirer will show up or if the note will blow away before he gets here... I just wait.
Before too long I see movement but it isn’t the movement I expect. Though truth be told I didn’t know what to expect.
The man with hat and the unknown book walks from his bench to mine. He picks up my note. At first I think maybe he believes I’ve just forgotten it but before I move he reads it and tucks it into his pocket.
No he meant to do that. He’s the one.
He strolls through the park and passes my hiding place on his way out. I follow. I don’t precisely know how my body moves before I fully register what it’s doing.
All afternoon long I follow him. I keep my distance but match his stride.
His walk is lose yet he has a distinctive gait. A man certain of his movements.
He enters a bookshop, shops a while before buying a rather thickish new book. After several more bookshops he walks through half the town to enter a little quant coffeeshop. Where he obviously knows the owners and is greeted with much enthusiasm.
This is where he finally takes off his hat and I see his eyes.
Later that night I hug my pillow to me. The loneliness that once felt so oppressive to me seems in a way lifted. I want to be loved and most of all I want to love and maybe, just maybe that very eventuality could be within reach.
Saturdays precisely at noon he comes and feeds the ducks. Today too he’s right on time. I can’t say I’m even pretending to read my book this time. What will he do?
My note today holds an invitation. An invitation to dinner.
All he has to do is show up at the Dalia Inn at 6.30PM tonight. I don’t know why I’m nervous at this very moment. I have a few more hours to go before our rendez-vous...
He’s reading it.
But I see no reaction. He just continues to feed the duck just like he always does. Not even a smile? Nothing different in his manner... What’s wrong? I’ve been able to read him like the open book in my lap for all these weeks. Why today... of all days!
He walks along the pond feeding the ducks. He doesn’t do this usually. Maybe when he’s closer and I can see his face... It will tell me what I need to know...
I don’t get to see his face cause before I’m well aware of it. He’s sitting next to me.
What do I do? This isn’t part of my carefully thought out plan for our first meeting. Why is he here?
When he speaks, he floors me with a single question.
“How about lunch instead of dinner?”
I don’t think I’ve ever had a such a Saturday. A lunch full of laughter and talk followed by a walk through town. We walked and walked and walked.
I’ve lived in this town my entire life and he’s shown me places I’d never been before, told me stories I’ve never heard.
He’s quite a guide this Nicolas Weatherby. I couldn’t help but listen to every word he said. How can a voice be such a turn on? Fill you with desire just by listening to it. Have your spine tingle with shivers just with a laugh or eyes glinting as they look at you...
If I hadn’t been halfway in love with this man merely through his words, the whole package would have pulled me all the way over that edge. So I tumble...
That smooth kind voice of his. Eyes a cloudless sky of blue, an adonis build with features so youthful and happy. Damn even the beard... even that nicely kept beard framing those kissable lips in a crooked smile.
Who could not fall in love with such a man?
An urge welled up inside me. An urge to just take him. All I wanted was to take him right then and there on the sidewalk. Not caring how many people walked by.
I wanted this man, all of him.
After an intimate dinner which was just an excuse to rest our weary feet and spend more time together, we’re at his front door.
His house is surprisingly close to mine. A beautiful old brownstone, his ancestral home he states. I hesitate to say my goodbye and he hesitates to open his door.
It seems neither one of us want to end our day.
So why should we?
“Can I come in?”
Nick looks at me, I see what’s going on behind those cloudless eyes of his. Cause there is no doubt in my mind he’s seeing the exact same thing in mine.
“You know what’s going to happen if you come in don’t you?”
“Yes Nick I know.”
“You sure you’re ready for that?”
“Nick. We’ve been dancing through for-play for over 2 months now. I know what I want, I’m looking at him. We’re no spring chickens anymore... What’s the point in waiting...”
He just looks at me after his little confession... restful and waiting. His eyes the open book I know so well. I take his hand, swiftly unlock the door and pull him inside.
Bed, sofa or shower?
I quickly mull pulling him through my dark house before spotting my favourite place in the whole house.
To the conservatory!
I flip a switch as we walk through the arch leading into my inner sanctum. Soft lights awaken around the room.
“Wow” Charles breathes as he digests what he sees. I remodeled the conservatory a few years ago triple glazing, a wooden interior and plants just about everywhere. “You want to devour your prey like a cat in the jungle?” he grins. His voice is scratchy in the sexiest sort of way imaginable when he speaks.
Of course I do. I was sure before, today just confirmed everything I’ve known I felt already.
I still haven’t let go of Charles’s hand as of yet. I turn to fully face him and... all of a sudden I’m overcome by nerves like I’m some virgin on his wedding night.
We haven’t even kissed yet.
Holding his hand like this is the first time we’ve touched.
I stare up at him heart caught in my throat.
Maybe I need to slow down just a little bit.
“Am I your prey? Has the hunter caught his prize?” Charles teases in jest yet an underlying emotion of vulnerability is heard through his words.
“Of course you are Charles.” Nick grins softly removing his hat with a flourish. “One I intend to keep. Come sit” he says as he chucks his shoes taking a seat on the sofa. Charles sits close mimicking his actions.
“Would you care for a night-cap Charles ... a well-aged Scotch?” Charles smiles as Nick’s heart rate increases.
Such a handsome man... That long black hair looks so damn soft.
“I’ll take mine neat. Thank you.” the man replies. Nick pulls away and Charles almost pulls him back before he can get too far. But he doesn’t, he stifles the desire the rip those clothes off. He’s a guest in this mans home and a guest should have manners. Ravishing your host within second of setting foot inside is probably bad form.
Nick’s bare feet pad to the bar... damn even his feet are sexy. He returns with the refreshments handing one to Charles. Reclaiming his seat sitting sideways one leg tucked under his chin and he’s facing Charles.
Charles immediately moves his body so they’re facing each other... touching. Both men smiling, both men taking a long drink from their glasses. Both men gaze in each other’s eyes. Such a comfortable quiet moment.
Charles allows his free hand to rub Nick’s bare foot. “I have never been into feet before but I swear... everything about you Nick...” He confesses gently rubbing Nicks foot.
“I’ve never seen the appeal of long hair before you... I guess we both see things each other we never expected.” Nick smiles reaching out to curl his fingers around the long black mane.
This quiet fondling continues until Nick lowers his hand to touch the side of Charles’s cheek. “I am so happy you are here with me Babe. Can...can I call you Babe?”
“Anything else would be an insult.”
Charles downs his drink and stands to set his glass on the side table. He removes his shirt, pulling it over his head and lets it fall to the floor.
“Please let me. Please let me unwrap my prize.” Nick reaches out to undo Charles’s belt, unzips his slacks slowly and lets them fall to the floor. Unable to suppress a moan seeing the hairless toned body in just a pair tight boxers standing right in front of him, package at eye level.
“Let me get us a refill Bright Eyes.” Charles says stepping out of his slacks and leaning over to grab their glasses.
Nick quickly grabs his wrist. “No. I have all I want right here.” he stands up beside Charles
The sofa is manufactured in such a way that all Nick needs to do was push a button; nudge the armrest just so for it to easily slide out flat into a bed. Which is exactly what he does.
Charles grins pulling Nick close to him. “You’ve got me as good as naked before you but you still haven’t kissed me yet.”
“Let’s remedy that.” As his lips touches Charles Nick’s knees buckle. As the gentle tongue slips into his mouth Nick moans feeling Charles reach up to rub his soft beard. Feeling Charles’s hands on him, caressing him, exploring him. Unbuttoning his shirt letting it slide off his shoulders, fingers trailing over inch of skin exposed. This time Charles moans as he feels the soft chest hair slide under his fingers. Nick’s belt is unbuckled; his slacks drop to the floor.
Nick knows this is happening he feels every movement but his lips still haven’t left Charles’s. He’s trembling with need and apprehension of what’s to come. Even more than before he feels like he’s a virgin on his wedding night.
The only things between them now is their underwear.
“Now let me unwrap you and see all of you Bright Eyes.”
“Yes.” Nick breathes eyes soft.
Charles moves to sit on the foot of the sofa bed, slowly sliding his hands up Nick’s velvety hairy legs until he reaches the waist band of his boxers. Slowly he removes them groaning audibly at what he sees. A full big brown bush surrounds a very thick long uncut cock Charles sat so close his nose almost touched the tip. Underneath two very large and hairy egg sized balls hung low and delicious.
“Some grand prize I have found here Nick. Looks so...” Charles bits his under lip keep his eyes fixed on his winnings. “... May I have a taste?” He does not wait for and answer; he swallows that monster whole in one smooth gulp.
Charles loves to suck cock; he’s very, very skilled at it too. Years of practice will do that for you. Nick moans out unable to keep quiet any longer “YES...!” Charles obliges wholeheartedly using all his talents to please his man.
Hearing his own moaning scream Nick’s surprised at himself... never has he screamed out before... It is not how a gentlemen should behave but his Babe is doing things to him... wonderful things... So why restrain? Why hold back at all....
“Babe that feels amaaugh...p-please don’t stop.”
Charles’s raises off Nicks pulsing organ, “Bright Eyes I want you to cum for me, I want to tastes you... Please ...” He returns to his lovers cock nibbling the foreskin. He sucks at it, slurps at it and licks it. So damn tasty... and goes right back to taking him whole.
Never have lips given him such pleasure. Never has the world behind his clenched eyes exploded with colour. This was one amazing ride and Nick was tethering on the edge... balancing until he fell right into the finale.
“Oh babe so cl....Yes...OOOOOOO...” His own scream filled his ears until he heard no sound at all just felt the tension release in chest as his lungs wailed out. Shooting 2 no 4 no 6 long blasts of cream into Charles awaiting mouth so hard and so fast his balls ached. Charles swallowed it all every single mouthful.
Before Nick was aware of anything again his body tumbled down onto the bed. Trying to catch his breath he giggled feeling Charles slide up against him. Skin to skin, hands roaming over inch, feeling everything down to the most minute scare on the inside of Nick left thigh.
Slowly Nick positioned himself over Charles pushing those long legs up and over... gently... slowly without breaking their rhythm for a single second. The winking he received staring right into a most glorious sight forced a growl from him.
He leaned in without a word, tenderly pressing his face against the smooth skin. Their mutual moans echoing their satisfaction. Charles could feel the tickle of Nick’s soft beard, his tongue thick and wet... raising him up slowly... very slowly...
The contrast of their unbridled emotions with the tenderness of their actions was almost too much to bear. “Yesss...” Charles whispered at the feel of fingers replacing tongue. With every new finger Charles growled, his chest vibrating with the effort, which almost pushed Nick right of the edge again right then and there.
“Make love to me Bright Eyes. Please without anything...” Charles pleaded.
Nick froze as the meaning sunk in.
“I can’t do that Babe.”
Charles frowned propped up on his elbows. “What? Why?”
“I want to believe me I really do. There is almost nothing else in the world I want to do more but I can’t.” Nicks eyes pained to see the hurt on Charles’s face. “I just can’t do that without knowing for sure we’re both save.” He reached up his hands holding Charles’s face, thumb stroking his cheek soothingly.
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Implicitly. But it has nothing to do with trust. Sometimes things happen that are completely out of our control. You are far too important to place a game of chance with. The second we’re sure I promise nothing will bar us.”
“...You’re... you’re right it’s just I...” Charles melted a little inside as he stared into Nick’s sincere eyes. “I just got carried away. At least one of us is thinking straight.”
“About the only straight thoughts I’ve ever had.” Nick grinned making light of the situation. To be fair Charles didn’t even notice when Nick produced a sleeve from godknowswhere and suited up, as his tongue never broke rhythm continuing what his fingers had started.
He didn’t even need to tell Nick that it had been awhile. I didn’t need to voice anything else except a plea to please... please... ah...
“You sure you are ready Babe?”
“Please make love to me. Make me lose myself, make me cum...” Charles begged his voice a breath of what I had been before. As Nick broke threw they both moaned. A moan of release and one of relief. A moan of satisfaction and almost... disbelieve. They had found what they’d been waiting for.
Nick bent low grabbing Charles close to him, kissing him deeply with every inch he sunk in. Charles’s arms and legs tightly around the man filling him, stacking claim.
Nick brought his lips to Charles’s ear. “How does it feel to be full of me Babe?” he whispered.
Charles couldn’t answer; his voice didn’t reach his mouth. If he could have he would have said: “Feels like you should have been there all along. Feels like I’m home. Feels like ... heaven. I want you so much an want you to make love to me.”
Nick went back to Charles’s mouth; he understood there was no need to speak.
Out slowly... In slowly... Out slowly... In slowly.
A breath hitched with every take.
The earth could have crumbled and it would not have mattered. Right in that slow precious moment there was only the cocoon of their two mingled bodies. Hot, sweaty and needy.
There was no frenzy, not yet that would come later...
Soon Nick touched that magic button and Charles screamed out. He screamed and clawed Nicks back and trembled uncontrollably. “I’mcomingI’mcomingI’mcomig....”
Charles shoots load after and load of cream in-between their pressed chests. His partner releasing deep inside as Charles contracted around him, unable to hold back and not really caring to either. He collapsed on his lover slick with sweat and out of breath.
Before long Charles’s hands began to move up and down Nick’s wet back in lazy loving strokes.
“Damn Bright Eyes...” He whispered in his ear, words again failing him.
Nick laughed “Me too Babe... me too.”
They lay together exhausted, an exhaustion much greater than from physical exertion alone... Quickly they fell asleep in that exact position. There was no one around to see. So why care?
The familiar sickly sweet scent of the blooming orchids prickled my nose. The conservatory is filled with them it makes waking up so much more enjoyable. I love waking up in here my own personal jungle...
Today the orchids aren’t the only things to fill me with joy. I can feel his body beside me before I even open my eyes to see the light of day. I feel his form weighing down the bed; I feel his skin under my fingers and the soft rising of his sleeping chest. Before long I feel his breathing break it’s steady sleepy rhythm.
I finally open my eyes to see him awaken. We lay facing each other on our side. He has such a cute sleepy face... small half open eyes a little dazed after sleep, his hair messy and that small lazy smile...
“Sorry did it bother you?” I ask. I know it has bothered others in the passed. I’ve tried everything to stop it but nature can’t be refused some times.
He closes his eyes again but the small smile widens. “I didn’t say that.”
I stroke his cheek and feel some morning stubble coming through. He snakes out his hand pulling my waist to him closing the breath of space separating us. He snuggles his head just under my collarbone and seems to smelt against me.
“Hmmm, perfect fit...” he purrs.
We lay like this for a while... Just resting in each other arms. Enjoying the moment.
“You have to be anywhere today?” I ask.
Charles moves his head to look at me. “No Bright Eyes I don’t... do you need me to go?” He shifts his body a little away from me.
“No Babe not at all.” I try not to sound alarmed as he started to pull away from me. But I needn’t have bothered.
Charles pushes my fully on my back straddling me making me laugh as he does so. “Good.” He grins. “Cause you’re edible from head to toe and I get to do you my way today.”
“Which way it that?” I giggle as Charles leans over his hair falling of his shoulders curtaining our faces
“With abandon.” He smirks eyes alight and glinting kissing me in a way that sends tingles to my toes. “You know what Bright Eyes?”
“I’m going to love coming home to you every day.” Though he says it in way of a statement, I know that is not what it is.
“And I’m going to love holding you tight every night.” I answer his indirect question pausing to try and say what I already know is true. “Babe... I....”
“I know... Me to Bright Eyes.... Me to...”
In a small obscure town far away from anything interesting, there is a park. A park with a pond.
Like many parks with ponds this park has ducks.
Yet unlike many parks with ponds and ducks, this park has very happy ducks.
Every Saturday at noon like clockwork, two men feed these ducks. Except on rainy days. On rainy days the ducks go hungry.
We hope you liked our story.
We wrote this for the fun of it. Cause you know... why the hell not?
Let us know what you think if you have comments, suggestions and/or constructive criticism comment below. You can also email Sonky or ask for A. Williams's details.
It makes writing here worth while!
A. Sonky & A. Williams