'You know what's the only difference between a movie star and a gay porn star?'
I shook my head, with a naive, twenty-one year old grin. 'No, sir,' I replied.
Vicar puffed on a cigar, pushing himself back into his director's chair. 'Both suck cock to make it in the film business. But the one's more honest about it than the other. Which is why I prefer dudes like you,' he continued. 'You're up-front about your motives. You've got good looks and want to make money from it - and who the fuck can blame you? But you're not like these Hollywood divas. Blowing the director behind the scenes and then denying it after they've made their name! Like we don't know it goes on! No, porn stars are sincere - and I respect that. They suck cock. They fuck ass. Just like these big-name movie stars. But they make no secret about it. What's more,' he added, puckering on the cigar again, 'you don't get me asking wanna-bes to blow me off to secure their part in a film! Fuck, they can say what they like about my flicks, but no-one's ever got a part other than by means of their own ability. And gees, I've got every single casting couch on film to prove it!'
He chuckled to himself, but it did little to remove my feeling of uncertainty. Fact is, I'd never done anything like this before and I still wasn't sure whether I'd be able to manage it when the time came. After all, it was only way too natural to jerk off in private. But in front of a camera, with Dane Vicar and a couple of cameramen filming me from every conceivable direction - well, that was a different matter entirely.
'You gotta pretend we ain't here,' the director continued, almost as if he could read me mind. 'Just imagine you're in your room at home and that you've just watched some horny flick on TV ...'
But that was a whole lot easier said than done.
So let me tell me about myself.
And perhaps more to the point, how I got to be sitting with my pants round my ankles, surrounded by a film crew in the offices of BellaDonna Studios, Sacramento.
My name's Scott Beattie and I hailed originally from Toledo, Ohio. When I was twelve my folks moved near Pittsburgh, which was where I met Sally, with whom I sort of had an on-off relationship throughout my teens. To be frank, I always sort of thought it'd work out with her, but it wasn't to be. Fact is she went off to Long Island when we were twenty, leaving me to my dead-end factory job back home. That's where I'd be now, I'm sure, if it wasn't for a chance encounter with one of Vicar's scouts in Atlantic City. They were cruising for good-looking, outgoing guys in need of pay for a bit of modelling (as they put it) and I sniffed an interest. Well, what had I got to lose? Besides, I was always strapped for cash and this seemed the answer to my prayers.
A few weeks later and I was summoned to a private meeting with another scout back in Pittsburgh. This dude appeared even more convinced of my potential. Said I'd give Brad Pitt a run for his money and that the company he worked for would provide me the opportunity to go as far as I liked with my looks. Which was when he asked me whether I'd be prepared to do some nude shots should the need arise - a question that amazed me, I must admit. Fuck, I must've been dumb! But at the time it just never occurred to me that I was being groomed for a business I didn't even know existed.
Several months passed and I began to think that nothing was gonna come of it. Until they mailed me from California, asking me to attend a photo-shoot with the company's director, Dane Vicar. He introduced me to some of his crew, as well as a couple of other guys who he was interviewing for 'positions'. Then proceeded to literally charm the pants off me!
Even now I can't quite believe how he managed it, but Vicar was a seasoned operator and knew exactly which buttons to press to allay my inhibitions. His main leverage being the good old-fashioned greenback. For as he stressed, the further I was prepared to go for him, the more bucks would be mine - and that, somewhat naturally, was the biggest incentive anyone could've laid for any young man.
Which brings me to my screen-test. For having checked my birth-certificate and taken a blood-test, Vicar swept me into a room, sat me down in a chair, and informed me that I had everything going for me to be something big. The looks, the personality - and (as he discovered when I slipped out of my clothes for him for the very first time) the equipment. Well let's face it, eight inches of uncut cock went a long, long way with Vicar!
'Okay,' he sighed, lying back in his chair. 'In your own time now ...'
I paused momentarily, glancing round me. 'Actually, Sir,' I gasped. 'I don't think I can do this. It's just - well, I'm not - I'm not gay!'
Vicar laughed. 'What the fuck's that gotta do with things?' he exclaimed. 'You think you're unique or something? Gees, I'm asking you to jerk yourself off, not give me a blow-job! Although if that's something that interests you like ...'
'Maybe I'll go home,' I suggested, reaching for my pants.
'Well, that's up to you,' the governor shrugged. 'But it'd be a big shame. I mean, do you really wanna be factory-fodder for the rest of your days? Eh? Or do you like the idea of driving a cool car? Owning a nice house? Having enough money in the bank to do what you like, when you like ...'
'It's acting,' he promptly reminded me. 'You don't have to be gay! Just like Judy Garland didn't need to own a dog called Toto to be in The Wizard of Oz! You just need to convince your audience. You just need to sell yourself on-screen!'
I took a deep breath. I mean, his words made sense. Perfect sense. So much sense, in fact, that I immediately slipped out of my pants again and grabbed hold of my hose. Working my fingers up and down the entire length of my meat.
'That's it, man,' Vicar smiled. 'Just imagine none of us are here ...'
In hindsight, I wonder what I was worried about.
But at the time - during those first few moments of filming - it all felt so surreal.
As I continued to stroke myself. My hand rolling back and forth, yanking my skin over my crimson helmet, before pulling it back to reveal the full extent of my hard length.
Whilst Vicar sat nonchalantly by. The cameras whirring in the background, capturing every exquisite detail of boyish charm.
Of course, they'd seen it all before. Had watched a thousand young studs work themselves up into a climatic frenzy.
Yet for me this was all completely new. And very exciting.
For within less than a minute I had slipped into the roll of wanton frat. Was even daring to momentarily glance towards the camera, whilst running my tongue across my lip.
Above all, was acting out the role of a young, horny male. Whose body was rushing with hormones, and whose only desire was to squeeze my own tight balls dry.
Fuck, it felt good. The touch of my skin upon my aching flesh, as I now cupped my cum-sac with my one hand, teasing its dark, curly hairs as I did so.
Whilst an ooze of delicious slick dribbled from the end of my shaft. Coating my long, thick shaft with a generous layer of excitement, as the one cameraman zoomed up closer to my pleasure. An undeniable bulge beginning to show in his pants.
Not that Vicar showed any such emotion. Which served only to make me more intent on seducing him. Working my young magic on his crusty, middle-aged soul. Making him wish that he was nineteen again, when a lad is full of energy and bursting with gallons of hot jizz.
As such, I let out the very slightest of groans. Half-closing my cornflower eyes. Biting my lips as if to prevent me from producing the fanatical spray that I longed to bring forth.
Playing the part of a hot, gay fucker. Me - who'd never even thought of having sex with anyone other than a girl. My concentration fixed on the pay-check, though in reality I was privately enjoying my own performance. Savouring my first hazy steps into immortality.
I knew it was the money-shot that interested Vicar most. He seemed that sort of guy.
What's more, it was what interested me the most too. I mean like the name implied, it was what all this was about. Fuck, it was one thing to look the part of a stud, but I knew that a healthy spurt of spunk was essential if I was gonna clinch the deal here and I couldn't help but sense a hint of anxiety as I reached the point of no return.
After all, I needed the next few moments to be good. I needed to grasp Vicar's rigid attention, so that I could literally throttle a contract out of the guy.
Above all, I needed him to want me. I needed every gay guy in the world to want me! So that Vicar would demand my signature on the dotted line and free me from the humdrum world of Pittsburgh in the process.
'Fuck!' I screeched, as the weight of spunk welled at the base of my shaft. My face screwing up in the ecstasy of cum-birth. 'I'm gonna cum, man!'
With that, the first heady bolt of juice ruptured from my slit. Blasting into the air with breathtaking force, before splattering across my belly.
It was a shot in a million and a momentary glance towards Vicar told me that I had already secured my place. For his earlier careless ease had now transformed itself into keen interest, as I continued to involuntarily force a whole cascade of sperm out of the end of my swollen knob-end. Wad after thick, generous wad of purest excitement. Plastering my skin with the sticky richness of youth in the process.
A final spurt concluded my fiery exhibition, before I gasped back into my chair, and began to realise exactly what I had done.
I mean, gees, I'd actually jerked off in front of someone else! Had allowed someone to film me performing this grossly intimate act! Had exposed myself in a way that hitherto I wouldn't have even dreamed of doing!
It was a realisation that left me feeling decidedly edgy. For although I have privately enjoyed the experience of showman, there was still that element of guilt. That feeling of dirtiness. That sense of having crossed a moral Rubicon.
Though Vicar's flattery meant that it didn't last very long!
Fact is, he'd got me wrapped round his finger before I even realised it. Talking of his next flick and suggesting that it wouldn't be too long before I would have opportunity to appear in a scene or two of my own.
'You play your cards right,' he smiled, 'and I think you could have some very interesting years ahead of you, young man ...'
With that he sent me off for a shower.
Over the next few weeks I gradually ceased to be Scott Beattie.
For my acting name would be Luke Meyer, and with my new identity came fresh bravado. My initial reservations slowly transformed into a more cocky, self-assured identity.
Not that I was completely without my doubts when Vicar finally insisted in the next stage of my progress. For having filmed me jerking off on several occasions, I arrived at the studio one morning to find myself introduced to two established stars - Jamie Arch and Mikey Williams. Who, I was promptly informed, were being paid to take my cherry.
And all in front of a camera crew!
There was a real mix of emotions inside my head when I was first told of the plan.
A buzz of excitement. But also a real fear that I was gonna let the others down.
I mean let's face it, I'd never been fucked before. Had never even thought of the idea until very recently. And I felt sure that I was unlikely to live up to Vicar's expectations.
Yet my two co-stars proved to be two of the coolest guys I could've ever hoped to meet - nothing like the sort of screwed-up, self-obsessed individuals I might've imagined. They talked, they laughed. And by the time I'd had my pre-filming enema, I felt that I couldn't have asked for two nicer dudes to ease me into the profession.
Fact is, I was actually looking forward to the experience by the time we took to set, and (like many a novice) was perhaps just that little too eager to start.
But Vicar was every inch the professional. Had made the studio's name by being so. And taking firm control, he ordered the three of us into our starting positions. Three horny young guys, ready to suck and fuck our way to ecstasy.
I'd never kissed another man before I first kissed Mikey - a tall, dark, heavily muscled individual, with a reputation for sporting quite a weapon between his legs. But it was nowhere near as different to kissing a girl as I imagined.
Besides, what reservations I had were very firmly countered by the prospect of cashing my pay-check. A thought that, if anything, simply turned me on all the more.
For there was something truly erotic about being paid to have sex. And indeed it was only at that moment that I finally realised the truth about my new profession. About Vicar, and about the two guys he had chosen to ram their cocks up my virgin ass.
Quite simply, these guys were prostitutes. Paid to fuck on camera. Whilst their boss was a glorified pimp. The brothel-keeper, who had built an empire for himself by employing handsome studs to act out the fantasies of his viewing public. Young men like myself, who not only had the necessary looks, but who were ready to open their holes in exchange for a healthy financial reward.
Yes, the fact was that I was now a fully paid-up hooker. A realisation that should surely have shocked me, but which instead just left me feeling hornier and hotter than ever.
I don't think I could justifiably describe the boner I had in my pants as the cameras started to roll. Gees, it was straining like fury. Eight inches of pulsing man-meat, which almost groaned with relief when Jamie, a blond with deep-set blue eyes, finally unzipped my pants and unleashed the dripping shaft.
Not that he was initially allowed to slip his mouth over my aching crown. For Vicar promptly interrupted filming, and a succession of camera moves followed. After all, the director's primary objective at all times was to capture every exquisite detail of our action, aware that no other attitude would satisfy his audience. For his reputation was for raw, no-holds-barred material, and the eventual customer, sat in the comfort of his own home, did not want subtlety. No, he wanted to closely witness every orifice as it was filled, every hard penetration as it happened. What's more, this particular scene was destined to be sold on the entire premise of my deflowering. For, as Vicar himself had explained, seeing young men fucked for the first time was highly popular amongst his fan-base, and there was no doubt in his mind that sales of my wanton desecration would not disappoint.
The action resumed, and Jamie was at last given leave to gorge on my shaft. Pulling back the skin and observing the sticky delights underneath, before opening his hungry mouth and feeding on the tasty pole.
Not that this was the first time I had ever been blown, of course. Sally, for one, had had her share of my manhood in her time. But it was the first time that I had been gobbled by another guy, and to be honest the whole experience came as a shock.
For I'd never expected a man to be so fucking good with his tongue!
I mean let's face it, giving head was for women - not guys! Yet here was Jamie, slurping on my pole with a passion and intensity that no woman could ever show. Running his mouth over just those parts of my cock that brought me greatest pleasure. Feeding on my flesh with such rampant professionalism that I honestly wondered whether I would ever want anything other than a guy hanging off my cock again.
What's more, my conversion seemed complete when Mikey leaned down and began to do pretty much the same. The two of them now almost fighting for my rod like a couple of whores. Whilst the cameramen moved in and out amongst us, recording the event.
'Cut!' declared Vicar suddenly, before instructing the two boys to hold their positions whilst a photographer took some stills. The camera closing in to a succession of snaps.
'Okay, guys,' the director now continued. 'You're doing well ...'
With that we returned to our acting. Mikey setting more of the pace now, as he worked himself down to my balls and began to suck on those two sweet orbs.
Whilst another camera seemed to come up from underneath to observe him. Whirring away as it detailed his lengthy tongue running over my hairy, wrinkled skin. Working the heavy cum-sac that nestled between my legs.
'Cut!' came the cry again. As I was instructed to put my one leg up onto a chair, exposing my slit in the process. Before a further succession of stills were taken.
'Action!' And the two returned to my oral manipulation. By which point the constant interruptions had slowly helped me understand the base reality here. That Vicar held no affection for any of us, but was rather using us as pawns for his own financial purpose. We each had a commercial value to him - nothing more, nothing less. And so long as we maintained that value, by means of our hard cocks and heavy balls, we would maintain his favour. Otherwise, our careers would be cut short without the slightest sentimentality.
Strangely, however, this realisation did not discourage me.
Instead, it merely turned me on all the more. Made me even more determined to perform for his approval. For we were his sluts. His crude fornicators. And I for one was adamant that we would end this present scene as credits to his business.
What's more, to prove it, I would now surrender my anal virginity for the pleasure of all his desperate customers.
I had no choice in who fucked me first. Vicar was adamant it would be Jamie.
Then grinned. 'I wanna see that virgin ass of yours slapped real good!' he remarked. 'The value of my shares are dependent on it!'
I actually liked his style, but was unsure now that the moment of consummation had finally arrived. 'Will it hurt?' I quizzed.
Vicar laughed. 'Gees, if I had a dollar for every time a straight guy's asked me that! No, man - not if it's done properly. And believe me, I've picked just the right dudes here to make sure that's what happens! Fuck, Jamie and Mikey have broken in more young fillies than you've had hand-jobs!'
The two guys gave disarming, toothy smiles, but I was still a little fazed even when I'd been placed with my butt in the air and Mikey was rimming my ass for the camera.
Fact is, I just didn't know what to expect, though my attention was distracted by Vicar's instruction for Jamie to stand in front of me, so as to allow him to thrust his throbbing manhood into my mouth.
I mean gees, I'd never given a blow before, and just seeing the guy's cock looking me straight in the eye was enough to take my breath away. Still, it was too late to back out now, and grasping the solid base of shaft, I pulled back his skin to reveal the delicious crimson head that was nestling underneath just for me.
'Cut!' snapped the director again, as my tongue made final impact on that drooling end. At which, a few more snaps were taken, whilst another camera swung underneath to capture the action from below.
Fuck, if only Sally could've seen me!!
'Action!' barked the instruction. Jamie's shaft slowly slipped over my tongue. Pushing a salty trail of pre-cum into my mouth, which if anything tasted far better than I had imagined.
Indeed, there was no disguising the enthusiasm that I soon began to display on the length of the guy's love-rod, as I sucked harder on his flesh. Gorging on his meat, whilst the cameras closed in on either side to record my youthful escapade.
What's more, I hardly noticed that Mikey had started to finger my ring. Lubing it will a little grease, then sliding the digit in and out of the widening hole.
In fact, it was only when the feeling in my rump gained a decidedly pleasurable air - as Mikey started to thrust two fingers deep into the cavern - that I really took any notice of what was happening behind me. For sucking Jamie's cock was even more incredible than I had ever imagined, particularly given the thought that I was only doing it in exchange for payment. Like a cheap whore, I had surrendered whatever dignity I once had, and was clearly now willing to do literally anything in exchange for the next dollar.
'Cut!' Vicar snorted once again. And with the instruction came one to Mikey to slip his shaft into a rubber. The time had finally come for my rectum to be well and truly stuffed!
Several hands promptly lubed my ass again, whilst the cameras whistled round us. Securing the best positions like the paparazzi.
At which point the director grabbed hold of Mikey's rod and nestled it up against my crack. With such matter-of-factness that I couldn't help but be reminded of our place in the scheme of this business. That we were mere chattels. Valued only for our good looks and our willing dicks. And whose role it was to squeeze as much money from the viewing punters as was possible.
'Right,' Vicar now proclaimed, 'I want to get the look on the bottom's face as he gets fucked. And another camera underneath the top so that we get to see the cock go in!'
Gees, it was just all so cold. So emotionless. But in hindsight I'm amazed that I thought it would be any different. For we were merely performing a service. Doing a job. Acting before the cameras, just like those stars in Hollywood do all the time. As such there was no reason for any subsequent guilt, save perhaps for the thought that we might have performed better given another chance. Which again merely encouraged me to do the best that I could. To prove my worthiness for being here at all.
If someone had ever told me beforehand that I would spend four hours solid having sex with two guys before a cascade of cameras, I wouldn't have believed them. But that's exactly what happened. What's more, I can't begin to describe how much I enjoyed it.
Just the thrill of being brazenly fucked up the ass for the cash. Just the knowledge that I was sucking cock as a means to gain financial security. Just knowing that my ultimate cum-shot was my claim on Vicar's commercial reward. Gees, it was fucking hot!
What's more, I knew that I'd be more than willing to do it again. And again.
I was addicted. But fuck, I'd only just begun!
Vicar must have liked what he saw, because the next thing I knew I was being signed up for more action. Another threesome, this time for his internet site. Followed by a scene in his latest DVD release, where I was fucked over a desk by the great Tom Columbia.
Indeed, over the next twelve months I was popping back and forth to Sacramento with feverish regularity, whilst my bank balance slowly gained respectability. A veritable hooker now, I could say nothing to my folks back in Pittsburgh, whilst all my free-time appeared to be spent saving myself for my next performance on screen. No jacking-off for me! For cum was the very fuel to my ambition, and any filming schedule was approached with almost monkish abstinence. After all, my next pay-cheque depended on it.
Meantime, the name of Luke Meyer gained notoriety. Never more so than when Vicar decided that it was time to make me a megastar. To take me and eleven other guys from the BellaDonna stable (most of whom had probably fucked me in their time) to Key West, to film a bareback feature by the name of Cum Bucks.
By now, whatever reservations I might have once had were long since forgotten. Besides, I was not only going to be the cover-star for the flick and given opportunity to top, but was also being rewarded with a significant increase in pay for acting au natural. As a result, I arrived in Florida with excitement in my belly and more than enough spunk in my balls. Well let's face it, to have arrived with anything less would've been almost disrespectful!
As always, I didn't tell my folks where I was going or what I was doing - somehow I got the feeling they wouldn't have approved of my choice in career! Still, I was a big boy now and the money I was getting more than compensated for the tiring nature of the trade.
For let's be honest now, Vicar was a tough taskmaster. As I had discovered, he sure as fuck didn't like slackers and expected everyone on set to give their very best. He had little time for those who couldn't get hard or who needed fluffers. Less still for those who couldn't spunk a thick, heavy load at will. Which suited me just fine, given that was pretty much one of my party pieces.
Indeed, it was such propensity I'm sure that gave me the reward of Shay Bamber, a newcomer to the set, whose ass I was set to fill on the side of an open-air pool. He was a pretty twink, with jet black hair, green eyes and a lean, handsome frame, but you could tell he was nervous from the very first moment we stepped on set.
'Hey, you gonna be alright,' I assured him, remembering my own first time.
He glanced across and smiled. 'They tell me you're big,' he remarked.
I grinned. 'Yep,' I confirmed. 'But just think of the money you'll get!'
'Yeah,' he smiled. 'I've got my eye on a Ferrari. Think I might just be able to put down a deposit after this.'
'Well, you just think of that Ferrari whilst I'm pummelling your sweet young butt!'
Did he think about it? I have no idea. But you can take it from me that I thought about little else as we filmed that scene together. Fuck, just to think that he was parting his legs and allowing me to slip my naked cock up his man-cunt in exchange for a deposit on a car was enough to get me feeling hotter than I had ever felt in my life. For the sense of power it gave was like a rampant aphrodisiac, my cock straining at the leash as I was finally given permission to thrust into the untouched den inside.
Poor thing yelped as I first slammed home, my hairy balls slapping against him with a heavy thud. But I noted Vicar's smile and knew it would only add to the value of the flick. As a result, I continued my pounding. Whilst young Shay grasped onto the lounge beneath him for dear life, taking care not to knock the cameras that were recording our horny union.
All in all, I had my cock inside him for the best part of three hours that day, thanks to the director's constant interruptions, so I sure as hell think we earned our money. Not that the bottom fulfilled his part of the bargain. Fazed by the occasion, he couldn't cum, resulting in a standby providing the money shot and taking half of the youngster's pay. It was a hard lesson, but perhaps a fair one, and, as Vicar pointed out, would help concentrate his mind on his performance next time. As for me - well, I squirted the holy nectar all over the youngster's back, so that it literally dribbled off him and onto the camera beneath. Not exactly what was on the script, admittedly, but the director for one was not gonna complain.
It's cruel I know, but I couldn't help putting my own deposit on the youngster's car the next day. Offering him a ride in it to the airport, and taking opportunity to emphasise just how cool it felt to drive.
Then I finally pulled up by the sidewalk and turned to face him.
'You know what's the only difference between a movie star and a porn star?' I asked.
He shook his head, with a naive grin.
'Well, both suck cock to make it big. But one's more honest about it than the other.'
And with that I handed him the keys. 'You deserve it for your honesty,' I smiled.
His face beamed in delight. 'I dunno what to say,' he gasped.
'Just promise you won't jerk off just hours before filming next time,' I noted.
He blushed knowingly.
'You know it's not everyone who gets paid to get fucked,' I reminded him. 'This can be a great job, so don't blow it! Next time, save yourself for the camera.'
With that we parted.
I wasn't sure whether he'd take my words to heart. But I for one was sure of my own destiny. True, it had its downside, but being a grossly overpaid hooker beat a dead-end blue-collar job any day.
And next time you feel tempted to mock my sort, don't you forget it.