Paul was finishing his shower when Jason walked into the bathroom. John would be arriving within minutes. Jason manner was very grave. Paul toweled off and stood in front of Jason. Paul waited for Jason to talk to him. His beautiful grey eyes watching Jason's and just waiting.
Jason stood there pensively. Jason looked at Paul. He knew he need to tell him the truth.
"Paul, you know I'm a pretty sick fuck. And now you know that I love you desperately. In my mind that gives you a lot of power over me. That makes me angry. I can't explain why, it just does." Jason blurted, "Paul, I'm afraid I could hurt you."
Paul face registered alarm and confusion.
Jason closed his eyes and rubbed his face with emotion.
Jason continued, "Paul when I feel overwhelming feelings for you, I feel out of control. I get irrational and angry and I fantasize about doing things."
"Being with you just now in the hall, it was incredible, but it was overwhelming to me."
Devastated and with tears in his eyes, Paul asked, "Do you want me to leave?"
"No. I want to scene with you. I need my control back. John is going to come to keep me in check and to insure your safety."
Paul fell down on his knees and looked up at Jason.
"Please Jason, I can take it. Don't bring him in. I will do anything, no limits."
Jason' body immediately responded to Paul falling on his knees and his offer to give up all limits. He felt much better with Paul on his knees and in a submissive frame of mind. Jason was raging hard again now looking down at Paul. This is what he needed. More of this.
Jason asked, "Paul, tell me what you want to change in our agreement?"
Paul grey eyes were trained on Jason's face. Paul rushed to answer, "Please Jason. I only wanted to make a rule that if we are monogamous we can stop using condoms. I really enjoyed this afternoon."
Paul paused looking into Jason's eyes, "But if your going to do the public stuff or have sex with other people, I want to continue to practice safe sex."
Paul added, "But I really liked today, without the condom. Actually all of today. In the bus, that was really hot, ...and then here afterward."
Paul's beautiful translucent eyes stayed beseechingly on Jason's face.
Jason continued to look down on Paul's sweet earnest face.Jason would have automatically made that rule without Paul having to ask. Jason cursed himself for not properly controlling the relationship and discussing boundaries up front with Paul.
Jason loved Paul. But god help him, he felt a overwhelming urge to fuck and beat Paul senseless.
They heard John enter the apartment.
Jason announced, "John is staying the night and that's final. You will be polite and obedient."
"Playroom, ten minutes."
John entered the bathroom and looked down at Paul on his knees and back up at the intense look on Jason's face.
John intended to take immediate control of the situation. He was thankful that Jason had the sense enough to call him. John spoke to Paul, "I want you to finish your preparations here, Paul. And wait for us in the playroom."
John signaled for Jason to follow him and headed for the living room. Once in the living room, John asked Jason pointedly, "What do you to walk away with tonight Jason?"
Jason did not understand.
"Jason, your in love with him. And your pissed about it. You feel out of control and now your in fuck and punish mode. I get that. Do you have an endgame here? Do you want to fuck the relationship up and end it? Do you want to punish him tonight, but keep him as your lover? What do you want Jason?"
Jason answered emotionally, "I could not bear to be without him, for even one night. I will never let him spend the night away from me again!"
John thought Jason sounded like schoolboy. This situation could become explosive. He asked Jason again, "What do you want to happen after this scene tonight, Jason?"
Jason thought about John's question and said passionately. "I need unconditionally submission. No limits. I don't feel that from him yet. Now he has this fucking power over me. John, he fucking owns me, because i love him."
Jason and John heard a sound behind them from the hall. They turned to see Paul on his knees, with tears running down his face, looking at Jason. Both John and Jason responded in tandem and knelt to comfort Paul. Jason kissed Paul's face and John rubbed his back.
Paul cried, "Please Jason. I don't understand." John answered for Jason because he understood the answer better than Jason did.
John explained, "For Jason to feel comfortable going forward in this relationship, he wants to have an agreement with you that includes no limits or boundaries. He wants complete submission. Only under those circumstances can he feel safe enough to enjoy the unconditional love he feels for you, Paul."
Paul's grey eyes were so beautiful, so translucent, and now so full of pain. They were locked onto Jason's brown eyes.
Paul whispered "I'll do anything for you Jason."