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gaydemon > stories > a hot fantasy > comments

Comments by people who read the story a hot fantasy .

Mark | 24 Nov 2011

I'm sorry, but while punctuation might not be important for you, it is for the rest of us. That's for starters. You might also want to consider how you construct sentences, to make it easier for the reader to follow what you're trying to say.

I don't wish to come across as just being critical, but it might help you improve in the future.

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