ranzie | 10 Oct 2011

ranziec39@aim.com I'm gonna tell you straight up. Good story. interesting flow of events, use use word processor and spell check, copy and paste to submit. KEEP WRITING and e mail me when you submit, I would like to see how your skills develope. I am not really a writer but I have a few on here. I am a massage therapist with too many clients and not enough time so be patient and I will help you out.

alexander | 15 Feb 2010

Agree with Steve. Good story, atrocious spelling (= understatement of the month).

dj | 02 Feb 2010

that was good hope u write more

Steve | 02 Feb 2010

good story, but your spelling is atrocious. Use your spellchecker.

Anonymous | 01 Feb 2010

Awesome job, keep writing! Continue this story, I want more

jbrew | 01 Feb 2010

Pretty good story. There were a lot of spelling and punctuation errors, though. Maybe try using a spell checker, Microsoft word, etc.

Kpaul | 01 Feb 2010

nice story man, great beginning, just do yourself a favor, and as everyone use to tell me, watch the spelling, I got a dictionary so I would be able to do it correctly, still sometimes have problems, and by doing so, you will please some readers who always seemed to let you know about it, well at least they did me, LOL! but all in all the story was hot, has a great foundation for more chapters, and I loved it personally, thanks and lets have more.