Is your stress level maxed out? Do you try everything to lower it, like television, jogging and pancakes, and more pancakes, but nothing works?
Instead, try new Stare at Guy's Bulge While His Eyes Are Closed! It's the newest product in the Jack-a-Lot family of products. Don't let this picture confuse you. The solution is not some yoga meditation centering breathing visualization thing. Why be stuck with mere visualization when a crotch like his can stare you in the face?
Side effects may include rapid heart rate, swelling in the groin, salivation and the curious stares (and potential arousal or disapproval) of onlookers. After all, it's called Stare at Guy's Bulge While His Eyes Are Closed!, not Stare at Guy's Bulge While Everyone Else's Eyes Are Closed!
And if he opens his eyes at any point, don't worry. You won't notice because you'll be staring at his crotch.