2016 president

He's very connected to both the beer and cucumber lobbies. And when you have beer and cucumber money behind you (and in you), your ascent to power is guaranteed. Now I know you're already all about Hillary Clinton and hopefully not all about Chris Christie. But none of that matters because this guy is the next inhabitant of the White House. And he'll have all sorts of seedy visitors, like his bitch wife, Boy George, George Michael and Michael Lohan.

It's time for an allegedly high alleged hustler non-alleged cucumber and beer smuggler to lead us all into our glorious future where pornography is a right and bedspreads don't last long before they are utterly ruined which is why the rule of the land will be ugly bedspreads because they will be ruined anyway. As for regulating Wall Street and banks, he may be otherwise occupied so don't count on it.

And what's his name? Mr. President. But say it while moaning if you're trying to pronounce it correctly.


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