Guy soccer (aka guy football) is this game where guys with big bulges run their bulges all around a big yard with lines on it and big nets on either side. People scream for the bulges and whichever team gets louder screams for their bulges gets to move on in the competition. Until one day, a whole team of bulges wins the championship. These players aren't allowed to touch the soccer ball (aka football ball) with their hands because hands are for bulges and for answering sext messages.
I read a stupid article on Slate which I'm not linking to which was about how it's okay to objectify these guys' bulges. And they threw in that it's okay to objectify their butts too. Thanks so much for the permission! So that also applies to you, dear reader. You can now look at the pictures in this post and objectify guys. I know you were waiting for permission from Slate.
Does every player wear a sturdy jock or do some wear less and therefore megabounce their parts on purpose? Makes me want to stick a camera to their chests and point it down. That would be lovely. I could imagine some of these fellas might break the camera lens with all that bouncing. Who's for the FIFA 2018 Naked World Cup? Well the first half of the tournament would be clothed but the further the team advances in the brackets the less clothes they wear. Until the final game where it's nude, nude, nude and nude. And also naked. No shoes either. And the ball is replaced by lube. And the referees hand out yellow cards and red cards for peeing and tongue kissing. Best. Sport. Ever.
P.S. I just found an even bigger soccer bulge. Check it out after the jump!
Sorry! I couldn't resist. But he's still cute, yeah?