There's a lot of guys competing for the title, hundreds of thousands every second of this world. As the judge of this genuinely real actually true competition, there are a lot of factors I need to consider.
- Does the cum/orgasm face show abandon or appear posed?
- Does the head look like it's about to launch off the neck into the red light district of outer space?
- Does the guy look like he's about to sneeze, laugh, cry or all three?
- Is he conceivably thinking about me?
- If we went backward in evolution, would a Nearderthal recognize what was happening just from the face? Primal equals good.
- If we went backward in time, could we make Demi Lovato's mom have twin Demis instead? With Demi's powerful, heartfelt vocals, intense back story and dead gay grandpa, she's a baby icon and I want to make sure we have a spare her.
- What was I talking about? Oh yeah, final factor is the guy being damn handsome.
Winner? The oh so very handsome guy three rows down. He's in his own world, imploding, exploding, dreaming, living, feeling. Orgasming.
Oh wait, this just in. He's actually rocking out a guitar solo. Disqualified! How dare he. Now I'm too emotional to pick another winner.
P.S. The Face of Cum bonus action.