While there are lots of cultural differences, and nuances, sometimes you just need to lean back and laugh at some of the names or terms used to describe a body part. I mean come on, tell me you haven't sometimes wondered what another was talking about when they said they had some 'beef in the can' or some other phrase that just well, didn't seem appropriate for what you were talking about?

Just who comes up with these terms for things like a penis? When did we start calling it 'salami' or 'dipstick'? I mean I know that salami is a meat product, which okay, a dick is meat too. However salami is usually a mixture of other things too, not just pure meat, so what, when you are talking about your dick, it is somehow not all yours? Or is it because a dick is also made up of tissue, blood, nerves, and stuff, that makes it like a salami, or is it simply because it is tubular, and sticks out?

But then, if it is soft, it sure doesn't resemble any stick of Salami I ever saw at the local deli.

Now a dipstick, well it checks the oil levels, so what, when you stick your dick into a nice firm ass, you gonna know what their blood level is at? Or you going to know how much water is being retained? I THINK NOT.

Then too, a dipstick can also mean some moron, or less than intelligent person. So what, your dick is a total idiot? I mean it can feel, it can sense the other persons reactions, and that isn't what I'd call being stupid. So why is a dick also called a dipstick?

I get it, that in normal conversation, code sometimes is used to convey an alternative message, so that those around don't all know your perverted thoughts, but uh, how in hell are we supposed to know that? Like if you are talking to me, to try and tell me you didn't get anything last night, but don't want the nosy parker standing with us to know, how am I supposed to divine that from some secret phrase like the bonfire never happened? Seriously, bonfire for a penis? I am supposed to guess that means his dick didn't get to fuck someone?

Then there is the whole, name your penis, that sort of well, is really odd. Like it is my penis, why would it call it Little Harry or Little Willy? Course too, many who do call their dicks by attaching their own first name, with the prefix 'little' also seem to always add to the conversation, 'well he isn't all that little' so why not call it Big Willy or Big Harry? What is with the 'little' then the disclaimer afterwards?

I mean I can see how old guys sometimes don't get enough sex, and it isn't because they can't do the job either. It is that they miss the inferences being tossed at them, like 'care to meet little peter later' sounds like someone is inviting you to meet a friend of theirs. When the truth is, they are asking if you want to get fucked. Like how am I supposed to know 'Little Peter' is their pet name for their penis?

Back when I was a teenager, I remember my best friend bursting into our kitchen, telling me that Little Doug hit a homerun last night, and my mother looking up at him, and asking him, 'wasn't it hard to play baseball in a snow storm? Man talk about watching a face turn bright red, as he tried to stammer out some stupid reply, that only had her looking at him even more weird.

Then too I remember being asked by a friend after a date if I had gotten lucky? Now, I don't know, but luck and sex, just seems unlikely. Is it luck that determines if you have sex, or is it the attraction between two people? Now luck would be walking down the street, and some sexy stud from Bel Ami popping out asking if I'd like to get blown by him. Now that would be luck, be a miracle too, but hey, my little guy is ready if he is, though it really isn't that little.


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