Many have complained how e-books destroy the brick and mortar bookselling business, specifically independent book stores. But nobody has called attention to the impact of Kindles and other e-readers on penis bookmarks. Luckily, there's a change.org petition (whoops, I forgot to link to it because it's not real) in which the public begs the other part of the public to start a Kickstarter to bring back physical books so people can use their penises as bookmarks.
Also, did you know that trash novelist (and leopard print enthusiast) Jackie Collins is a board member of Penis Bookmark, Inc. and the first item on the board meeting agenda is how to develop an ink that precum won't smudge? Well now you know that. Facts are wonderful.