Fuck 1,000 thread count. Fuck imported from Madagascar. Fuck washability. (Well, okay, washability would be critically important in this situation!) Still, the correct way to advertise bedding is with cock. Heavy cock. Thick cock. Ready to wake up cock. Also, mark it 50% off. I love that.
How do I know this is the right way to advertise? Because I otherwise hate this color combination, yet now need it in my life. Don't you adore a guy who knows how to color coordinate fabrics with his penis head? It's a gift.