No, I don't mean Mystique's daddy, as in Mystique from the X-Men universe. That would be some blue mutant guy who can shape shift, assuming he has the same powers as his lovely blue daughter. I mean daddies, as in gay daddies, as in older guys with that certain something, totally in the eye of whomever is looking.

There are muscle daddies, sugar daddies, bottom daddies, grand daddies, daddy bears, ftm daddies, and daddy long legs. Okay, that last one is a spider, not a gay archetype. Although next time you see a tall daddy with thin legs who walks sideways and/or on walls and hangs out in your garage and/or bathroom sink, call that man a daddy long legs for fuck's sake!

For me, daddy has power because it calls up intimacy and difference, and on some level, a sexual admiration for men of a certain age, generally a positive thing (as long as, in my opinion, people see beyond the archetype to the individual at least sometimes). Of course, that age which defines a daddy is totally up in the air. Is a 35 year old a potential daddy? He is if he's got the look, demeanor and barely legal arm candy. Or a briefcase, some gray hair (minimum of three), and a pair of golf shoes.

But what if I say sissy daddy? Is that an archetype for the gays? Not that I've heard of but maybe it can be. Or does that make some of us uncomfortable? I think with daddy, there's a big connection to masculinity. Not a surprise. But so too there are effete daddies. Daddies who will take you to the opera. Daddies who play super butch sports like badminton, bocce ball and knitting. Yes, knitting is a sport (and one some uptight daddies who clench their jaws too hard should take up to relax). There are also white collar daddies who never get scruffy and daddies who don't give a damn about how they come off. They just are.

And that's what I'm drawn to, daddies that just are. They don't even need the word daddy to surround them. They don't need to take over your life. They want you to be your own person. They're confident in themselves right back. So when I think of the fascination with daddies, to me it's not the opposite of twink love as it's about more than age. At first it's a way to draw up a mystique around someone, a way for that man to draw you in, whether purely sexually or also emotionally, spiritually, or as a friend.

But if/when you get to know him, he can become more than that daddy in your mind, more than a symbol or fantasy. He may wear that label with pride, play with it, and with you, get kinky with it, but you both know, he's him. He has a name besides daddy. And that name is, drum roll, "Daddy Mike" with a capital D and capital M dammit and don't you forget it! Now do the dishes, take out the trash, vacuum the living room, and suck his cock like a vacuum. He's your daddy after all. And you're a daddy's boy or whatever you want to call yourself. Daddy's boy is fucking cute though. Or maybe you're a daddy reading this. In your spectacles and boxers, lounging in bed, on the hunt. Call me!

Now can someone explain to me the "Daddies Need Daddies Too" button I saw many years ago? Because all I can think it means is that's a good name for a sitcom. A naked sitcom.

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