Bask in this man's glory. Then back off because I want him, and like, probably maybe, he wants me maybe, like if he could see me or, like, if he's still alive or whatever or goes to my grocery store or wherever or stuff where our lives would intersect sometime or often. My point is, I want him. From his overpriced glasses to his underpriced tie. From his seductively tacky tan line to his tackily seductive bedding. From his giant 401k to his small dick. From his dainty smirk to his smirking taint. He's. All. Mine.

Public Service Announcement: Is there someone not in your life yet but who you think / know / feel / believe / hypothesize should be all yours? Then say hello. For fucks sake, say hello. I'm serious. Say hello. Have I mentioned you should say hello. And ask him about himself. And say you think he looks good. And laugh if he makes you laugh. And suck his cock if you want to suck his cock and he wants you to suck his cock or just sit across from him jacking off if that's what you want to do instead and tell him that too. And be yourself. Because you can be with someone who you want to be with and who wants to be with you. Accept nothing less. And you may end up with the man of your "naked man except for a glasses and a tie" dreams. Only downside is he's going to make you pay to dry clean that tie after what happens to it. On an unrelated note, ties make interesting, though inefficient, cock rings, but better handcuffs. Yay ties!

best man ever

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