It's hard to identify just what part of the human psyche is satisfied by having an awards ceremony devoted to hookers. But, alas, we human beings are complicated things, are we not? And none more intricately assembled than the porn-watching, sex-of-all-kinds-and-with-every-orifice-available-at-the-time gay male.

He, and he alone, has inspired a veritable cornucopia of sex and sex-related awards shows that could incinerate the imaginations of mere mortals and ironically has with each passing year

And yet, like clockwork, taxes or CNN television personality Nancy Grace, there are some things that- save death - know no end. Rafeal Alencar RentboyAnd the 2011 Hookies - sponsored by the popular website (making you happy one hour at a time) - is the latest in a long tradition of awards recognizing something that almost no one else thought to recognize up until then.

This year's top honor? Mr. Rafael Alencar took top honors as "Mr. International Escort 2011." (That means he'll fuck you from Santiago, up through Eritrea, and on to Beijing, with stops in Dayton and Dusseldorf.) Other, um, winners include Logan Stevens as 'Best Newcomer,' Alessio Romero for 'Best Tattoos' (You know, just because), Theo, who won for 'Best Top' but for whom a 'Best Bottom' does not exist since there is no 'Best Bottom' award yet at the Hookies. (Oh, and some black guy named Kevin won for 'Best Body' because, you know, having an all-white awards show is just so 2010.)

Of course, unless something outlandish happens - a star-slash-director-slash-personality runs on stage and screams: "You're all a bunch of vacuous whores!" - these things are pretty predictable affairs. Luckily, Michael Musto of the Village Voice was there and came away with this gem:

"But the real highlight happened in the pre-show festivities, when porn director Mr. Pam found an audience member who liked to drink pee and promptly brought the guy onstage to go for the gold."

I don't know. Asking for a moment of silence for the Japanese at an awards show - which is what apparently happened - from guys who get paid - if need be - to wear Kilts certainly vies in my book for wackiest Gay Porn thing ever. But then again this isn't Sweden and these aren't the Nobles.

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