Summer's winding down (in the Northern Hemisphere anyhow) so it's time for a summer fashion review. Lots of trends to inspire your next job intervew! Such as (starting top left):
- Be a slinky, sexy Canadian Mountie. Sure to get you that job as an elementary school crossing guard. Or actual Canadian Mountie.
- Wear enough metal that you can double as a wifi router. The IT department will love you.
- Running shoes are a risky choice for an interview but nudity from the shoes up is a winner. You're sure to get that job as a barista at an anarchist co-operative coffee shop. It helps that they don't give a fuck about health codes.
- Hooker heels are not just for hookers anymore. They're also for hookers who wear socks.
- Add beads to any outfit. Seattle Pride Parade Celebrity Grand Marshall George Takei gussied up this cop during this year's parade. It's nice to keep cops otherwise occupied too. Kill 'em with kindness, as they say, which works in job interviews too.
- The fella in the red shorts is interning as an alien dick carrier. Next up: a full-time position as Anna Wintour's alien dick carrier.
- Rabbit tails come up the front now. It's good to stand out as unique in a job interview. But still qualified of course. Uniquely qualified. Plus this way you can take a shit and not get your tail dirty. Why didn't real bunnies think of that?
- The last outfit is more a reminder of what not to do. Don't wear wings unless they work. Stilts put you a couple feet higher up, not hundreds of feet up due to an ability to fly. Meaning don't exaggerate your qualifications. Even if it gets you the job, what do you do when you start? Walk around in stilts? So enough with the wings unless you were born with working ones.
Sure, another trend was that thing where guys don't wear pants but do wear a bandana on one bare hip, wrapped around the cock and leg, while the other hip and leg remain bare. I think it's a look that only works for the desperate and insane, both things that inspire many wonderful fashions.
So what does fall have in store as far as fashions? Hopefully complete, shivering nudity.