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It's called breaking the fourth wall. Or in sex app language, breaking the fourth gloryhole on the right. Because one thing apps that require typing to hook up will reveal are some stupid fucking people. And when a stupid fucking person tries to waste your time, the best thing to do is have fun with them and make it into a moment.

Now making fun of guys who are in hook-up mode, specifically desperate and illiterate hook-up mode, is almost too easy. And that's because the one on the other end seems to have left his sense of humor at the door. Which is why my favorite of the one above is the tent zipper. Taking a tacky sexual analogy and making it literal is genius. Not Nobel Prize genius. More Nobl Prz genius. It's like the Nobel Prize, but with fewer vowels and substantially less prestige.

Ironically, it makes me want to get to know the one who came up with that tent zipper twist. Did he have literal sexual jpgs at the ready? Did "Show me your hole" get a pic of someone planting tulip bulbs? Did "Show me your pole" get a pic of the polling numbers of the Florida Governor's race? Did "Fuck my ass now" get the guy to fuck the bottom's ass now? (Because we don't know if some of these convos continued, do we?) If so, I'll have to remember to try that "fuck my ass now" line, like at the grocery store in the 10 cocks or less line.

The understated genius award goes to the non-response one. It's amazing how long someone can go in a one-sided conversation. IMs can sure keep a record of the self-immolating crazy. Send!

You may not get off from verbally toying with Grindr dudes, but you'll get your lulz. Now that "crippling loneliness one" doesn't have the standard Grindr look so I think it's a cartoon. Get that cartoonist to the New York Times editorial page. He could do some hard-hitting political cartoons about gay hookup apps. And loneliness.

Lulz 2 ur hartz contentz @ Grindr Stories, Oh Grindr & Adventures in Gay.


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