Something for the Weekend: Straight Friend Reads Grindr

Let's watch a clueless but kind straight guy Grindr himself into a corner. It's just illogical stuff and here's why.

He thinks the guys on Grindr are forward. I say these ones they picked are soft of sexually forward as far as IM but they are on an app, not exactly walking up to a person on the street and saying those same things. That's more hiding than forward.

Then he acts, or worse is, shocked by use of naughty words like cock and suck and, gasp, nips. I'm shocked he's shocked. Because he has or has been involved in all three, including being on top or bottom (at least physically).

Also shocking. The gay guy doesn't know what an otter is. Clearly, it's an otter, the animal that does stuff like crack open mussels with a rock. While drinking crap beer at a gay bar. And otters are hairy and skinny or whatever.

Is this shocking?

How about some actually shocking Grindr messages, like "You look very handsome and I really like your profile. Looks like we have some shared interests! How's your night going?"

Oh right, that kind of message never works. Also not shocking.

What bugs me the most is the gay guy is either acting embarrassed or is embarrassed. I guess that passes for cute but who cares?

The straight guy does sort of get one thing when he says he doesn't even get why sending a picture of your dick is a thing. Out of context dick is sort of insane when you think about it. Grindr purports to be the context, but I'm not buying it. It's still just people interacting. It's like saying anything that happens on a phone call is a phone call thing.

Like straight guys listen in on gay guy phone calls. Gasp!

Now why didn't the gay guy use his friend's picture and other details? Then maybe he would have been more genuinely shocked when he knew the flirts (or rejections) were for him. Oh, they don't get any rejections. That's right. What a lovely world for them.


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