Does Timothy have an elephant?

We’ll never know because he only gets as far as stripping to his underwear, still not everyday activity for a dreamy, sensitive actor hunk on a talk show. I really haven’t tracked his career. I knew him from semi-watchable  gay flick Broken Hearts Club, in which he was better than the material.

And here is is again, better than the material (of his underwear).

Loving the rebuttoning linger situation. Love. Oh yeah, spoiler alert for the punchline of this, but whatever.

It’s like my checkboxes of sexy and smart and funny and he’s check check check.

Hilariously, people often feel they aren’t going too far when they don’t fully get naked. But since I’m into a guy in tight underwear, I’ve already won. We’ve all won. Thank you, Timothy. All those other movies and TV shows and plays you've done (which I have no idea about) are nothing compared to your surprise.

He needs to be nominated for best perfjoamcne in a variety show. Or his ass does. If I were a member of the Academy of Asses in Motion, I would totally vote for him. Twice.

Looking back at Broken Hearts Club though, it also had Justin Theroux in a minor role. But he’s taken. Plus you know Timothy is straight because gay leading roles (in actual movies) rarely go to a gay actor. It’s only straight people that know how to lisp correctly. And have their wrists just the right amount of limp.

And Timothy sure has it right in terms of not really trying to show super bulge detail. All black underwear does the trick. Now what’s the trick to make an alternate reality in which he does me, his trick? Call me, Timothy. Or at least send me a penis emoji.

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