So this low budget and somehow viral ad is a parody of a meme I'd never heard of started by a local North Carolina ad "Black & White People Furniture" (watch it but come back). Yeah, that one's stupid too. Furniture has never stopped people from getting along. In fact, how else can you be in the same room with someone you hate unless you sit on opposite sides of a long, comfy couch, thereby creating the false feeling of comfort when really you just want to run screaming.

So this Robert Dyas ad (apparently it's some kitchen/hardware/general store) has people saying their sexual orientations and that they work there or shop there. As if a salad spinner only works for gay people or a hammer only works for straight people.

Everyone knows hammers only work for lesbians.

Of course they know this, so it does make it clear that the popularity of this ad (to which I'm inadvertently adding) is because it's ridiculous to state otherwise. However, it's not so ridiculous to state that some companies don't take too kindly to openly non-straight employees or even openly non-straight shoppers. Though I don't think Taco Bell has a problem with drag queens buying tacos at 3 a.m. Thought McDonald's does. Because they don't sell tacos.

So gay or straight, buy nothing from Robert Dyas because they fail to talk about the most important gay thing in their store: the bathroom. I want to see the employees sucking off customers. Because that's a great way to earn a real living. Getting paid for your regular job while turning a trick in the men's room. I think that's why rich people are so rich. That's only reason. 

Now let's all hope this ad doesn't spawn additional memes. Besides, I find it vaguely stereotypical around bisexuals with her saying she can always find something she wants there. Like she's fuck anything. I mean buy anything. Like she can't fall in love with just one person. I mean vacuum cleaner. Or whatever they sell. 

Now what kind of sex is this Robert Dyas guy into? It is not revealed and I will never know but I'm guessing it involves yawning while zesting a lemon.

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