Teen Vogue can teach us so much. Like how to base you self-esteem on your body, clothes and makeup. In this case it brought in two actual gay guys to teach you the 8 things you should never say to your gay friends. Although some of them sound more like things you should never say to gay strangers. And of course the whole thing seems more directed to teenage girls but I think grown ups can learn from it too. 

They seem to have left out the "eat my pussy" thing. Probably don't say that to your gay friends. Except as some sort of fun fuck you.

And no, not everyone who visits GayDemon is a gay guy, okay? Some lesbians dig gay porn and maybe there are some 18 year old straight girls on here too. They are everywhere nowadays! So some of this may be news. But to be equal opportunity and have something for the actual gay guys who already know this stuff (besides just ideas on boundaries to draw with people who say stupid stuff to you), I'll share the 8 things you should never say to your straight friends.

If you don't have straight friends, just imagine you do for a minute. And don't say these things, or you may lose those friends (and imagine that matters to you):

  1. "I can't believe you still think Tom Cruise is awesome."
  2. "I hate the sin of you being straight, but I love you as a person. So suck my dick."
  3. "How do you know you're straight?"
  4. "The Bachelor is reprehensible television." (Actually everyone may be in agreement on that one.)
  5. "Can you be my aesthetically-challenged, culture-less friend?"
  6. "Ha! Pleated pants are still a thing?"
  7. "What's it like to not get kicked out of your house as a teenager?"
  8. "It's great you can be so confident as to just let yourself go like you have, in every aspect of your life. Low self-esteem caused by institutionalized heterophobia will do that, huh?"

I'm ready to film this Teen Vogue. Call me.

P.S. "Heterophobia" is triggering spellcheck. Because it's not a thing!


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