Did our LGBT ancestors fight the power just so this one gay male would live a life of sexual repression? Has Adam Lambert being the first openly gay male to reach number one on the Billboard Top Albums Chart had no impact on the freedom of this gay male's mouth, anus and penis?

Have dildo manufacturers' targeted marketing of their wares to gay men's greedy holes been for naught? Have random men of indeterminate sexual orientation unzipped in the public toi-toi (that's Hawaiian for toilet) this gay male inhabits only to have their dicks remain tragically unsucked?

Perhaps someone can invent a medicine to unrepress this pitiful, non-sordid gay male. One butterscotch Lifesaver candy ought to do it. Or just oxygen.

This reminds me: sex is good. It would be nice if this one particular gay male understood that and could experience and give at least a little bit of pleasure.

sexually repressed gay male

Photos courtesy of A Bearded Boy.

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