penis pumping

Dyson just came out with an insanely expensive robot vaccum cleaner. When wlll break into the dick pumping business? Dick pumps that never lose suction and do double duty by picking up everything you may have spilled on your groin, such as dirt, coffee grounds and raw macaroni. You can't afford not to buy!

For every one who grew up wondering what is would be like to stick their dick in the vacuum cleaner, scientific surveys have shown that 1 out of 347 of those people grew up to be dick pumpers. Surprisingly the folks performing the surveys door to door did not get doors slammed in their faces. As you may have noticed, people love to talk about dick.

Now there are gradations of dick pumping. From the quick pump before that special date with alleged size queen Zachary Quinto to the years-long pumps that turn a cock into a Popeet. Some folks are more about the visual and give exactly zero fucks that their cock doesn't precisely feel like a cock anymore (more like a cock wrapped in sponges). And some want to feel the suction but not really alter their dick much if at all.

If you're going to try it, do it as safely as possible. Avoid overpumping and be aware of any risks. Definitely talk to your doctor about it. If he's a guy. And you think talking to him about dick pumping will make him want to come over your house and dick pump with you. Otherwise, just ask folks at sex toy shops. The older the better so they know what they're talking about.

Am I personally into it? Nah. Have I felt and sucked a pumped cock? Well yeah, duh, I mean how the hell could I have sucked it without feeling it? Hello! Ahhh, the '90s.

Ball pumping and rosebud pumping are things too. I'll reserve my opinion on those because #1 nobody is asking and #2 I'm sure those will be main topics in the 2016 Presidential Debates.

By the way, not every big cock has been pumped. But they sure as fuck can do some pumping.

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