Public Exposure: Beach Party Penis

If those Beach Blanket Bingo movies of the 60s had continued into their softcore future, here are some potential stars. Now being nude on a nude beach isn't exactly radical. But going to a nude beach knowing you may be snapped, or willingly posing, is true exhibitionist behavior.

I'd applaud but my hands are full of sunscreen. I mean lube. SPF 30. As in Stroking Penis Fully.

Now let's marvel at the panoply of bubble butts and bubble penises. What the fuck is a bubble penis? All blown up and ready to pop.

I think the guy with the big, upturned cock alone on the little sand dune is my husband. He appears to be looking for me as well. If only he had a place to carry his cell phone.

I've never been to a nude beach but I figure if actual swimming is involved it would help to go with a group, so someone can watch the actual stuff because you don't want to be nude in the ocean, then come back to land to find nothing left of your belongings. Because being helpless and naked around other naked men would be horrible.

Or wonderful. I think I'll go to a nude beach alone now. Or in six months anyhow. That should give me plenty of time to write my number on my ass.