Male strippers are fucking ridiculous. Tremendously so. Now let me get out my dollars and shove them in their g-strings. Tipping the ridiculous is a radical cultural act. It's a statement that I want more bouncing bulges. I want more shiny chests and razor sharp abs and flexing, humping asses. I want to feel like I have my own own wind-up muscle doll.

I also want the almost entirely female audiences to totally not be there. But then that's part of the charm as it's their chance to objectify guys. And, let's face it, objectifying guys is a worthwhile pastime. Don't you agree? Plus it often makes them more interesting than they really are. Sometimes sticking with the fantasy is better than reality (even the well-worn stripper fantasies of cop, fireman, construction worker, football player, cowboy, nerdy English teacher with a tweed jacket that has elbow patches, skinny twinky American Apparel retail clerk who would do anything to earn money on the side to make ends meet, door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman).

Okay maybe those last few are just my fantasies. I mean, I want a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman to demonstrate his product by creating obscene stains on my carpet then getting them out or making me get them out.

As for objectifying men, it's not just for the ladies anymore! That's right, you may not believe it, but guys look at guys. Including their crotches! Breaking news to you I'm sure. So let's ogle these vids. And then take a shower after to try and wash away the bizarre combination of sexiness and foolishness. I will admit one newly sprung interest from these. Male stripper dressing room attendant. I want their sweaty thongs. Want. Want. Want. Um, it's for an art project? I'm not going to jack off with them or anything. I'm classy.

Just like all the hot dancers at Stockbar (our top reviewed stripper site where live cameras show you the main stage plus the magic backstage where guys stroke before and after hitting the stage). Gotta look just right for your public!

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