It's time to work out your ass! By which I mean watch guys work out their asses while you work out your cock. It's kind of the same thing. I mean, doesn't your ass sort of clench when you ejaculate? Mine does! Whether a dick's in it or not.

First up is an earnest guy who inadvertently flashes his shorts liner in this oh-so-helpful guide to working out your ass at home. Remember, form is incredibly important. So make sure to keep proper form while you jerk off to his easygoing hotness.

This next dude's name is Bri, as in "Ripped Bri" as in "Ripped Bri Wears Short Tights and Shows Every Muscle and Bulge for Your Masturbatory Pleasure" (not the name of the video but it may as well be). Isn't it fun how he actually takes the time to impart genuine exercise tips? How cute!

Remember to check with your health care provider or certified personal trainer before starting any exercise program. Also check with them before starting any masturbation program. Hopefully they'll have excellent, personalized advice to impart.

Seriously, "Bri", you need to call me. I want to come over and watch your glutes flex. Over and over.

Volume alert on the next one, as in turn it down. While not as literal an ass workout as the other two vids, the video is titled "Worlds Finest Ass ft Captain. Fine Ass" so I had to include it. He's a Captain. He outranks me. Besides, he does a few moves that sort of involve flexing. Really it's one of the best demos of bodybuilder narcissism I've seen. He's so fixated on his own image the whole time.

But he's magnanimous. After all, he posted the video, because he wants others to have the same opportunity to fixate on his image. But don't you dare call yourself Captain Fine Ass. Maybe Field Sergeant Fine Ass or Lieutenant Fine Ass or if you're a bit shy then Private Fine Ass. I do wonder how he'd act if he ran into Captain Fine Dick. That would be a moment.


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