Beware the nude werewolf. Here's why.

  • He's married. All the great ones are either married werewolves or gay werewolves or (thank you Supreme Court) married gay werewolves.
  • He's not harmed by piercing jewelry so may be immune to silver bullets as well, though that egg-shaped vibrator called a bullet some folks shove up their holes may be something he's not immune to (as far as it causing erection). So once in his clutches nothing can save you. Except maybe sucking really well.
  • He is angry because someone has made him completely smooth from the neck down (not a traditional werewolf look) and all the other werewolves tease him about it (while jacking off).
  • He has bad taste in lampshades.
  • He's flirted with Libertarianism so you'll need to spend extra time educating him about the intense homophobia of Rand Paul.
  • He's in his late 20s so is having his Saturn return and is therefore really in flux as he simultaneously looks back and looks ahead which makes him flighty and distracted and way more likely to rip your clothes off you, turning them to shreds, and treat you like a cum dump, not at all appreciating the trouble you went through to dress nice and have a nice evening together watching an HBO dramedy.
  • He's hungry.

nude werewolf

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