naked mug shot

Allegedly. I mean the naked part is not alleged, nor the shot part. But the mug part is. While this fella may have a majorly sordid past (and present and future), I cannot confirm with full journalistic ethics intact that this is his mug shot or that he's ever done anything illegal.

But if he has violated the law and if this were his mug shot, I'm sure the charge was felony oxygen deprivation of cocksucker throat in the first degree. With a side charge of misdemeanor crashing on a guy's couch for weeks, eating all the good stuff out of the fridge (not to mention the cabinets), and watching boob flicks on Cinemax while drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade by the gallon.

But really, he's in jail for the crime of breaking my heart (and the fashion crime of stubbly face and smooth body). He stole that look from Celine Dion.

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