You'll never guess what happened to me the other day. A thief broke into my house. Pretty scary stuff huh? The totally weird thing about it though is that he didn't take anything. In fact, he left something behind in my champagne glass and when I drank it it left quite the sour taste in my mouth. If you happen to find an incredibly muscular naked dude in a balaclava and sporting an 8.5" uncut beauty of a cock, be sure to let me know. Send him my way before you do anything with him please. I saw and tasted him first. That's care of Maskurbate of course.