We'll look back on this day as part of a dark time in history when a man was not legally allowed to marry a urinal. How can you look upon this tearoom pervert's allegedly drug-induced visage and not wonder what his life could be if he could marry his one true love?
It's already difficult enough for him to bring the urinal home for Thanksgiving dinner with the folks. The closest he managed was showing his hateful parents a picture on a tablet computer that (gasp) was not an iPad. He also attempted to bottle the stank yet refreshingly intoxicating air but his mom had gone adventurous and cooked a curry (so unlike her since she grew up in Iowa) and the curry smell somehow override the delicate bouquet of urinal porcelain, urine, more urine, semen, more semen and Vaseline-brand vaseline.
Vote Yes on Man Toilet Love Initiative 407 on your local ballot. May we all eat urinal cakes at the wedding and live the Human Rights Campaign's dream of equality (for naked white men). Love is love.