Halloween costume inspiration is everywhere. And there are so many options. Since I'm a kinky fucker I'm just focusing on the ones that show a lot of skin and/or involve tight clothing and/or getting laid during the party. If you have any ideas (such as to stay home and masturbate to porn on Halloween), share in the comments below. I guess that would be called a "Chronic Masturbator" costume. I don't think they sell that at Target. maybe on eBay.

First up, here's the twinkiest, kuh-utiest gay bfs ever making their Halloween costumes. Kind of Dr. Seuss meets Helix Studios meets Project Runway. Much respect to all the queens who sound like queens (and who show their tight bellies). Making your own costume is often the way to go. You don't even need to know how to sew, just duct tape and a dream!

Now here's YouTube bodybuilding tipster Scooby wrapping glow rope around his stacked and jacked body. It's like if there was a gay disco in the world of Tron and this was the dress code.

Sci-fi can give lots of inspiration for costumes. And so can having a 52" chest. You don't have to show that much skin though. Feel free to wear a long sleeve turtleneck and pants and just leave your dick hanging out of your fly. Your costume can be "College Library Flasher" (and you can add to the realism by surprise ejaculating on someone and running away). Bonus points if that person was deeply engrossed in studying physics (though being deeply engrossed in their iPhone 6 qualifies). The point is your ejaculate should be a surprise and there should be a police report filed. That's commitment to the character!

Pro tips: make sure your shoes are tied before you run away. And don't do it in a place that has valet parking.

Horrible amateur wrestling videos can also be your guide to Halloween triumph. See the guys take on characters, with Academy Award winning quality. As in the Academy of Bad, Semi-Erotic Acting (which includes forgetting to zip up the back of your costume for added gritty realism). Watch these ABSEA contenders duke it out in a wrestling ring that looks like it was purchased at IKEA. Yes IKEA makes tacky video sets now. They just take weeks to assemble.

Now you don't literally have to be Superman. Have you even thought about getting barebacked by him? His ejaculation would be like bullets. Not pretty. But at least he could fly you to the emergency room after.

Just remember, in this modern age, superheroes don't need to rock the PVC/spandex. They just need to be super something. Super horny qualifies. Always.

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