It's not just the lack of claws that makes this Wolverine non-threatening. Although, to be fair, perhaps the plastic (I mean Adamantium) claws are about to break through the skin on the top of his Wolverine hands. I'm scared. Not by him, but by how the likely failure of Sean Saves the World bodes poorly for gay lead character sitcoms.

No, what most reveals him to be non-threatening is that someone felt safe enough to tip Wolverine a buck. I mean, the dude went through so much trouble here. He painted on abs. He whitened his teeth. He took his pants off. He danced for drunk homos. He grimaced. And he gets a buck. Good thing this guy isn't the Hulk. The ugly mishmash of gay bar interior design would get trashed by all that raw green rage.

Instead, let's curl up in sweet, gentle Wolverine's lap and relax. If we're lucky, maybe he'll spend that dollar on us. I hear Mountain Dew is lovely this time of year. As is a single yellow rose.

P.S. Yeah, that is Robin on his knees in the background. Anything for Batman.

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