Jockstraps: On-ramps to the Hershey Highway.

Yeah, they're practical too but their practical nature is not what good-natured jockstrap fetishists perv out on. Ooooh, testicle support! Aaaaah, penis protection! Nope, it's because they feel pervy to wear and look even pervier.

And there are so many kinds. Harder cup ones for baseballers. Swimmer jockstraps. Moody male singer-songwriter skinny jean jockstraps (ok, not really). Even ballet dudes wear dance jocks though (like really high-waisted nude thongs). Balls are a contact sport and they need to be held. If not by you, then by a jockstrap. And then by you when you take the guy's jockstrap off. Or by your mouth if you leave the jockstrap on him and suck his balls through that fabric. My upstairs neighbors are doing that right now. I just know it.

Do you have a jockstrap in your dresser? Yes or no, go to the highest end department store you can find immediately. Then go to its restroom closest to its underwear department. Pull your pants and underwear down and sit in a stall but keep the stall door open. Hang your premade JOCKSTRAP SLUT sign around your neck and wait for magic to happen. Because jockstraps are fucking magic.

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