penis pump

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) reports that penis pumps cost the Medicare program $172 million between 2006 and 2011 on 474,000 claims. That's over $360 per claim on average.

Nobody is questioning the fact that penis pumps are a recognized method of treating noodle dick. The Mayo Clinic says they are for instance, though the Mayo Clinic doesn't use the phrase noodle dick for some reason.

But HHS is pissed because Medicare super overpaid for the pumps. See people don't buy pumps directly, but rather Medicare has suppliers, which you think would enable an even better deal due to bulk discounts. Like when you buy bulk bin rolled oats at the grocery store instead of the kind in the box made of gold.

The Department of Veteran Affairs also covers penis pump claims for instance and pays less than half of what Medicare does. So this is good. Medicare has potential to save millions (of dicks and dollar bills).

Perhaps Medicare should skip the suppliers and just give people sex stamps (like food stamps) which people could use to buy pumps on their own (or human pumps). Why aren't I President?

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