Welcome to Etsy, the marketplace of handmade and vintage goods. Need a pillow with a flourescent embroidered toucan? You've got it. How about an artisan-crafted Taj Mahal salt and pepper shaker set? You win! But what if you want jack-off worthy softcore pics? The thrill is in the hunt, so let's look.

Warm Presents male underwear model

Did you know elephants use their trunks for a variety of tasks, like stripping leaves from branches, giving themselves dirt baths, and ejaculating through semi-perverted gray knit cock warmers?

WangWear male underwear model

This design is very Yoko Ono meets Hello Kitty meets that cute American Apparel sales guy who's working his way through the Fashion Institute of Technology, one crotch at a time.

AmyElizabeth Couture Boutique male underwear model

You know it's high end when the photographer can afford a backdrop and the model can afford a gym membership. Make that three gym memberships.

WildAss male posing suit model

This velvet posing suit is available in a variety of colors. Practical and sleazy, it's got it all. And no, it's not weightlifting that gets his nipples like that. It's the proper attention.

Roagui leatherman journal

Bubbles! This is what a leatherman secretly does when he's alone. That and practice self-fisting.

Oh yeah, you can click the pics to get to each seller's shop. Etsy isn't just a personally curated softcore porn outlet... unless you want it to be!

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