Mosey on over to Vice Merchants for Cowpokes bedding. Can't attest to their e-commerce reliability but I can attest to their naughty little minds. The bedding's washing instructions ought to be to go down to the river and beat them against a rock.
But that's not how to get cowboys on top of you. After you're underneath these 400 thread count covers, fly in a couple of cowboys from Oklahoma to fuck you silly. A very hypermasculine, dirty, dusty, denimy, leathery, cowboy hatty brand of silly. Minus the actual branding. That would hurt.